April 2010

Attention, Shedders! Posting today has been canceled due to lack of hustle.

You see, after a perfect Thursday night in which I earned myself a drive-thru run (well, technically, two, but one order of fries was enough and was delicious) and then came down by eating gourmet chocolate in bed, I realized…I do not want to ruin this perfect state of gasm (food and otherwise) by staring at a computer screen all day.

Actually I’m not even sure I could do more than stare at a computer screen all day. Too many Big Macs and you find yourself feeling sluggish; too many cute McMuffins and you find yourself unable to form coherent sentences and wondering why on earth you thought you were a writer. (Also, there’s some sort of goose egg forming on the small of my back which makes sitting really uncomfortable.) It’s like you think you’re in good shape and then you go take the hardest class at the gym and get a very rude awakening the next morning and wonder if you overestimated yourself. But before you start to think I’m some sort of slacker, you know how people get into a fight and then say, “You should see the other guy”? Right, well…yes, indeed, you should. I inflicted a fair amount of bodily harm, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I’m taking today off from all activities that involve use of my brain. You know, you learn something new every day and today I learned that when a guy texts you he’s going to “f your brains out”…you should take this more literally. Yesterday morning I could have aced the SAT. Today, I’m not sure I remember what the colors on traffic lights mean anymore. If you have e-mailed me, I’ll respond this weekend, but I just really need a day or two to um…find my vowels. And apply Neosporin.

Oh and PS — to anyone who downloaded Gymnertainment, I just thought you should know that the “Chihuahua” apparently respected my complaints and made some changes.

Have a great weekend!

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