If you are the type to frequently place orders on Amazon, so frequently, in fact, that they have all your mailing info stored…then I beg you, please, remember to update your preferred mailing address when you place your first order after your cross-country move.
Otherwise, certain books will be sent to your family’s home in Michigan.
You know, the worst part of this was not the fact that, after I was like, “What the hell, two-day shipping?!” and tracked the package, I had to call my mom and casually ask if anything had come in the mail for me and casually tell her five times not to open it, but please just toss it straight in the box with the other things she was sending me.
No, the worst part was that my mother has her hands full as a teacher and, well, a mom, and did not get around to sending the package — which also included the pants I asked her to hem on my birthday in August, that have never been worn and now may be too big and I’m not sure if I’m happy or annoyed — until last week…meaning I have spent the past four weeks thinking, Goddamnit, I know there are like 300 positions just waiting for me to try them and I don’t know what they are!!!! I want my freaking book!!!!
But now that it’s here, the wheels are turning.
Do you think I could go “Julie & Julia” on this book and get it made into my own book/movie?
Or perhaps I should just start working on a sex book of my own, which I shall call What’s Your Favorite Posish? The Clumsy, Often Lazy, but Sometimes Motivated to Put on Heels and Thigh Highs Girl’s Kama Sutra.
Anyway. That’s my Hump Day Treat.