Rachel Getting Hungry: Say Cheese! Win Cheese!

by Rachel on July 22, 2010

Goooooood Thursday morning!

I have to say, the following post would be so much better if I had lugged my Nikon DSLR to Houston. A point-and-shoot will not do this cheesy goodness I experienced last night any sort of justice.

Anyway, on Monday night, Eric and I attempted to plan good meals for the week but I had no real inspiration. (Well, in all honesty, his lack of a grill is behind this. I have inspiration; I just lack the necessary tools.) What to make on the stove top? All I could think of was spaghetti. Then I was hit with an overwhelmingly good idea: grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, or, my favorite so-now-I’m-classy French I vocab term…le croque monsieur.

This delicious idea was made even better when I realized Sargento had sent me coupons to try their new reduced-sodium cheeses. Seemed like a great opportunity to me because cheese is so damn expensive, and I wanted a lot of it for this meal!

I also got a loaf of white bread from the bakery, a block of sharp cheddar, thinly-sliced ham, Dijon mustard, asparagus, and a big can of tomato basil soup. I was seriously looking forward to this meal all week. Every time I’d start thinking about melting cheese and salty ham, I’d just start getting all warm inside.

So last night, it was the Hump Day Treat!

I went with cheddar, the Sargento provolone, and a sprinkle of mozzarella on mine; Eric’s got the Sargento provolone and Colby Jack, plus mozzarella. I realized that in an effort to avoid Weightcation I should always make a point to make my portions smaller than his because I don’t need to eat like a guy. I also realized that if I give him portions that are a little too big, even for a guy, he might get too pudgy to be able to ever cheat on me.

Everybody wins!

After assembling the girl and guy sandwiches, I put them on the George Foreman which was made for this — made for this!

I shoved the lid down (they were so fat, the GF didn’t want to close) and let them cook for about 12 minutes. While they were getting cripsy and perfect, I sauteed the asparagus in bacon fat and butter (I know…just die) and then heated the soup.





I can’t even count the number of foodgasms I had in this meal. Can’t. Won’t. Approximately ever two minutes, one of us just had another one. One minute it was, “Oh this ham is to die for!” and the next minute it was, “But the mustard totally makes it!” And so on and so forth.

Oh and then we had creme brulee for dessert.


The thing that was great about this dinner is that it is delicious and mind-blowing, but it’s also light and doesn’t leave you stuffed. It was just pretty much amazing in every way, shape, and form. I’m already looking forward to having the leftovers for lunch today.

So, now that I’ve made you sufficiently hungry first thing in the morning, and you’re thinking about stopping on your way home from work to get the supplies for this, I do have something to offer you to help with that: free Sargento cheese! The company sent me extra coupons and, well, you know I like to give it up!

To enter to win, please answer this question: What is the cheesiest pick-up line you’ve ever heard? It can be a classic (“Are you Jamaican? Cause Jamaican me crazy!”) or it can be a funny story about a guy or girl who really earned your “Are you f*cking kidding me?” face with their cheese factor. I know you all are funny and attractive enough to have some great ones; I fully plan to LLOL all day reading the entries!

This reminds me of a time in college when Julia and I were at the library and a frat guy approached our table and made awkward conversation with us for far too long. We were IMing each other things like, “Is he serious?” for a few minutes, trying to be nice but also thinking, OK, he needs to leave. Struggling for something to say, the guy finally looked down at the desk and at my string cheese and just blurted out, “String cheese, huh? Cheese is awesome.” Julia and I have had a lot of funny moments but I’m not sure we’ve ever struggled so hard to keep a straight face. “Cheese is awesome” said in a totally monotone, awkward way has become one of our all-time favorite lines.

Mmmm, that story is like these sandwiches….cheese upon cheese within cheese.

Anyway, just leave a comment here with your answer! And if you Tweet the link to this or post it to your blog or Facebook, just leave me a comment saying you did and you’ll be entered again. You have until tonight at 11 PM EST. I’ll choose the winners at random and announce it tomorrow!

May the best cheese win!

