Owning It: My Perfect Friday Night

by Rachel on September 17, 2010

I love Fridays. Who doesn’t?! Friday is usually a great day wherever you go, as everyone is excited for the weekend.

And Friday night is even better because you’ve got enough energy to get you through the evening, but you’re worn out just enough to totally wind down early.

Most Friday nights, I know exactly what I want to do to wind down.

And it probably isn’t what you think it is.

On Fridays I love to come home, put on something super comfortable, and get in bed with my laptop…and read wedding blogs for hours.

(Source)

I know.

I KNOW.

Here’s the thing: I was never That Girl. I didn’t fantasize about my wedding as a teenager. It wasn’t until I got to college and started living in the sorority house that I realized girls were already planning their weddings and had been for a while. I found out that some of my most rational, levelheaded, non-delusional friends had entire binders with wedding clippings stashed under their beds.

I was appalled. Like, Come on, ladies….be ambitious!

I don’t know when I made the switch over; I think it was around last summer. A good friend of mine got engaged and I realized, Oh…I guess this stuff can start happening to us now. And more important, I realized, Oh…I guess I want this stuff to happen to me now.

And suddenly, I had a new hobby.

At first, I would do wedding shows on Friday nights. But the ads would make me feel so terrible. It would be a Friday night and during episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress,” I’d be sitting there in yoga pants getting bombarded with ads for yogurt, mops, Weight Watchers, and eHarmony.

Well, thank you for making me feel like a fucking stereotype.

So I moved onto blogs, and I am much happier. Really, I just love looking at pretty things. It was never about planning my wedding. I don’t care about rings too much. I’m not crazy about lunatic bridezillas. I just love looking at beautiful couples, fabulous photography, great locations, and gorgeous decorations.

Really, I love to see the styles of real people and the work of talented artists.

And I love when it’s inspired by romance.

(Source)

Reading these blogs makes me feel just so relaxed and happy. It inspires my creative side and my romantic side. It never made me feel sad to be single; it actually made me excited because I’d think, OMG, some day I am going to be that in love!

I love reading the blogs of people who are about girls like me, with similar interests…but I also love reading about people who aren’t quite like me. The brides I see in these blogs are often just a little older, and so I guess I see them more as people I’ll be…soon. And I like that. These blogs, for some odd reason, also make me miss and love my friends. When I think about who I’d want with me at my wedding, I realize how special they are to me, and how excited I am to watch them fall in love and to start going to their weddings.

I keep all these blogs in a folder in my Reader called “Wedz” and don’t read them any other day of the week; I save them all until Friday night. Here is my current line-up:

And, in the interest of full disclosure, I’ll also admit to this: my friends and I have a shared Google Doc called “Wedding Porn” where we can share the best wedding ideas we see on the web, like this awesome engagement video I saw a couple weeks ago.

OK, and I’ll admit, there is one other reason I read these blogs: they give me workout motivation. Looking at celebs in “US Weekly” doesn’t make me want to hit the gym quite like seeing real women in strapless gowns. My plan is that if I can get super toned and in great shape now, then I won’t have to be a bridezilla who is starving for carbs for the three months leading up to her wedding.

So after reading these blogs, besides feeling all warm inside, I am always super motivated to do Core Fusion.

I love pretty things. I love romance. I’ve owned it.

This is how I spend my best Friday nights. Sorry I’m not sorry.

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Alli September 17, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Do you read Offbeat Bride (http://offbeatbride.com/)? That’s totally my favorite wedding website, just for all of the crazy ideas people come up with.

But wedding blogs aren’t even my #1 guilty pleasure – I reserve that one for MOMMY BLOGS. I don’t know why, I don’t even like kids, but something about these super cute babies just warms the black hole where my heart used to be.

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2 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 1:56 pm

I read Offbeat Bride from time to time!! I like to see/encourage non-traditional weddings!

I haven’t gotten into mommy blogs yet, mainly because I write and edit baby photo blog as part of my job. I get my fill of all the little squeezers that way!

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3 erin m. @wellinla September 17, 2010 at 1:54 pm

The color palette I used for my site is from a pic stolen from a wedding blog. A designer friend and I get together and drink vino or vodka (depends on how the week went down!) + peruse wedding blogs and style mags with every few Friday nights :) Thanks for owning your love and defying the stereotype!

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4 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Totally agree — wedding blogs often have some of the most gorgeous designs! I get a ton of inspiration there!

And I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees the enjoyment in Fridays spent this way!!

