Buck Off.

by Rachel on September 10, 2010

Dear Everyone Who Didn’t Just Move to Texas,

I was going to ask what you’re doing this weekend, but I actually don’t need to. I know what you’re doing.

You’re drinking a pumpkin latte.

No, no, you’re right! I didn’t hear you the first time. Tell me again, please!

Tell me until it’s trending on Twitter, because I totally forgot what happens at Starbucks this time of year. They use a seasonal flavor! OMFGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE.

I get it.

Fall is here.

I mean, it’s there.

Where you are.

And you’re drinking a pumpkin latte.

I know…there’s a chill in the air. You had to put on a sweatshirt. There was frost on your car this morning!

It was 90 degrees when I left my apartment this morning and the humidity punched me in the face.

Sort of like I want to punch everyone who “Just remembered that Starbucks has pumpkin lattes again!” in the face.

But you know what? It’s fine. You can spend your Saturday morning sipping on 200 calories of pure sugar.

And come November, when I start tweeting, “God, even if I weren’t half-black, I’d still be rocking a great tan right now!” and twit-picing the palm trees that line the street next to my Starbucks — you don’t get to complain.

On another, less bitter note, I made a ton of pumpkin recipes last fall, when I was living in the great Midwest, and since everyone seems to be so hot and bothered for pumpkin right now, I thought I’d share.

Homemade Pumpkin Latte

Baked Pumpkin Pasta

How to Bake and Eat a Pumpkin

Apple Pumpkin Butter

Pumpkin Butterscotch Cookies

Pumpkin Smoothie

Put on your fall boots and turn on the oven. I’m going to put on my cowboy boots and turn away as though I don’t care.

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Courtney C. September 10, 2010 at 6:54 pm

I agree with you on all accounts.

Sorry I’m not sorry that I HATE pumpkin lattes and I even live in the midwest. Skinny vanils for me all year long. :)

Reply

2 maria @ Chasing the Now September 10, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Hah! This made me laugh and I’m right there with you because I don’t even have a damn Starbucks in my Japanese farming town!

Reply

3 Narita September 10, 2010 at 7:18 pm

YESSSS! SOMEBODY FINALLY SAID IT! Thank you! Seriously, it was getting so annoying.

Reply

4 Dori September 10, 2010 at 7:19 pm

I love you.

I tried one last year after the Twitter buzz and was not impressed. Also, I hate fall, winter and spring.

Reply

5 Lexi September 10, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Your posts make my day. You say exactly what I’m thinking most days. I may need to give that cookie recipe a try.

Reply

6 Rachel September 11, 2010 at 12:07 am

Awww thanks Lexi!!

Reply

7 Kristie September 10, 2010 at 7:22 pm

I’ve never even TRIED a pumpkin spice latte… nor do I really care to that much. Shrug. I could probably make one that tastes better (or is at least mildly comparable), is better for you and is a HECK of a lot cheaper in my own kitchen. So unless they have a free fall latte day I’m not planning on rushing out the door to Starbucks right now.

Reply

8 Caitlin September 10, 2010 at 7:41 pm

I literally Tweeted the other night: “I could care less about pumpkin spice latte. Or pumpkin anything for that matter. #sorryimnotsorry”

I AM OVER THE PUMPKIN. In fact I am over anything HOT as it seems to be all my body to be feeling no matter where I am now. We are fighting the same sweaty, sticky battle my friend. But prevail we will! With t-shirts and tank tops ’round the Christmas tree!

Reply

9 Rachel September 11, 2010 at 12:07 am

Hellz ^ Yeah.

Reply

10 Katie September 10, 2010 at 7:56 pm

I love fall so so much but if I want pumpkin, sugar, and coffee, I’ll have pie with coffee on the side!

Reply

11 Rachel September 11, 2010 at 12:07 am

Well said!!

Reply

12 Anne Bender September 10, 2010 at 8:02 pm

The only good part of not living in the south is Fall, well, and in the north my hair doesn’t have perpetual expansion issues. No pumpkin anything for me, thankyouverymuch. Best part of living in the south – smaller wardrobe. I didn’t realize how many more clothes I would need with actual change of seasons.

Reply

13 Chanelle September 10, 2010 at 8:15 pm

What else can I say… all the commenters have said it well and YOU of course have read my mind and put it out there perfectly like no one else can.