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Rachel Marlena July 22, 2010 at 9:29 am

Bahaha the other day this guy said, “Hey how much does a polar bear weigh?” ummm….idk a ton or so? “Just enough to break the ice!” I could not decide if it was the WORST thing I had ever heard or the most genius. I’m going with cheesy just for the entry though. ;)


2 Dori July 22, 2010 at 9:44 am

Well cheese IS awesome! Haha, hilarious. Your sandwich is making me crave a juicy grilled cheese. Mmmmmmm… I will never forget this pickup line, said to my best friend:

“You know your eyes? They’re really beautiful”


3 amanda July 22, 2010 at 10:01 am

I would like to say my husband’s pickup line was, “do you like beer?”. I was like, “I am not old enough to drink” (at this time I wasn’t). He then proceeded to say, “I didn’t ask you that, I just want to know if you wanted some beer”. Haha So anyway, he proceeded to get me some beer after I said sure and commented on how much I suck at playing pool (so true!!). 10 plus years later we are still together.


4 Kara July 22, 2010 at 10:13 am

While I can’t claim this one as my own, a friend of mine Jillian won a contest at a bar with this pick-up line she would use for Jacob:

“It feels like a full moon tonight… why don’t you bust out of your clothes?”


5 Kara July 22, 2010 at 10:14 am

Twilight Jacob that is…


6 Sophie @ yumventures July 22, 2010 at 10:24 am

Ok I have two:

1) My best friend (who is the whitest white person on the planet) had a guy ask her if she was Latina (she responded by looking at her arm, looking at him, and looking back again.)

2) I have to admit, my “pickup line” when I’m single is bumping into people at the bar. Like, you walk casually past a guy who you think is cute and “accidentally” knock into him. “Oh I’m so sorry!” you say as you touch his arm. If hes interested, he will keep talking and you’re set. If hes not and turns away, keep walking and there is no bruised ego! Win win. Though it becomes pretty dangerous when you’ve had 4 G&Ts and proceed to act like a line backer and literally crash into someone, spilling their drink all over them in the process. Been there, done that. My friends call it the “Sophie Bump” :)


7 Tara July 22, 2010 at 12:24 pm

I so have less than nothing to add to this conversation but I am LOVING and LOL’ing at the drunk sophie bump. That just sounds f’ing awesome!!!!


8 MANON July 22, 2010 at 10:29 am

Oh, the cheesy lines…….the most recent (after he sang Boyz to Men in SPANISH in a karoke bender)– “My name is Chance, because my mom took one on my dad, here’s my # if you wanna take one on me”. If he hadn’t been stalking me since, it would still make me giggle because as lame as it was, at least it wasn’t lame that I’d already heard a million times :)


9 emily July 22, 2010 at 10:42 am

It’s not exactly a pick-up line, but the first time my now-husband kissed me he said “I just can’t take it anymore!” I thought this was so cheesey that I held onto it for 5 years and finally when it was time for our “you may kiss the bride” at our wedding I stopped him mid-lean in to gasp “I just can’t take it anymore!” He just rolled his eyes but my best friend and I laughed hysterically :D


10 Nicole July 22, 2010 at 10:45 am

My favorite pick-up line happened when I was studying abroad in Spain last summer. Spanish people are known for being direct, and they seemed to be obsessed with PDA….and hickeys…, but this was outrageous.

I was leaving the bar, and these this Spanish guy – probably 17 at the OLDEST – marches up to me, and starts talking to me in extremely broken English and partially in Spanish….with his friends down the block watching…

“You Americana, no?”
“Yes, why?”
“We fuck, no?”
“What? No? Who says that?!?”
“I can be your Spanish fuck, no?”


11 Bridget@PavementandPlants July 22, 2010 at 11:05 am

The worst pickup line I ever heard was when I was walking home after a football game in my band uniform and a guy shouted “Put on your hat for me, complete the fantasty!”
Creeper…Even I know i look nerdy in my band uniform.
A side note, a guy was trying to hit on me and commented “Nice legs” to me. I totally ruined the mood and was like ‘Oh thanks! They are from marching band!” Really, Bridget?!