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5 Kendall September 17, 2010 at 1:59 pm

My favorite wedding blog is http://ourblogoflove.com ! It’s the blog of Our Labor of Love photography studio in well I have no idea where it is BUT the albums of wedding photos are to die for. They are not cookie cutter photographs – these are original, gorgeous shots of couples in love and everything that occurs on their special day. You’ll get lost in it!

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6 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Ahhh thank you for sharing. This makes my day!!

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7 Lesley September 17, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Fun post! I am always curious what blogs other people actually read…that AREN’T “healthy living”. There are so many other fun topics that I never read about because I don’t know where to start looking!

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8 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Besides wedding, I also read home decor and geek/technology blogs!

I love it!!

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9 Gules September 17, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Ok, so I too have had a very similar wedding obsession but for me it was always about the first dance. I never thought of the dress, or the ring–in fact I could care less about the ring because I would rather go on more vacations to see the world then worry about a ring. I will admit that I’m fake when I find out someone is engaged and they show me the ring. I always say the same thing” Oh , it’s so beautiful”, but moreso, I ask them how it happened and I get excited about their details and in general happy for the couple. I can remember being a teenager and thinking wouldn’t it be cool if during the first dance, the song would break, and then I would have all these back up dancers to do a full routine! Something to likes of Janet Jackson’s Rhythm nation, or Beyonce’s Crazy in love and the fast forward 10 years later and everybody has stolen my idea!! As the years go on I keep adding songs to the routine and changing them. This routine is going to be an hour and a half at the end of it!..lol My boyfriend and I just started somewhat planning when we want to get married so that’s exciting. I am always watching countless episodes of ” say yes to the dress”, always crying course because I’m a huge sap. But truth be told, I was like that when I was single and just wouldn’t admit it to people because I thought people would either feel sorry for me or just pity me. I know I wasn’t crazy, and I’m SO glad that you’ve brought this up. I’m going to check out all your suggestions for wedding blogs!!! I’m so excited!

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10 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Make sure you check out all the other ones in the comments too…I just started browsing those and they are fabulous!

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11 Brie @ Brie Fit September 17, 2010 at 2:06 pm

I was a wedding/fitness blogger for a long time, and now that I’m an old married hag (okay, we’ve been married four months) it’s just all about fitness. I confess that I still wedding stalk from time to time! And now that I’m married, I’m a total judgmental freak–everything is “but OURS was totally better than that.” Sorry I’m not sorry!

(If you’d like to ogle my wedding porn, here’s our recaps! I loooved our photographer. http://www.brie-fit.com/wedding/)

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12 Elina (Healthy and Sane) September 17, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Awesome. We have so many motivations to do so many things, so if reading wedding blogs on Friday nights makes you feel love and happiness, why not! :D I was never into weddings until my own. And now I love love. It’s just so pure and always positive. :)

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13 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Awww….I love love too!

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14 kate September 17, 2010 at 2:24 pm

two things:

i’ve been reading your blog for about two weeks now, i’ve even printed out how to be wrong about a guy and be ok. (i’m working on being ok) so thanks for the great writing.

have you checked out alec vanderbloom’s gorgeous wedding and engagement photography. swoon.

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15 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm

1. Thank you!!!

2. THANK YOU! Yay more gorgeous things to look at this weekend!

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16 MoneyMaus September 17, 2010 at 2:36 pm

I’m single and only about 2 months ago discovered the world of wedding blogs…and I. Am. HOOKED! Because I am SO excited for that day in my life, when it arrives. :)

My favorites are Wedding Bee (fun stories by ALL sorts of contributing real-life brides plus lots of pictures/ideas), A Practical Wedding & Style Me Pretty. YAY weddings!!!!!

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17 jenna September 17, 2010 at 2:38 pm

I love love love wedding blogs. I used to wait to buy wedding mags until I had to travel somewhere by plane and they were my little treat. The blogs are even better because they are free and have soo many more ideas in them. I really like the Style Me Pretty blog.

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18 Alicia at Poise in Parma September 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm

My not so secret career ambition is to run my own event planning business specializing in wedding planning, so you KNOW I’m in LOVE with this post! My hubby and I will be celebrating our 4th anniversary next week, so I’ve been catching myself glancing thru wedding magazines at the bookstore recently in remembrance of our special day. I love that I now have some blog links to enjoy too!

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19 Liz September 17, 2010 at 2:52 pm

If you loovvvee wedding photography, which I do, check out http://www.josevillablog.com. He is absolutely amazing!

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20 Cynthia (It All Changes) September 17, 2010 at 2:59 pm

I’m married and still read those things sometimes. Just getting ideas for when I renew my vows. How early is too early?

