June 2010

When I was a college sorority girl, I led my chapter’s recruitment for a year. I led tons of workshops about how we could be better at getting the girls we loved to really want to join our house and not one of the 11 others.

And I realized this week that trying to get blog readers isn’t so different from sorority recruitment! And it made me think of one workshop in particular that I designed that might really be able to help you improve your blog and get readers.

During this workshop, I printed off a big version of the “woman” symbol and gave it to the girls in small groups with a box of markers and told them to have at it. I wanted to know everything about their perfect potential new member. Then we discussed these qualities and traits as a group so we could be sure we were all on the same page.

Why should you apply this to your blog? Because you can’t seek out “readers” if you use “readers” as some vague, meaningless word! You need to seek out YOUR “perfect reader.” This is is the reader who is perfect to YOU — and once you know who that is, you can write specifically to that reader, and get more readers like them.

So click here for a version of the picture to print. (I only included the female since I know most of you write to a female audience; I try to write to guys too, so print the dude too if that’s your thang!) And then get out your markers and start drawing on her!

  • Start with her brain. What does she think about? What does she know? More important, what doesn’t she know?? That’s what you can tell her!
  • Do her face and her mouth. What does she like to talk about? Do you want her to leave you lots of comments? If so, you’re going to write your blog differently.
  • Her heart. Who is she emotionally? If you’re writing your blog to people recovering from disordered eating it’s different than writing a blog to people who have a significant amount of weight to lose.
  • Her hands. This is her network. She’s going to be creating buzz about your blog. Is she a Tweeter? A Facebooker? This is important because it’s about how you’ll connect with her and how she’ll connect with you. If you decide she’s a Tweeter, then now you know that you need to use Twitter to find new readers.
  • Her skirt. How big is she? This may seem shallow, but it’s important. If you write a weight-loss blog, where are your readers on their journey? Like Kendra said, there are fat blogs and fit blogs. You need to know where your readers fall.
  • Her legs. If you’re writing a blog relating to fitness, what kind of fitness is she into? Does she want reviews of super intense workouts? Is she a yogi? Would she rather you post DVD reviews or give her new workouts to try on her own?
  • Her shoes. It may seem silly, but how pricey are her shoes? Are your readers low-maintenance? Do they care about “materialistic” things? Are they wearing gym clothes all the time because they don’t give a damn about clothes? Or — be honest — are they working out to be skinny and get guys? It matters. And think about your perfect reader’s bank account. Is she wearing $500 designer shoes or $20 shoes? It’s OK if you choose to write your blog to a monied reader…but you have to own that or you’re going to piss people off and get negative comments.

So make your perfect reader and then go find her and write to her and let the love-fest begin! (And maybe then you can get into inventing your perfect man and hope it works just as well.)

{ 6 comments }

mean girls

So Monday was my grandma’s birthday and my mom asked me at like…2 PM if I was planning to make a cake. After the creamy dreamy chocolate cake I made last year with the world’s best frosting, I can see why she’d want me to get on that again. But what to have?

We started brainstorming ideas and then she said that she kinda wanted to make a Jell-O cake. I supported that idea and asked that she look for something besides Cool Whip to top it with. After all, I’m pretty sure Cool Whip, though delicious, has more chemicals than a can of hairspray.

Seriously — check out this nasty experiment in which Cool Whip is left out for twelve days. I could not, in good faith, by Cool Whip after seeing that!

She asked me if I just wanted to make the Cool Whip and I found a recipe on CDKitchen and worked on that while she made the Jell-o cake. There’s probably a real recipe for Jell-O cakes out there, but we just sort of made this one up…and it tasted juuuust fine!

Ingredients

One box of chocolate cake mix (or make it from scratch if you’re more ambitious)

One box raspberry Jell-O

1 teaspoon gelatin

2 tsp cold water

3 tbsp boiling water

1/2 cup ice water

1/2 cup nonfat dry milk

3 tbsp sugar

3 tbsp oil

Thawed frozen raspberries

This Is How We Do It

First, chill a small mixing bowl. Meanwhile, soften the gelatin with 2 teaspoons cold water, then add the boiling water, stirring until gelatin is completely dissolved.