12 Angie July 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

It wasn’t on me, but I was there to witness it.

My brother’s fiance (and baby mama) were walking through the park with her son and this totally crunchy hippy guy was talking to us (not hitting on us at all). So then as we walk away he stops her and says, “You’re really hot, I can totally see how you have a kid.”

Like, “you’re attractive enough I can totally see how someone would do you.”

It’s not even cheese – but totally got the what the f*ck face from both of us.


13 Alicia at Poise in Parma July 22, 2010 at 11:18 am

For my events, we do kickoff parties to get ticket sales going. At the last one, my poor intern was getting hit on HARD by this guy, but she just wasn’t budging. The guy ended up buying a $65 ticket to our event. Once he was done filling out the customer info card, he said to my intern, “I just gave you my phone number, now can I have yours?” Just to shut him up, she gave him her work number! I don’t know if he ever used that ticket he bought…


14 sara d July 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

this one still makes me shudderrrrr

“you’re the cutest thing since teddy bears”

out of nowhere. like i want to be compared to a string-nosed button-eyed stuffed child’s plaything


15 sara d July 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

tweeted via @texylvanian


16 Heather July 22, 2010 at 11:46 am

So my 1st one is the same as Rachel Marlena’s: A guy asked me how much a polar bear weighed, and when I didn’t know, he said, “Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m Don.” Terrible, but the worst part was that his name was Don.

Now that I work in private studios, I don’t have to worry about this one as much anymore, but when I worked at my big gym downtown, I got hit on all the time. And these guys were not subtle at all. “Hey, trainer, can you stretch me?” and “Giiiiirrrrrllll, when are you gonna give me a workout?” My responses? No, and when you pay me.

Oh! And the best one! I almost forgot! (maybe I was trying, actually, haha) I was standing at the gym’s front desk, and this guy was checking in:
“You look like you’d hurt someone.”
“Um, excuse me?”
“Yeah, like you’d be abusive. Like a dominatrix.”
“Yeah, you look all sweet and innocent but I bet you FREAKY”
The guy trainers at the front desk would not let me live that one down EVER. I was called Dominatrix Heather from there on out. Sigh.


17 Therese July 22, 2010 at 12:15 pm

OMG I am drooling just thinking about that sammie!

Cheesiest pick up line ever came from my husband the night we met. He was wasted and the only reason I would even talk to him was because he just so darn good looking…his line? “I know I may sound like an idot, but I actually went to an Ivy League college.”

Playing football at Brown University just makes him an Ivy League meathead if you ask me ;) Although I guess it worked!


18 Katie July 22, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Yay cheese, I love how delicious the sandwich looks/sounds but was soooo much healthier than if you ordered it at a restaurant. For the grill: the boyfriend’s parents don’t grill but broil things like steaks and burgers, even lamb, in the oven. It’s usually really delicious, just no grill marks and a little different flavor.

Okay now onto the cheesy line:
“Hey I’m *insert super irish boy name here*.”
“Oh are you Irish? I am!” (k I was drunk..)
“NICE! I row crew, and I saw you rowing yesterday. We’re both Irish and we both love crew- we should probably do something about that.”

By “do something about that” he meant “do each other.” So lame it’s almost not even a line, just a terrible introduction.


19 Kendra July 22, 2010 at 12:42 pm

I had one guy just randomly say to me “I like the shape of your butt, can I have your number?” Um, no. That definitely earned a WTF face?


20 LindsayH July 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm

I totally never get hit on, like ever.
I can’t even remember having a pickup line used on me! I’m not hideous, people just must think I look like a bitch or something.


21 Amanda July 22, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Omg, your sandwich is making my mouth water!
I was at a bar once and I was wearing a Victoria’s Secret Pink t-shirt that said “Love you, love pink” on it, and this guy came up to me and said, “You know, my middle name is pink…” I just looked at him and said sucks for you! Haha!


22 Vanessa July 22, 2010 at 2:45 pm

very common and unbelievable someone actually SAID it;
are you from Tennessee? cuz you’re the only ten I see.

