In Which We Get Face Down, Ass Up!

by Rachel on May 12, 2010

So, after I posed the question, “Spins for everyone?” on Monday night, asking if you guys would be interested in a virtual spin class, I got an enthusiastic enough response to know that it was time to share my love for spinning, tunes, and technology with you guys.

And when I posed the question, “What should I call it?” my blog friend Bess hit a home run with “Face Down, Ass Up.” I mean, that’s my favorite position on a bike and possibly just in life, so I thought it was perfect.

I’ve been hard at work on this over the past couple days because I was just SO excited about it. And while there were some soul-crushing tech moments (OMFG, PayPal…OMFG…) I’m psyched to have the first two virtual classes ready! Everyone had a lot of great suggestions of things you’d like to see with this whole idea of virtual workouts and they are all things I hope to get completed over the next couple weeks!

But today, we’re going to start things off with the spins!

Face Down, Ass Up Full Ride. Most gyms’ group cycling classes are 45 minutes, including the ones I teach, so that’s what you get with this baby! It’s just like my class but with dirtier, NSFW music. There’s a warm-up, fast jumps, big and small hills, sprints, and a cool-down. Some highlights: Little Boots, bad ass Michael Jackson, and going to church with T-Pain.

Face Down, Ass Up 30 Minute Ride. This is a shorter version of a typical class, but I really love 30 minute rides! That’s usually what I do when I go at it alone. It’s shorter but I still created a complete workout and included all of the elements you’d have in a longer class — just a little less of them! Some highlights: the new Eminem song (amazing!) and B.o.B. “Airplanes.”

Click here to listen to a sample of Face Down, Ass Up!

So basically, I give you the music and the cues as one long mp4 file which you load onto your ipod and take to the gym!

Excited but feeling left out because you’re bikeless? If you don’t have access to a spin bike, both of these workouts will work on other cardio machines. I’ve written up a pretty lengthy explanation on How to Get Face Down Ass Up Without a Bike, so read that over and if you think you can handle it (and I think most of you can!) then definitely get crack-a-lackin’ and come join the fun!

Mmmkkkayyy, now while I hope that you’re all psyched to try it whether you’re a biker or just a gym-goer, we have to get serious for a second.

1. The first rule of Face Down, Ass Up is you do not talk about Face Down, Ass Up. JUST KIDDING. Uhh…please talk about it if you try it and like it! Tweet it, blog it, Facebook it, or just e-mail the link to this page to people who you think would be interested! I’m not going to make more until I’m sure that everyone wants more, so pretend it’s 1:00 am and you’re drunk and let a girl know you want it.

2. The actual first rule of Face Down, Ass Up is that you MUST watch the Losing Your Virspinity video before doing it. Even if you’ve been spinning forever, I want you to refresh yourself! You need to know where I’m coming from as your virtual instructor. That means remembering which position is which, where your hands should be, why it feels so sexual, etc.

3. If you’ve never taken a spin class, I don’t want you doing this on a bike — you could get hurt. I love taking virspinity, so I’ll work on one for beginners, but I’d still prefer that you attend at least one class with a real, live instructor first, just so you get a feel for it and learn how to set up your bike. (I know, I’m totally rejecting your virspinity like Edward rejects Bella’s advances in “Twilight” and it’s not easy for me, but it is the right thing to do.)

4. Don’t be ridiculous. (Best rule of everything in life, right??) When you download, you’re accepting liability so don’t do it if you have bad knees and then try to sue me in a month. The only think I’ll take responsibility for is your rockin’ ass.

Last but not least, the price on this is a donation and that’s because I feel like it will mean something different to everyone. So I guess I’d rather you just decide what it’s worth to you based on how much you think you’ll use it and how you decide what’s a good value for things like this! For some people, it might be like a DVD you do twice a week; for other people it might be like a class you’d take once or twice a month. So I’d rather you just decide what works for you and your fitness budget!

And now, to the business of getting you red-faced, sweaty, and wet…

UPDATED: 1/29/13: The service I use to send automatic downloads is notoriously buggy and the download link that is generated automatically often errors out. If you’d still like to download, you can use the buttons below to order and make a donation and you will receive your download within 24 hours.

Face Down, Ass Up Full Ride

Face Down, Ass Up 30 Minute Ride

I hope you guys like this and find that it’s a good way to change up your workout routine or get reacquainted with your bikes and I’m excited to hear how it goes for you! HOLLER.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dori May 12, 2010 at 10:09 pm

So many things I love about this post, the most hilarious and best being your photo with the arrows to indicate Face Down and Ass Up. The second most hilarious is the official rules image — you are too funny! And talented, I cannot get the hang of Photoshop no matter how hard I try. And I love the first rule :)
.-= Dori´s last blog ..DSB Posting Schedule =-.


2 Rachel May 12, 2010 at 10:13 pm

haha I love you Dori and our shared love for all things dirty. I feel like you more than anyone enjoy the title Face Down, Ass Up!


3 Kim @ LEO the lion says GER May 12, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Holy shit girl, got tickets to the gun show?
.-= Kim @ LEO the lion says GER´s last blog ..Push It Real Good =-.


4 MelissaNibbles May 13, 2010 at 4:39 am

You forgot the most important rule…no one talks about face down ass up.


5 MelissaNibbles May 13, 2010 at 4:39 am

Sorry, I hit enter too early! I meant to say that that was my favorite rule of face down ass up! haha! Sorry!


6 Katie May 13, 2010 at 10:20 am

This is awesome. I posted a link to this on my own blog. Thank you!


7 Lili May 14, 2010 at 4:19 am

Long time reader first time poster etc…BUT OMG! I tried this at the gym this morning (I’m in London, in case the post timing seems odd) and it was sooo good. You are a brilliant instructor, even without actually being there. I’ve been spinning for a year now but your jumps track KILLED me. Thanks so much for all your work putting this together. You are made of awesome.


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