Lesson #37: How to Make Breakfast When You Want to be Easy Like Sunday Morning

by Rachel on October 16, 2010

Do you like my biscuits?

This morning, I’d like to show you what to make when there is another human being in your bed — a human being you may not want to shove out the door right away.

I know you guys well enough to know that doesn’t happen too often, but hey, it happened to me. It’s like one day you’re telling someone, “Um, yeah…I don’t really…cuddle…” and the next, you’re hoping he will stick around because you like listening to him talk so much, you’ll even be the little spoon while he does it. You’ll want to trick him or her into staying with promises of really delicious food and, trust me, this love shit happens fast, so you’ll want to have a recipe bookmarked just for that purpose.

This is that recipe.

It comes from The Joy of Cooking and it is totally meant to follow the joy of sex.

First, the biscuits!

While your friend is still sleeping, preheat the oven to 450 degrees. And brush your teeth. Then combine 1 and 3/4 cups all purpose flour, 1 tablespoon of baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Cut 5 tablespoons of butter into small chunks and them mix them into the dry ingredients with your hands, until the texture is like that of small peas. Punch a well in your dry ingredients and add 3/4 cup of milk.

(Note: I made this recipe using half-and-half instead of milk plus a tablespoon of sugar to make fluffier biscuits. If you can go that route, I highly recommend it. But if you weren’t expecting to have company and all you have is milk, that’s fine too.)

Stir the dough a few times until it coems away from the sides of the bowl and then turn it out onto a lightly floured surfaced.

Knead it gently and quickly 8 to 10 times to get a nice smooth ball of dough.

Got your rolling pin ready? It’s time to put it into action! Roll your dough so it’s about 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick.

Then use a small biscuit cutter to punch out your biscuits. You should be able to get about 24 little biscuits out of it.

Brush them with a little melted butter and pop them in the oven for just ten minutes!

While they are cooking do not go back in the bedroom. First of all, if you get distracted and overcook your biscuits, you’ll regret it. (My first batch, I followed the directions and cooked them for 12 minutes and they were totally like dog treats.) Second, you don’t have time for round two because you need to get onto the gravy!

You guys know that the morning after, I like a hearty breakfast, and, sorry to the vegetarians out there, but when I have a bangover, I want meat. Like, sausage. Yeah, even if I had it the night before. So this sausage gravy is absolute perfection.

(And there’s hot grease involved, so I do recommend you wear clothes for this one.)

Heat a non-stick pan and add 8 ounces of ground sausage. When it’s browned, remove it using a slotted spoon and put it on a paper towel-lined plate. You want about two tablespoons of drippings in the pan, but my sausage was way too lean for that, so I had to add butter. In either case, you want about two tablespoons of fat in the pan. Once you’re there, add 2 tablespoons of white flour and whisk until it’s smooth. Keep whisking and add 2 cups of milk. Bring it to a simmer and keep on whisking for the next five minutes until it gets thick.

When the gravy is thick, add 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of black pepper, and 2 dashes of hot sauce if you’re feeling spicy. (I’m always feeling spicy, but unfortunately, my boyfriend is not a huge fan.) Then fold the sausage back in.

Pour the gravy over your little biscuits and serve it up!

It’s the perfect breakfast for the morning after. It’s satisfying (though you’ve already been satisfied), filling (though you’ve already been filled), and easy (and I think you know a thing or two about easy) — and more important, it’s going to refuel your stores since you (hopefully?!) used up a lot of energy the night before.

After I made this, I was like, This is amazing! This is totally going to be my biscuits and gravy recipe for the rest of my life! Some day, my grandchildren will know this as grandma’s biscuits and gravy!

Then I realized this is a recipe for post-sex biscuits and gravy, so it shall be my biscuits and gravy recipe for the rest of my life…so long as Viagra allows it. And, actually, my grandchildren do not need to know anything about that.

{ 27 comments }

1 NiftyEats October 16, 2010 at 11:17 am

Delicious!!
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2 cyndie October 16, 2010 at 11:27 am

omg, I just found your blog recently. I absolutely love your sense of humor. there needs to be more blogs like yours ;)
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3 Heather October 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Hmm… I know someone who visits my bed sometimes and who LOVES biscuits and gravy. Thanks for another kitchen idea, friend! We both know I can use all the help I can get!

4 Alicia at Poise in Parma October 16, 2010 at 2:06 pm

I love you more and more each day. I’m going to have to de-gluten a few things, but I am SO all over this one. Makes me think of Sunday morning brunches at Bob Evans.

As for sharing it with your grandchildren, perhaps it’s a that thing you share with your granddaughter on her wedding day – knowing that she can make them the next morning!
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5 MelissaNibbles October 16, 2010 at 4:11 pm

It’s the new egg mcmuffin.
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6 Stephanie @ Single in the City October 16, 2010 at 4:59 pm

I love biscuits and gravy, but my gravy usually turns out to be the consistency of mortar! I’ll be trying your recipe this week.