This step smelled kinda gross, but I surmised it must be the horses.

Set the gelatin aside and let it cool a bit. Then put the ice water and nonfat dry milk in the chilled bowl. Beat at high speed until the mixture forms stiff peaks. Add the sugar, still beating, then the oil and gelatin.

It’s times like these when I’m so happy to have my Kitchen-Aid, Betty. We all know that beating anything for 15 minutes straight makes a girl’s hand get tired.

Put it in the freezer about 15 minutes and then transfer to the refrigerator until ready for use.

While that’s chillin’, get to the cake! Make the chocolate cake and the Jell-O according to the package directions. Let the cake cool in the fridge for a bit — you don’t want it to cook the Jell-O.

Poke holes in the cake throughout with a toothpick and then pour the Jell-O over the cake, letting it soak in.

You can kinda play it by ear on how much Jell-O to use; we didn’t use the entire batch. You don’t want to drown it. Put the cake in the fridge and let it hang out for about two hours. Then frost it with the whip and top with the raspberries.

And then, I don’t know…DIE?

Really, the cake was just great! The raspberry flavor was right on and the whipped topping and the berries were just a great combo.

You can make this with any flavor of cake or Jell-O, so get creative. It was a very good birthday cake…ahhh very, very good. (I’m reminiscing and getting a really dreamy look on my face.)

Happy Hump Day!

{ 6 comments }

Rule #3: Laugh Like You Mean It

by Rachel on June 30, 2010

Today I’m going to talk about a very real and serious topic: misuse of the acronym for “laughing out loud.”

Despite the fact that I have stated my feelings on this subject on many occasions, people still find it necessary, in our text, e-mail, and Facebook conversations, to use “lol” as though it is punctuation.

It’s not.

I laugh out loud a lot. Like, my mom often says, “What were you in your room laughing about last night?” (One night it was at these 41 Hilarious Mugshots — I’m not exaggerating when I say I laughed for ten minutes straight and then on and off for the next hour. My abs hurt and my make-up was running because I was so overwhelmed with hysterics.)

I can’t help myself! I love to laugh. I surround myself with friends who make me laugh. And, oh yeah, I try to make people laugh. And of course everyone likes making people laugh, but, really, making people laugh is in my job description.

So if you’re not really laughing, I feel as though you’re lying to me. And…I take it personally.

Here’s my guide to expressing laughter virtually.

LOL :)

  • Don’t type “lol” after you’ve made a joke to let me know you’re making a joke. I know internet humor is tricky but you aren’t actually laughing at yourself. If you must clarify, just say “haha.” I’ll get it. And “haha” isn’t a lie.
  • Guys — do not write “lol” in an effort to make it seem like you didn’t just suggest something really dirty you want to do to me. I know that guys think “lol” is the perfect way to flirt but…you aren’t really laughing to yourself. At least I hope you aren’t. If you’re sitting there giggling as you tap out, “Let’s f*ck in public tonight”…we do not share the same sense of humor. You either mean it or you’re kidding. I’m pretty sure you mean it. So just own it. And then suggest a location.
  • Do not write “LMAO” at your own apparent joke (especially if you’re a dude who just suggested something really dirty). I mean, really!? Really. I crack myself up sometimes, but I rarely type something so hysterical I feel qualified to say I’m laughing my ass off at myself. If I do write something so ridiculous I crack myself up, my friends know because I’ll just write, “hahaha I totally cracked myself up on that one.” Then we all laugh out loud at our respective desks even harder.
  • If you are LMFAO or ROTFL at your own joke, you need to go to LOL rehab because now you’re just being ridiculous.
  • I do not like “lol.” It’s weak. If I’m really laughing, you’re going to get it IN CAPS. “LOL” means “WOW, that was really funny and I just burst out laughing and am now enduring the public embarrassment that comes along with it.”
  • “LITERAL LOL” must be written to people who do not understand the rules of LOLs. (Unfortunately, some people know even less about the definition of the word “literal” than they do about LOL…but that is a topic for another day.) To my close friends, LLOL will also do the trick. Although my close friends, in general, know that LOL is the same as LLOL or even lol. We simply do not lie about our laughs.
  • If you and your friends LLOL a lot, it’s acceptable to say “lolz” or “lulz” sometimes because that usually causes an extra LLOL for both parties. I mean, I hate hipsters, but basically “lolz” is ironic and therefore acceptable. It should still be done sparingly, or it loses its hilarity!

