Faking It

by Rachel on April 1, 2010

Shed Theater

I’ve talked about the problem with fake foods, 100-motherf*cking Calorie Packs, and artificial sweeteners before, but I’m afraid some hoes just aren’t getting the message. Increasingly, as I deal with this topic, I find myself closing my eyes and rubbing my temples in frustration like my mother does when she talks to me about spending less money.

Not getting it yet? Fine. Let’s try a new approach. Eating fake sugar is like using a vibrator.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Aisha April 1, 2010 at 5:48 pm

I have been lurking for ages, but oh my god!!! I love this video, you are so frank and amazing, I love your blog and reading it.
Fucking hell girl you are amazing.

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2 Becky @ flybynyght April 1, 2010 at 6:46 pm

Love, love, love! Very well said!!! oh, and I’m pretty sure I just peed myself little… lol!!! :)
.-= Becky @ flybynyght´s last blog ..Uh, where’d they go??? =-.

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3 Lauren April 1, 2010 at 6:54 pm

“The real thing doesn’t taste that great either.” Haha, love that line!
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Grocery Finds =-.

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4 Vanessa April 1, 2010 at 6:58 pm

I have never really taken the time to learn much about “artificial” things because the calories are less! But after hearing your comparisons and reading your blog for the past three weeks I am really going to try and kick the habit! Thanks!

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5 Rachel April 1, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Vanessa, your comment has made my day! If I can get one person to stop living on artificial sweeteners, then I truly feel like openly discussing um, taste, is worth it!

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6 Dori April 1, 2010 at 7:37 pm

I always have to tell you my favorite line, and this one is a clear winner:

“A dick produced on an assembly line is not the same as a dick produced by the hands of G-d.”

Brilliant!!!! Hilarious video and you know that I especially agree with you on ALL counts. :)
.-= Dori´s last blog ..New Aromatherapy Scent: Judgment =-.

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7 Britt @ Runnerbelle April 1, 2010 at 9:40 pm

LOVE.
Although…. I need to work on my Splenda habit, might have to give up coffee though to do that! Its the only time I use Splenda any more.

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8 melissa (fitnessnyc) April 1, 2010 at 10:49 pm

I love that song! Umm, I love my vibrator, but as you said it leaves you craving the real thing, and it is not the same. I guess I give it credit for reducing my sluttiness while I was single, but now it’s kind of depressing. However, all your points about fake sugar, 1000% true, any diet coke addicts knows it makes them crave sweetness like nobody’s business.
.-= melissa (fitnessnyc)´s last blog ..Run for it! (and recommendations) =-.

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9 melissa (fitnessnyc) April 1, 2010 at 10:49 pm

I love that song! Umm, I love my vibrator, but as you said it leaves you craving the real thing, and it is not the same. I guess I give it credit for reducing my sluttiness while I was single, but now it’s kind of depressing. However, all your points about fake sugar, 1000% true, any diet coke addict knows it makes them crave sweetness like nobody’s business.
.-= melissa (fitnessnyc)´s last blog ..Run for it! (and recommendations) =-.

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10 Sophie @ yumventures April 2, 2010 at 9:03 am

I <3 this!! You are hilarious, but also 100% correct! Fake sugars definitely suck. Maybe I shouldn't have that diet coke today :)

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11 Mallory April 2, 2010 at 10:44 am

ahhhhh YES finally a flippin person who understandss! YOU JUST MADE MY FRIDAY. so glad i found your blog, plan to do some back skimming. i cannot stand people dousing EVERYTHING they eat with splenda, nutrasweet, truvia, dextrose, ____ose (whatever the junk chemical) fertility takers are! i dont thin kpeopel realize they are so freaking ADDICTED to the taste of sweet from anythign that when it is artificial they crave it EVEN more and use it on everything and it’s giving them the same physiological response freakin sugar would have!
.-= Mallory´s last blog ..I Eat my veggies but I am a ANTI-VEGETARIAN =-.

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12 Laura Georgina April 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

OMG I snorted my breakfast watching this! Wish I could show my coworkers but they’d have to go off and be sanctified by shouting baptists/Laxmi/the hand of Allah and it just wouldn’t be worth it to risk their damnation for their love of fake sugary bidness!
.-= Laura Georgina´s last blog ..Running Adventures: In Which A New Playlist is Rocked =-.

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13 Girlwithnoname (Jackie) April 2, 2010 at 3:49 pm

HAHAHA CHICK!! You are beyond hilarious… and SUCH a truth-sayer!! Good for you for the stand against artificial sweetener… stuff is pure poison.

(btw, check mine from today, I think it might be up your alley! ha)
.-= Girlwithnoname (Jackie)´s last blog ..Hey, Muscleheads!! =-.

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14 Hangry Pants May 6, 2010 at 8:42 pm

All I can muster right now is Oh. My. God.

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