RE: bangover. You, Rachel, crack me up!!!
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7 Smash @ Appreciate The Now October 16, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Y-U-M. You know the way to a Southern’s heart.
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8 Tenecia October 16, 2010 at 8:16 pm

*tiptoes out of Lurkville*

“…but when I have a bangover, I want meat. ” BEST LINE EVER!!!

*sprints back to Lurkville*

9 Rachel October 16, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Literal LOL at that. Please come out of Lurkville more often!

10 Manon October 16, 2010 at 9:29 pm

I need to find someone to bang so I can make this……or make HIM make it…….or I could just make it and not have to worry about the shit show that always ensues when I bang a boy and he falls in love. But banging seems like a fantastic idea. I need a magic 8 ball to figure out what to do now. Thanks Rachel.
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11 Ashley October 16, 2010 at 10:41 pm

That looks awesome and perfect for when we have guests so I can prove I’m really becoming Southern.
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12 crunchy granola gal October 17, 2010 at 7:32 am

recently discovered your blog and am loving it. bangover? no cuddles? fabulous.

i type this two feet away from my sleeping boyfriend who would love this recipe. alas, yoga calls (err, in three hours) so he ain’t getting that lucky (foodwise and in other arenas) this morning, but i may have to try this some other time. he likes the meat. and i mean that literally, hopefully not figuratively?

um, okay, gonna stop now.
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13 Lori October 17, 2010 at 9:21 am

Yep. Going to make these bad boys this morning for brunch for my man and me. Cuz he was a very bad boy himself last night.

14 Geneviève October 17, 2010 at 10:17 am

Biscuits, gravy and meat are three of my BF’s favourite things. This is definitely what is he getting next time he visits!! Thanks for sharing!

15 Bridget@PavementandPlants October 17, 2010 at 6:51 pm

I would just like to let everyone know that these are just as good if you make them for yourself and the only friend in your bed is a battery operated devise.

16 Bridget@PavementandPlants October 17, 2010 at 6:53 pm

*device

17 Jasmine @ Eat Move Write October 17, 2010 at 10:45 pm

I cannot believe you had the energy to make biscuits from scratch after a bangover. Give it five years, girlfriend. By then, you’ll be laying there going, honey, go scramble me up some eggs. :p

The biscuits look so yummy.
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18 Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat) October 17, 2010 at 10:52 pm

YUM!!!! I made biscuits and gravy this morning but I didn’t think to add hot sauce. YUM!
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19 Kristine October 18, 2010 at 7:17 am

Why does your food always look so delicious, and why are you so gorgeous? I absolutely LOVE your blog. You are hilarious and inspirational all at the same time. Quit being so awesome! :) :)

20 Rachel October 18, 2010 at 9:45 am

Umm…thanks for making my Monday morning!! :)

21 Lori October 18, 2010 at 9:22 am

Tested the gravy. It was AMAZING. We always have had to use those packets, but this gravy recipe knocked my socks off.

I was too lazy to do the biscuits, so Smart Bisquick came to the rescue. Eh, let’s face it. They serve as the vehicle for gobs of sausagey goodness anyway.
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22 Rachel October 18, 2010 at 9:44 am

We’ve upgraded from gravy packets?! HELL YEAH.

In all honesty, I thought about not making the biscuits from scratch, so I am definitely not judging. You’re so right — they are just a gravy delivery system.

23 Stephanie October 18, 2010 at 9:45 pm

I had to make this recipe! It was so yummy :) I swear last night I was going through your blog & bookmarking a ton of recipes.

I made enough of the biscuits & gravy so that I could have it tomorrow morning when I am hopefully suffering from a bangover, lol.

24 Stephanie @ Single in the City October 22, 2010 at 10:44 am

I came back to write down your recipe and am off to make it NOW! Unfortunately, it’s not post-bangover, but a girl needs to eat!
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25 Stephanie @ Single in the City October 22, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Oh My YUMMM!!! Great recipe and just what I was looking for in a comforting breakfast for a sickly me. The recipe has already found a home in my recipe box. I also cheated and used biscuits in a tube, but they came out perfectly golden brown light, flaky clouds of heaven. Had I tried to make them from scratch, I would have been able to break windows with ‘em, and that would have pissed me off!
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26 Megan H November 26, 2010 at 10:49 pm

Mmm I bookmarked these and am making them tomorrow morning! :)
Using sausage leftover from my apple/sausage Thankgiving stuffing. Can’t wait!
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27 Megan H November 28, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Made ‘em yesterday – utterly AMAZING! I only got around 8 medium-sized biscuits from the biscuit recipe, but that was perfect.
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