I know I’ve said it before… but you’re my shero. period.

Reply

14 Kaytee September 10, 2010 at 8:33 pm

And this is why you’re one of my favorite imaginary friends.

Reply

15 amanda September 10, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Ha ha I was one of those people on Twitter talking about the pumpkin spice latte!!!! Right now…those little things get me because the closer I am to Christmas the closer I am get to seeing my hubby again. :) But I would also rather be living in TX like you. I miss the nice weather down there so much. One year for Thanksgiving my family came to visit and we went to the San Marcos outlets and it was 90 degrees outside. I Loved it!! They however were like WTF!??!

Reply

16 Aby @ always.aby September 10, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Like so many others here, I don’t like pumpkin spice lattes. In fact, I don’t even care for Starbucks all that much!

We get like one month of supremely wonderful weather around here. I’d much rather enjoy my apple brandy and apple cider – one of my fall favorites – where the humidity never reaches 85% and the temperature rarely falls below freezing.

So… you know… enjoy it. Just sayin’. :)

Reply

17 Tara September 10, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Chicago is beautiful right now! Just enough chill for a cute, sporty jacket and yoga pants. I had the most amazing, uplifting, “I can do anything” runs this week on Lake Shore and I wouldn’t trade fall in the city for anything…not even a teeny, tiny, cute bikini from VS. And I actually am sorry because hot, humid weather s0unds awful right now.

Of course, the trade off girl, is you got yo’self a man!! Hollaaa!

Reply

18 Allison September 10, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Pumpkin spice lattes are overrated. And people who get all excited about Fall piss me off. In fact, I do not understand people from the East Coast who move west and then get all sentimental and nostalgic about “seasons.” It wasn’t until last February that I found a sweater I actually loved — for the first time in my life. I hate being cold and having to bundle up. And yes, I will totally own ALL of that.
In California, we *barely* had a summer — maybe 10 days where the temperature got above 90. (And we *do* have seasons here. Leaves change color.)

Reply

19 Bridget@PavementandPlants September 10, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Thank you. From a fellow Michigander-living-in-Texas, I understand.
Once the “I went to the cider mill!” start I may bitter-tweet back.

Reply

20 Rachel September 11, 2010 at 12:08 am

Let’s start thinking of snarky hashtags now!

Reply

21 Jackie (Peaces of Earth) September 10, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Hilarious!!!! Ditto, man. I live in San Diego and I’m trying to embrace the fallness, but it is just NOT the same.

Reply

22 Danielle September 10, 2010 at 9:48 pm

HA!

Reply

23 Tiffany (Stuffed With Fluff) September 10, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Haha, I read this and very nearly spit my pumpkin latte out in laughter.

I’m from San Diego, and I feel like a fraud drinking it. It’s not even quite fall here. It never was summer here actually, even by SD standards. I am sorry that you miss fall, even if I can’t fully relate.

I like pumpkin lattes but I’m not in LOVE with them (i’m all about Coffee Bean’s Winter Dream Tea Latte). I will not be sorry about loving pumpkin ale though! (and thanks for the pumpkin recipes. I feel like the butterscotch cookies are calling my name).

Reply

24 Rachel September 10, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Everyone: MAKE THE PUMPKIN BUTTERSCOTCH COOKIES! It’s one of my favorite recipes ever!!

Reply

25 Secondhand Smash September 10, 2010 at 11:06 pm

You just fucking rocked my face off. I love a pumpkin latte too (just like 1-2 for the season) and I’m tired of hearing about fall (since it won’t hit here til November like you said!). Thanks for writing what I’ve been thinking since Sept. 1st.

Reply

26 Becca September 11, 2010 at 12:22 am

Honestly, I’m confused as to why it’s fall already in mid-Michigan. I spend two years in Georgia and I think I prefer when Fall starts in November. It just makes more sense.

But. My friend’s boyfriend makes an apple cider/Captain’s/cinnamon drank. Amazing. And probably 100 times better than Pumpkin Spice.

P.S. Bought some Michigan Honeycrisps at Horrocks in Lansing today, I think it pulled me out of my “boyfriend leaving for the weekend” depression.

Reply

27 Rachel September 11, 2010 at 12:27 am

OMG. Honeycrisps. Now THAT is something I can get it up for. The apples in Texas suck!!

