Lesson #11: How to Get Over of a Fear of Flying

by Rachel on June 21, 2010

Ever been afraid of flying? Don’t be.

  1. Read Meeting Your Half Orange.
  2. Put a picture of an orange on your Vision Board and ask to fall in love.
  3. Confront your secret crushes and accept it when your crush doesn’t see you as a Five.
  4. When a really good friend offers to set you up with a guy who she thinks is perfect for you, let her, even if he lives in another state. Even if he lives in Texas.
  5. Rate the new guy accordingly. Be surprised when you realize he rates pretty high.
  6. Look really good on web cam while you video chat with him for at least three hours a day.
  7. Realize that the situation is absolutely ridiculous, in the best way possible.
  8. Tell your friends and your mother “DIK.”
  9. Let him book you a flight for your first date, on the agreement that there are no expectations.
  10. Stop watching “Law & Order: SVU.”
  11. Re-read Meeting Your Half-Orange in between more three-hour video chats, non-stop texts, and a few lengthy phone calls.
  12. When the date-cation is a five days away, and you can barely stand the anticipation, take good ridiculous to a new level and suggest he book your flight for…like…now. Wait while he calls Southwest at 1 AM to re-schedule your flight for the next day.
  13. Appreciate the fact that Southwest is kinda baller and lets you check two bags for free. Subsequently over-pack. Be OK with it because you know this is a trip where you aren’t bringing any excess baggage.
  14. The day of the flight, try to eat but realize that it’s damn near impossible because of the anxiousness you’re feeling. You were already like a kid before Christmas, and now it’s like Santa told that kid, “Hey guess what! Christmas is December 15th this year! And you’re getting a PlayStation, a pony, and maybe getting laid!”
  15. Since you can’t eat, have two drinks…and suddenly remember why you drink. You can tooootally do this. Board the flight to Chicago. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
  16. Transfer to the plane to Houston. Close your eyes as it takes off and try to be OK with the enormity, ridiculousness, and level of optimism involved in what you’re doing.
  17. When you’re en route and your buzz wears off, you’ll start to get anxious again, so have another drink on the flight…
  18. …and then go ahead and have a second (well, technically, fourth). I mean, really, you’re flying across the country for a first date! Then remember that you’ve been too nervous to eat anything all day so you should probably lay off the booze at this point.
  19. Still lacking an appetite, offer your seat-mate your airline-issued 100 Calorie Pack of Cheese Nips. When she says, “Oh my gosh, thank you! There’s nothing I’d like more than to have your nips!” and then turns bright red, die laughing with her. This moment will be the moment when all your anxiety and nerves completely vanish and turn to pure excitement. Turns out, your LOL is actually more calming than any drink could ever be.
  20. Despite the fact that you’re not a rom-com girl, kiss him right in the middle of baggage claim and let your date-cation begin!

Any questions?

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

1 MelissaNibbles June 21, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Whoa. More please!


2 Trinidad Pena June 21, 2010 at 12:20 pm

OMG! Now I can’t stand the anticipation! Play by play, please!


3 Eunice June 21, 2010 at 12:23 pm

OMG. That is so exciting! Have fun! Can’t wait to read more. :)


4 Erica Sara June 21, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Love #10 & 15! Dying to hear how the date went! Hopefully it was worth the flight ;)


5 Suzanne June 21, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Yay! THis is great and I can’t wait to hear more!


6 Isha June 21, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Best story ever, or BEST STORY EVER? I read “Half Orange” on your recommendation, by the way, so I like hearing follow-ups about it.


7 Lauren June 21, 2010 at 12:53 pm

shut the eff up, you are SO a rom-com girl right now.

p.s. already circulating your blog around the new office….


8 FoodCents June 21, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Love it, loved it yesterday, love it more today. LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!


9 Rachel Marlena June 21, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Omg omg omg omg I am freaking out right now and it is your life not mine!!! How long are (were?) you there??? Was it amazing?? Ahhhhhhh you need to write a ridic long post… Or e-mail… Or something.


10 Manon June 21, 2010 at 1:01 pm

OMFG….love it. LOVE IT. Sounds like something I would do, since I’ve done pretty much the same thing before…..imagine that…….enjoy, enjoy, ENJOY!!!


11 Summer June 21, 2010 at 1:13 pm

This is waaaaay better than a Bridget Jones novel. Can’t wait to read the next chapter!


12 Nikki June 21, 2010 at 1:53 pm

YAY!!! This is so exciting! Even though I’ve never had a first date flight I’ve been separated from my love for long periods of time and there’s nothing better than the anticipation and then the kiss.

Now I’m getting excited thinking about my next reunion kiss.

And I agree with everyone… more details!


13 Kaytee June 21, 2010 at 2:04 pm

OH MY GOD RACHEL!!! I’m so excited about this for you. And I swear I have a big long email heading your way when I can wrap my head around life long enough to put it all together.

This made me smile so hard. Awesome post.


14 Leah (Nutritionista) June 21, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Ugh, of course I couldn’t NOT comment on this piece of amazingness. I’m just bursting with happiness for you guys right now. This is your Jose moment, and you better grab it by the balls and LIVE IT! I LOVE YOU!!


15 Lauren June 21, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Leah- after this success story, I’m just wondering if you have someone equally as fantastic for me…..haha :-) Rachel has indicated you’re a tribe member, so one of those would be great….


16 Leah (Nutritionista) June 21, 2010 at 4:59 pm

I would be happy to send the next one your way! OMG… What if I’m the next Patti Stanger?? Maybe nutrition was the wrong business…


17 Lauren June 21, 2010 at 6:07 pm

omg SHUTUP LEAH. I loooove Patti!!! I think this means we’re meant to be friends. I’m def going to need to visit you and rach once the move happens (although we all know she’s prob moving to TX soon)!


18 Kendra June 21, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Woman! You totally just got my heart rate up and you’re making me feel all twitterpated on your behalf. I can’t wait for the rest of the story!!!


19 Smash June 21, 2010 at 3:47 pm

OhEmGee so excited to see this! Well after I read it on Twitter of course. :) Can’t wait for an update on your date-cation!!!


20 Tamsin June 21, 2010 at 4:02 pm

ooo my hometown is Houston! I’ll actually be there this weekend randomly enough. Have a blast!


21 Elisabeth June 21, 2010 at 4:03 pm

OK. I am the biggest nimrod. I was all like “I wonder what’s going on with Rachel…I wonder why I haven’t seen her in my FEED!?”


GAH! Now I have to go back and catch up. I’m so excited for this trip…can’t wait to hear all about it!


22 Bridget@PavementandPlants June 21, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Ahh, this totally explains why you would come to Texas when the heat index is currently 101 degrees. There really is no other reason to come…

If this works out, I would love to switch places- you can live here and Ill swap out for Ann Arbor!


23 Leah (Nutritionista) June 21, 2010 at 5:01 pm

At the rate Rachel’s going, you may have to come be my roommate!! I’m worried I’m going to lose her to TX!


24 Bess June 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Who needs Craig’s List or Match.com when you have Hollaback Health!


25 Jess June 24, 2010 at 11:47 am



26 Emma August 23, 2010 at 10:16 pm

I’ve been browsing around your blog tonight because, you know, it’s pretty much my most favorite blog. And, I came upon this, and reread it. And loved it. Again. So well-written. You are so freakin’ talented.

Oh, and I loved #13. I read through all the comments and nobody commented on it, so I had to.

You rock. :)


27 Kristine September 17, 2010 at 3:40 pm

Just found your blog and I LOVE this post!!! I did the same EXACT thing. Except Arizona, not Texas! :)


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