hahahaha

  • If you type “haha” it means, “I’m smiling and I’d probably laugh out loud if we were together but I’m not moved enough to laugh out loud here by myself.”
  • If you type “hahaha” it means the same as “haha,” only the joke was even funnier.
  • If you type “HAHA” it just means, “That was really funny and I totally appreciated it, and maybe even emitted a loud snort or ‘HA!’ but I didn’t actually laugh.”
  • If you type “HAHAHA LITERAL LOL,” you are about to pee your pants and I feel as though I just struck gold.

There’s nothing I hate more than watching a friend sit in front of her laptop totally straight-faced as she types “OMG LOL hahaha.” Surround yourself with people who make you LLOL. It’s worth the stares in Starbucks to have friends who make you feel good!

{ 23 comments }

Rachel Getting Hungry: Warm Spinach Salad With Bacon and Scallops

June 29, 2010
rachel wilkerson

I love what happens when you return from datecation only to discover you were so caught up in the moment, you ran out of town five days early and left behind a fridge of good groceries…that’s not so good anymore! Yesterday around lunch time I was getting pretty hungry and had limited options. It was [...]

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Lesson #12: How to Criticize a Friend

June 29, 2010
lessons

I love helping people feel good about themselves, but I can’t stand being fake — especially when someone asks for my honest opinion. If a friend says to me, “I want your honest opinion,” it’s because she wants to hear the truth…not what I think she wants to hear. (Well…if she did just want me [...]

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I Blog Hard Part III

June 28, 2010
talk nerdy

If you’re still with me after my post on starting a blog this morning, let’s keep going! Once you’re all set up with a domain name and a platform and a design, then it’s time to start pimping your blog. Here are some steps you can take to make your blog above average — which [...]

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I Blog Hard Part II

June 28, 2010
talk nerdy

After convincing you why you need a blog and sharing the important things to think about before you start that blog, today I wanted to share more of the techie stuff about starting a blog! I already talked about your blog’s inner beauty, but today it’s time to make your blog look pretty and shiny. [...]

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Houston…We Don’t Have a Problem

June 27, 2010
texas

Well, it’s been a week since I got on the plane to Houston, and it’s been a really good week: fish tacos and margaritas, Greek pizza and FDAU, BBQ and Firefly vodka, cougars and quesadillas, and Caesar turkey burgers and Ron Burgundy. The weekend was great too! There was pool time, Target time, fried chicken, [...]

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Datecation Day #5: Hail, Caesar…and Ron Burgundy

June 25, 2010
caesar

The most perfect sorta-dreary Friday afternoon is currently underway! This morning I was browsing blogs while working at Panera Bread and I came across Sophie’s recipe for Caesar Salad Turkey Burgers. Uh…done and done! After all, last night Eric and I talked for a good twenty minutes in the grocery store about our love for [...]

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Datecation Day #4: Cougars and Quesadillas

June 25, 2010
dinner

HEYOH! TGIF! Seriously, I couldn’t be more excited it’s the weekend. Now datecation can really begin. (I was actually only planning to arrive last night!) Eric is taking half of the day off so we can really go out and play! Well, we went out to play last night. We went to happy hour with [...]

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