If anyone wants to ship me a small bushel of honeycrisps…seriously, name your price.

Reply

28 Cynthia (It All Changes) September 11, 2010 at 1:06 am

I can’t stop laughing and I’m afraid I’ll wake up Hunni who went to bed 2 hours ago. But I’m hyped up on a pumpkin spiced awake tea latte. It was my one and only of the season. Good but not worth the price or sweetness (even with one pump instead of the 1,ooo,ooo just for the sake of fall. I’ll patiently wait my gingerbread lattes :-)

Reply

29 stephanie September 11, 2010 at 2:13 am

I can’t help it. I’m up here in Alberta and sometimes a latte of any kind is all that gets the cold out of your bones. Pumpkin or toffee I don’t even care. Just something warm and sweet everynow and then

Reply

30 MelissaNibbles September 11, 2010 at 6:47 am

This was one of my 3 things Thursday.

It’s a drink. Calm down. If there were some vodka in it, it would be a different story.

Reply

31 Laura September 11, 2010 at 9:13 am

BAHAhahaha….HILARIOUS!!! Too bad your homemade pumpkin latte rocks my world in a way that “Starbies” cant even compare too!!! P.S. OMG, did you hear…pumpkin spice lattes are BACK!?!?! ;)

Reply

32 Jess-The Semi Abnormal Gal September 11, 2010 at 11:08 am

It’s hot as Hades here in FLA still too, don’t worry you aren’t the only girl having a sweaty September…which is still technically summer folks. Quit rushing the fall foods on me, I’m still rocking my fresh fruits and okra, umkay? Thanks!

Reply

33 Cori September 11, 2010 at 1:52 pm

I’m sorry, I’m not sorry that I LOVE pumpkin spice lattes and I live in FL so like you it’s still sweltering! But I only get syrup in my lattes when it’s around and it is Soooo good:) Lol

Reply

34 Lauren @ Team Giles September 11, 2010 at 3:11 pm

I just freakin’ laughed my head off. Oh girl. Welcome to Texas. I feel your pain in so many ways. Humidity punched me in the face this morning. Ah, gotta love it.

Reply

35 Bianca @ Confessions of a Chocoholic September 12, 2010 at 11:30 am

Funny and I totally agree. I’d prefer to eat my calories too, instead of downing a sugary pumpkin drink. Thanks for sharing your pumpkin recipes!

Reply

36 gretchen September 12, 2010 at 4:22 pm

Oh WHATEVER!! You know, I would take NOT FREEZING MY ASS OFF IN MICHIGAN over a pumpkin spice latte ANY day! So I don’t even wanna hear it!! Thanks for that bit of schadenfreude; your jealousy will keep my heart warm at least. Sorry I’m not sorry enough to feel bad for you miss-I-get-a-perpetual-summer!

Reply

37 ashleigh September 12, 2010 at 5:06 pm

hilarious and so true! As a New Englander, I was hoping the summer would never end, but now that fall is here, I must say I do like being able to blow dry my hair without sweating. However in 2 weeks I will be praying for summer again.

And I almost bought a PSL the other day, iced of course, but when I read the ingredients and nutrition info I decided against it!

Reply

38 Betsy September 12, 2010 at 8:18 pm

I could go for sine pumpkin spice vodka.

Reply

39 Bess September 12, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Just catching up on blogs since I was out of town but FUNNIEST POST ALL WEEK!

Until Starbucks gets a liquor license and can serve spiked pumpkin lattes, I’m not buying the hype.

Reply

40 Kendra September 13, 2010 at 11:58 am

As a representative from the home of Starbucks I’ll be happy if I never have to hear another word about Pumkin Lattes. Now I’m just going to start thinking of creative ways to spike my Chai so that I can properly deal with the dreary, gray, drizzly fall here.

Reply

41 Nina26Haynes October 17, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Houses are not cheap and not everybody can buy it. Nevertheless, home loans are invented to support different people in such kind of situations.

Reply

42 Lisa February 25, 2011 at 6:52 pm

100% agreed! I ZOOOOOOONE out when every single blog is suddenly all about pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin in oatmeal and oh my god pumpkin smoothies and muffins….Got it. Do something original!

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 5 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: