When the show began, I wasn’t sure who the opening act was, but it ended up being Josh Wolf. This guy is hysterical. (And kind of a DILF.)
His act was all about how he has teenage kids who are close to him in age and it was so, so funny. It was physical, it was raunchy, and it was so, so rowdy. He got everyone so fired up; I mean, I was laughing so hard I was nearly in tears. He was the perfect opening act but I would love to see him do a whole show sometime.
After an awesome intro video with some of her best clips set to “Sexy Bitch,” Chelsea came to the stage! Her stand-up is different than I had expected. Most comedians are like “set-up, set-up, PUNCHLINE;” her routine is just like hanging out with your funniest friend. At first, she did a lot of new stuff talking about her recent break-up. She totally ripped on her ex and then talked about how she loves being single.
When she started, she was just so, so chill. Like I said, it was like talking to your funniest friend. She was so cute on stage. We all know she has great abs from seeing Shape, but in person (and we had good seats and a nice view!) she just had a really normal, healthy-looking body. I thought that because she lives in LA she’d rock the bowlegged look that so many starlets have because they are so thin, and have the whole sinewy-arms-sunken-chest thing going on, but she just looks like a normal girl with a cute bod. So nice to see!
She talked about celebrities (she hates Angelina Jolie) and did some bathroom humor, which she just loves. She talked about how much she hates balls, which I found highly entertaining. Then she got into more material from her latest book and and that’s when it got really funny. I said yesterday that I didn’t think her recent book was as funny as the first two, but I have to take that back after seeing her do the entire chapter “The Feeling” live. It’s all about how she was like obsessed with masturbating as a kid — but had no idea that’s what she was doing — and it’s outrageous and ridiculous and so awesome. Her energy during this bit was just over-the-top and I was chatting with a couple of my friends last night and they said they heard that for this book, you should wait for the audio version, and I can see why. Hearing her tell these stories made them so much funnier.
It was such a fun show! The crowd was great and everyone was just loving her and having a great time. Personally, I found everything really inspiring too. Seeing a woman that funny and in control, pulling huge crowds at both Borders and at the Fox, just made me want to work that much harder on my book and on my writing.
During the last half-hour of the show, once my Belvedere buzz wore off, I found myself getting really tired and hungry. It had been a long day and I was starting to crash. I snacked on my fruit and nuts but was really thinking about food. By the time we got on the highway, it was 11:00, so most restaurants were closed, and I felt so tired, I actually felt kind of nauseous.
You know what I really wanted though? A McMUFFIN AND HASHBROWNS. Hmm…seems it takes eight hours to work up a breakfast craving, even if you don’t go to sleep. I decided to go home and make my own, which I did…I also had an orange, some chips and salsa, and some dark chocolate chips.
I have no idea why I woke up feeling so crappy today. I mean, yes, I didn’t eat how I normally do yesterday, but a mocha latte and a double vodka and water should not have sent me into such a crushing hole of nausea. The more I think about it, the more I think I’m not hungover; maybe I’m just sick or something. I did not eat enough crap or drink enough drank to still feel like I want to vom this late in the day!
I’m going to eat something and and try to work out…because, oh, and, as luck would have it, my bikinis just arrived in the mail today. Uggggh. I want to have another horizontal day, this time, on the couch, alone.