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21 Katie September 17, 2010 at 3:28 pm

This reminds me so much of a Jezebel post from a couple months ago!!
“Wedding obsession turns normally rational woman into crazy stereotype”
http://jezebel.com/5597589/wedding-obsession-turns-normally-rational-woman-into-crazy-stereotype

I don’t love wedding blogs because getting married is the most important thing I, as a woman, will ever do, but because they make me think about what exactly is my personal aesthetic, what would I have at the best party I will (likely) ever throw, inspire creativity in design/color and I love seeing how other people interpret tradition. Offbeat Bride is super fun, and I looove Brooklyn Bride (http://bklynbrideonline.com).

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22 Angela @ A Healthy Fit September 17, 2010 at 3:43 pm

This cracks me up! I was never one of “those girls” either, but now that I’m married I like looking at wedding blogs/pictures to see what other people have done. Since I’m an event planner, I look at some of these blogs for inspiration. One of my fav blogs (although not a wedding one) is Hostess with the Mostess http://www.hostessblog.com/. I found it when I was planning my BFF’s baby shower.

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23 Annabel @ www.FeedMeImCranky.com September 17, 2010 at 3:53 pm

LOVE THIS. I often feel weird for preferring Friday nights at home in sweats watching hours of trashy reality t.v. Then I remember — most people irritate me in real life and i’d much rather have the option to mute them or turn them off with a remote than have to pull a dine and dash in person.
lmao. i’m kidding. sorta.
have a great weekend!

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24 Mary (A Merry Life) September 17, 2010 at 6:51 pm

This comment made me happy. ;)

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25 Anna September 17, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Oh my gosh. I am also obsessed with all things wedding, even though I have never really started thinking about my own. I haven’t gotten into blogs (probably a good thing) but I have been obsessed with magazines since my hairdresser in 2nd grade gave me her old Modern Brides after watching my sister and I pore over the wedding styles in the salon “look books” every time we came in. My best friend across the country once sent me a bridal magazine with comments she had written on the pictures/ads and I had to hide it from my boyfriend so he didn’t freak out haha. Same thing with the stash of magazines at home, conveniently I have an 8 year old sister who loves pretty dresses to dump them on! I figure one day all this backlog of wedding knowledge will come in handy haha :)

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26 kate September 17, 2010 at 4:11 pm

I love wedding blogs. I also spend a considerable amount of time looking through home decorating sites. They make me equally happy and upset that my house doesnt look like an Ikea catalogue…yet.

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27 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm

I do a lot of home decor ones too! Same reason — I love looking at pretty things!

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28 Becca September 17, 2010 at 4:36 pm

I didn’t see this site in a previous comment, but sorry if it’s already been posted:

http://www.weddingbee.com
It’s been my obsession since 2007. When I first started reading it I was more of the “Spartanette” type, and definitely no where near planning a wedding. I quit reading for a while in 2008/09, but I’m back on the bandwagon! I love seeing the wide variety of weddings (destination, courthouse, outdoors, traditional) as well as learning a lot from the bloggers experiences and mistakes.

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29 Mel September 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I’m so happy you posted this. I was never into weddings and this year the wedding bug struck hard. I love the beauty in each wedding and even more, hearing the stories behind a couple…Remember that Crate & Barrel website with couples competing to receive $100,000 towards a dream wedding? OF COURSE I paged (stalked) through those lovely couple’s stories.

Anyway its always nice to have a few more sources for the next girly wedding fest so thank you.

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30 Winch September 17, 2010 at 6:37 pm

I am also not the fantasize-about-my-wedding girl, but am the love-looking-at-pretty-stuff girl, and I happen to enjoy oncewed.com. It introduced me to the wedding barn phenomenon. I now want to own an orchard or vineyard with a lovely old barn and basically just rent the space out for events.

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31 Mary (A Merry Life) September 17, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Okay, I’m totally with you on this one. It didn’t start for me until I was engaged but I’m thoroughly hooked on reading wedding blogs. I love them. I have no idea there was so much prettiness and inspiration out there based on weddings. It’s a whole new world and I LOVE IT. I even started my own wedding blog I got so obsessed. ;)

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32 Mary (A Merry Life) September 17, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Oh yes, and also? I never thought about my wedding before getting engaged. I wasn’t one of those kids who dreamed about it or a teenager who planned it.

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33 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 10:11 pm

You totally nailed it — there is so much inspiration in them!! It totally opened my eyes! :) I love that even us non-wedding-planning girls are converted.

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34 Allison September 17, 2010 at 7:05 pm

Two things:

1) If I still updated my blog, my “Owning It” post would *definitely* include fantasizing about/mentally planning my wedding. I also never gave it a second thought when I was younger, just in the past year or so, as my current relationship gets more serious. I’m not at the point where I actively seek out wedding blogs or magazines, but when I *go* to weddings now, I’m definitely taking mental notes the whole time.