Wow. lol

LOVE your ideas btw


23 Hilary July 22, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I’m a waitress and getting hit on just comes with the job. I think the most often cheesy line I hear is “Are you on the menu?” That one always makes me cringe. I just want to slap the guy for even suggesting he could buy me. I mean WTF, do I look like a whore? I have also been asked “Can I get some of you in my coffee?” I could not stop laughing long enough to respond.


24 Carla July 22, 2010 at 4:56 pm

So at first I was thinking, Gosh I cant remember any cheesy lines that have been used on me lately . . . then as i LOL’d through all of the previous ones, they slowly came to me!
– When doing autoshows you get this at least 5 times a day, “do you come with the car?” . . . Seriously! Let’s be more original!
-While working at a high school this past year, part of the lesson was for the students to write down their goals for the semester, one of the boys wrote ” to get your phone number” . . . haha little did he know I am 10 years older then him! sick!
-My ex-bf used this on me “your smile makes the day go by faster” . . . we met while working at a restaurant :)


25 Ashley July 22, 2010 at 8:08 pm

My favorite pick-up line was one that’s probably still a favorite among drunken college girls: Hey, wanna makeout?


26 Robyn July 22, 2010 at 9:42 pm

“Is that a shovel in your pocket? ‘Cuz I’m diggin’ that ass . . . ”

My boyfriend used that on me not long after we’d started dating. I was picking something up off the ground and that’s when that little gem was delivered. I think he was joking . . . I think.


27 Allison July 22, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Your boy’s from Texas and doesn’t have a grill? What about a smoker? I’m dating a Texan and I was under the impression that owning one and using it regularly is a state law.

I’d say my “favorite” pick-up line was “Your dress would look better on my floor.” Only the way it was actually delivered was through text, the next day…so I got “that dress was hot, but it would’ve looked better on my floor.” And a few minutes later, “why don’t you stop studying and enjoy the sexy guy hitting on you?” (He wasn’t sexy.)


28 Jennie July 22, 2010 at 11:53 pm

My husband has lots of funny pick-up lines and I still laugh when he uses them on me. This one’s my favorite. “Are you wearing a spacesuit? Cause your ass is out of this world.” :)


29 Audra July 23, 2010 at 1:56 am

A group of friends and I were out one night at a wine and cigar bar. Some incredibly drunk guy walks past our table about 5 times before finally stopping by to give it his best shot. He says, “So ladies, I wonder if you could help me out. I’m doing research because I have this theory that women cheat more often than men do.”

I’m not even sure where he was going with that because that’s all he was allowed to get out before my friend shot him down and sent him on his way. I really can’t imagine that line has ever actually worked for the poor guy.


30 Liz July 24, 2010 at 12:53 am

Ok, so I am totally late and people already won the cheese… but i have a good one.

Him :”Did you just fart?”

Me: “ummm, no”

Him: “Because you buhleewww me away”

He had another one about him being a booger, so I would pick him… I dont remember how it went, and I dont think I ever want to.


31 Tracy July 24, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Another late one for ya. It’s not cheesy but I just had to share it cause it’s so ridiculous.
I was just chatting to a guy last night and I thought we were clicking pretty well. He even mentioned I was his dream girl. Anyway I was out with friends so we swapped numbers and were texting most of the night. I was absolutely gagging for it until he said he wanted to get me pregnant so I’d stay with him forever. WTF!?
Needless to say I stopped texting him straight away


32 FoodCents July 25, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Try some pineapple in the sammie, next time. Ham, cheese & pineapple are great mix, I hear. I am allergic to the p-apple, but I make them for others and they are always enjoyed. Sourdough is a GREAT choice for this mixture, as well.


33 j July 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

I know I’m super late to this party, but I have to comment. My favorites are:

“You have nice eyes, can I touch them.”
“You look like my next ex-girlfriend.”
“Why don’t you and I go back to my place and re-enact pearl harbor. I’ll be the Americans, lie back and do nothing, and you can be the Japanese and blow the shit out of me.”
“I want to be so deep in you that if anyone manages to pull me off you they’ll be crowned the next king of England.”

I will admit to using only one of those. Can you guess which one?


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