HEYOH! TGIF! Seriously, I couldn’t be more excited it’s the weekend. Now datecation can really begin. (I was actually only planning to arrive last night!) Eric is taking half of the day off so we can really go out and play!
Well, we went out to play last night. We went to happy hour with some of his friends. I’m trying to keep the gushing in check, but it was a lot of fun.
So, after a few beers, we were pretty hungry and decided to head out. I stopped in the bathroom and ended up walking in at the same time as this older woman who had been sitting with us. (There were a lot of friends of friends at the table and a lot of people were meeting for the first time.) She started chatting with me. She asked if I was in landscape architecture like most of the people at the table (ah…nope) and then asked if Eric was too. I said no, that he was an engineer, and she cackled and said something to the effect of, “Wooooo-weeee!” [I don’t even know how to spell the noise she made…] “Quite a little body on that one!”
I just smiled to myself in my stall and said something like, “Uh-huh…” while thinking totally innaprop thoughts. When I came out to wash my hands, she just really started chatting me up. She started telling me that she had just gotten out of a relationship (uh, in case you can’t tell, I make friends really quickly) and how she wanted to start organizing some “girls only” happy hours during the week. She sort of looked at me expectantly like she wanted me to come but then we got onto the subject of how I’m from Michigan (it’s amazing how well you can get to know me during one bathroom break) and then somehow she brought it back to Eric. And she was totally talking about how attractive she thought he was.
Now. I am the least jealous person you will ever meet; it’s honestly an emotion I think I’ve experienced like…three times in my entire life. I don’t ever get territorial. But our recently-single cougar was starting to bring out the lioness in me.
So she sort of went on about him and then, I guess, had a moment of clarity and realized I had been sitting with him the whole night and we weren’t really keeping our hands to ourselves, so she finally said, “Are ya’ll dating?”
Now. Normally this is not a question I’d answer without a full confirmation from Facebook, but I was totally feeling “National Geographic” with the coug so I didn’t even hesitate. I just sort of drew myself taller for the impending animal kingdom showdown and said, “YUP.”
Cause I mean…bsh plz.
When I left the bathroom, Eric was waiting for me and my new friend took one last opportunity to chat him up and get his card (“networking” my high, toned ass) and really lay it on thick. I wasn’t even mad; I was more amused than anything. (I really wanted to say, “Don’t you think his hair looks sexy pushed back? Tell Eric his hair looks sexy pushed back.”) She asked how long I would be staying and I said, “Not too much longer, but don’t worry…I’ll be back!”
I gave her my biggest smile, hoping that besides looking overbleached, my teeth also looked super sharp.
As we left the bar, I said, “Well, she wanted your balls.”
We had a good laugh about it…then I told him that I’m glad he’s so popular but that I’m still going to pee on him to mark my territory before our next outing.
It was pretty late and we were getting super hungry but we had no clue what we wanted for dinner. All I knew was that I was craving something encased in a tortilla. We decided to stop at Kroger and pick up quesadilla supplies. And grapes, because I had been in the mood for some grapes all day.
You should never, ever get takeout when you can go to the grocery store. Throwing on my apron and making this from scratch made it a million times more satisfying and delicious. It was just totally happy food.
Here’s the thing: you absolutely have to eat what you are in the mood for whenever possible. It’s the best way to live. If some cougar getting a little too friendly with your date means you’re in the mood for blue corn chips, Garden Fresh salsa, a quesadilla with sour cream, and grapes, then you simply must eat that. You cannot go wrong.