2) I flat out refuse to watch women-only programming because I can’t stand feeling utterly condescended to or demeaned by the ads. One of my favorite assignments in college was freshman year, when we had to watch an hour of Lifetime or Oxygen, then an hour of ESPN or Spike and write a two-page paper comparing the commercials. Totally opened my eyes to the extremely vast (and insulting, slightly disgusting) differences between male- and female-advertising.

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35 Allison September 17, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Also, http://yvonne-wong.com/wedding/

GORGEOUS stuff.

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36 maria @ Chasing the Now September 17, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Nothing wrong with that. I was never really that girl who knew what she really wanted until I got engaged. I mean, yeah, I’d thought about what my dress might look like, but not in that much detail.

I like your posts like this one. Reminds me you are human and not superwoman. ;)

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37 Rachel September 17, 2010 at 10:12 pm

<3

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38 sarah @ syrupandhoney September 17, 2010 at 9:03 pm

I got married two years ago and STILL look at wedding blogs because, like you said, they’re just so beautiful and inspiring. I enjoy the quirky wedding/engagement photos on http://www.rocknrollbride.com/

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39 elaine! September 17, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Ooh, I love wedding photography! Especially the more modern photos that have a kind of photojournalism twist. And portraits, engagement portraits are so cute! Most of the time I just like seeing the beautiful colors and happy people. But sometimes I resent it because I’ll never have a wedding like that. My family… It would be a disaster. So instead I just enjoy the photography and imagine my dream elopement. :)

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40 Amanda September 17, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Oh, I love it! My guilty pleasure is “Say Yes To The Dress,” but I am usually busy when it’s on TV. I definitely plan my wedding in my mind. I haven’t started clipping and making wedding binders yet. Thanks for these links and for making me feel a little less delusional.

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41 Libby September 18, 2010 at 2:53 am

I have a folder on my desktop of pretty images that I’ve downloaded from different wedding websites that reflect the “look” I imagine for my big day. The folder name is “stuff.”

There’s a reason they call it wedding porn!

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42 Kate Pietkiewicz September 18, 2010 at 3:21 pm

If you like reading wedding blogs, like I LOVE doing, you should really check out Elysium productions blog, they make the MOST AMAZING wedding videos I have ever seen. The address is http://www.elysiumblog.com, check it out if you havent already!

Kate

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43 Rachel September 18, 2010 at 3:58 pm

THANK YOU! Checking it now!!

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44 Alyssa September 20, 2010 at 7:57 am

Hi Rachel!

I love your blog and read it alllll the time (especially when I’m bored at work…oops). Anyways I was exactly like you, I never ever thought about my wedding growing up. I just didn’t bother. But now that I’m 23 and so many of my friends are currently engaged or married, I also have started looking at things. I have been with my boyfriend for a few years and we’ve been talking about getting married within the next few years. So I’m not completely fantasizing, just being practical right?? I even got my mother into it, she’s already started look at bridal magazines for me and picking out colors for my future bridesmaid dresses haha. Anyways, this post definitely hit home and I’m glad you enjoy looking at those kind of things too!

–Alyssa

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45 Secondhand Smash September 20, 2010 at 8:56 am

I love all things wedding. And I love you admitted to this and owned it. :) Makes me like you even more than I already did.

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46 Emily September 22, 2010 at 9:29 am

I have my first “Owning it”– I my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 years, We are high school sweethearts, we are in love and very happy. I know people think that its weird that I have only seriously dated one guy and that I have only slept with one person, but ya know what? I am sick and tired of apologizing for being happy for the past 8 years. Sorry I am not sorry! I am not some religious freak. I am a normal person, who was lucky enough to find the right guy early on. When people find out how long we have been dating, they treat me like I am some weirdo. WTF PEOPLE!

And we are NOT getting married any time soon. I am in Grad school and we are waiting to the right time, sorry to all the friends and relatives who keep saying “wouldn’t this summer be nice”.. No, it wouldn’t people. My thesis is due then. Sorry I am not sorry!

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47 Rachel September 23, 2010 at 10:32 am

Emily — Welcome to the “owning it” club!! I think it’s great that you are going to stop apologizing for being happy and in love. SERIOUSLY! So great!! :)

And do your wedding when you want! If they don’t like it, they can STFU!

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48 Kim September 23, 2010 at 10:31 am

I’m newly engaged and have never been the type to try and plan my wedding since I was 2, but I am loving looking at these blogs now. And not even because I need to (eventually) plan mine, but because they are guilty guilty fun. So, thanks for this inspiration of procrastination.

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