As much as I love fall, I face a serious annoyance this time of year. I’m all pumped to do wonderful fall-like things bright and early every Saturday morning…and yet I have no one to do them with.
This past Saturday morning, I said a groggy good-bye to Eric at 6 AM as he left to go drive three hours to tailgate and watch a football game. And Saturday night, I texted him to make sure he was doing OK after his team lost. I know how he gets.
I’m the only person I know who doesn’t get into college sports. Sorry I’m not sorry.
It’s not that I don’t like sports. I like to play sports. I like the idea of sports. But I cannot get into sports, and here is why.
I simply have no interest in televised sports. I don’t watch that much TV anyway and watching sports on TV is the worst. The fact is, no televised sport can keep my attention. Watching takes too much effort. If I’m going to sit and stare at a screen for three hours, it’s going to be a laptop screen, and I’m going to be writing.
Along those same lines, I can’t “just leave it on in the background” because I hate sports commentary more than pretty much anything. Who thought it was a good idea to take the most obnoxious, know-it-all douche bags on the planet and hand them microphones? Sportscasters are the worst. Whether they are washed-up athletes or bitter never-made-it-wannabe athletes, they all just love to hear the sound of their own voices ripping on the players and the coaches. And don’t even get me started on the asinine, sexist commercials at every time-out. Gee, Axe Body Spray…no thanks.
I don’t like watching sports in bars because I talk too much. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m pretty loquacious. I’ve owned it. I’m not going to choose to go into a setting where every time I’m in the middle of a story, suddenly everyone is standing up and screaming. I like the social aspect of sports in theory — an excuse to go to the bar and hang out with friends — but more often than not, it’s just a big shouting match and no good socializing really happens.
I’m mostly interested in live sports if a cute outfit, a cute date, good drank, or good weather is involved. I love watching baseball live, because it’s so slow. It’s the perfect way to enjoy good weather and good company, but not have to have your eyes glued to the action the entire time. I liked going to date party sporting events in college, because I liked wearing a long jersey over leggings with heels and drinking heavily. By then, I was too hammered to have a problem with talking too much, so watching the game was fine. And if you’re on a date, generally, getting interrupted by the action is a good thing; then there are no awkward lulls in conversation. Not that I ever experience lulls in conversation.
I have a serious aversion to high fives. I had an awkward high five experience once in high school. It was so terribly awkward, I can’t even tell the story. (Seriously. It’s like Michael Scott and Jim & Pam’s wedding on “The Office”…times a thousand.) What do people do when they are watching sports together? They high five. They fist bump. They chest bump. I can’t handle it. I have to sit on my hands so no one gets too excited and thrusts a hand in my face, shouting, “UP TOP!” It’s too traumatic.
Yes, I like tailgate. Of course I like tailgate. I like anything that’s a good excuse to eat and drink and be social. I can get into Christmas even though I don’t really believe in the little baby Jesus and I can totally host a Super Bowl party with no opinion on who I’m rooting for. So I like any excuse to make really yummy appetizers — sue me. Anyway, if I’m going to be around that many high five opportunities, I have to tailgate. Without some sort of booze in my system, I’d have a total meltdown.
I’m not passionate about any teams. Yes, I went to Michigan State University. Yes, I love the Spartans and I truly care whether or not we beat U of M, because I hate U of M, for reasons that don’t really relate to sports. (See also: your student body is way too unattractive and lame to be so pretentious.) But I just can’t get so into what MSU — or any team for that matter — does that I’m willing to give up my Saturday for it. I wish I could say that being a girl is an excuse, but it’s not. Most of my closest girl friends love Michigan State sports and when I ask them what they are up to at any given time, “going to the bar to watch the game” is always on the agenda. During football season I can usually assume what game it is, but after that, I generally have no idea.
I know it would make guys think I’m cooler. Yeah, yeah, I know. Guys want a laid-back girl who gets into sports. Well, I’m not that girl. I don’t care if a guy loves sports, and I won’t try and stop him from being passionate about it, but I’ll be honest: pretty much the only time I’m going to be anywhere near a sporting event is if I’m cooking something delicious for the watch party. Eric loves Kansas State sports and we just have an understanding about it. I don’t roll my eyes when he’s depressed after a game, and he doesn’t roll his eyes when I say, “Have fun at the bar! I’ll just be here watching ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ and baking cookies.” I know he’d like it if I was into it. But you know what? There are a lot of things guys are going to want you to be into throughout your life, and you don’t have to buy into every one. If you start watching sports to seem like the cool chick, even though it makes you feel dead inside, good luck rejecting his butt sex advances. I’m just saying.
I do actually know what’s going on. Not all the time with football, but I know the rules of basketball, baseball, soccer, tennis, and hockey. It’s not that I don’t know what’s going on. It’s that I don’t care.
It’s ruining my goddamn mini-feed and Twitter. Football Saturday is the perfect excuse for people who never have anything interesting or relevant to say any other day of the week to start feeling like they just have so much they need to share. I wish people could be banned from only updating their statuses with nothing more than a “Go team!” Facebook and Twitter are for sharing information, particularly new information. How would you feel if you logged onto Facebook today and saw 40 different variations on, “The sky is blue!”? (“THE SKY IS STILL BLUE!” “GO GET ‘EM SKY! You’re going to be SO BLUE TODAY!” “CHEERING ON THE SKY BECAUSE IT’S SO BLUE.” “DID YOU SEE HOW BLUE THE SKY WAS IN THE LAST TWO MINUTES?!?!?”)
I’m sick of people assuming I know or care about college sports. When people — especially semi-strangers, because my friends at this point know better — reference “that game this weekend” and look at me expectantly, I just have a blank expression on my face. Just because I went to Michigan State or live in a city with a pro team doesn’t mean I know a thing about “that game this weekend.” If you drop a player’s name, and I don’t who you’re talking about, don’t judge me. No, I can’t name the MSU starting line-up or the cast of “Jersey Shore.” Forgive me for being so out of touch.
The funny thing is, the one thing that’s making me slightly more interested in sports has been watching Friday Night Lights. (We finished the first season last night! Wheeee!!) I’ve learned a lot more about football that way, and, well, I’m not subjected to three hours straight of obnoxious commentary and immature commercials. If I could connect with a real team in the same way I’ve connected with the Dillon Panthers, then maybe I’d want to watch all their games. But in real life, to me, football is just a bunch of anonymous dudes in tight pants slamming into each other. If I’m going to subject myself to that sort of thing, it’s going to be with my friend David at a gay bar.
I’m hoping that by this spring, I’ll be able to get into the NCAA basketball tournament since MSU and Kansas State are ranked #2 and #3 (thanks to my super-pro-Spartan girlfriend Lauren for e-mailing me that the other day, if only so I could talk shit to Eric). But I make no promises.
I’m passionate about a lot of things, but sports isn’t one of them. Sorry I’m not sorry. This doesn’t make me less of a Spartan or less of a person. I’ve owned it and I’m over it — I wish everyone else could be too.
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
This is SO cute and I’m glad you’ve owned it. I think too many girls out there try TOO HARD to be into sports when they really aren’t. It’s okay not to be into them. And for the love of my sanity, don’t be a bandwagon/fair-weather fan either.
Smash @ Appreciate The Now´s last post ..In The Stands- Under The Stars
Seriously, there is nothing more annoying than the girls who try too hard. Not to go all middle school, but the word “poser” comes to mind.
I’m with you on all of it. I have zero interest in college sports.
Dori´s last post ..How I Fought a Cold in One Day
Haha I’m kind of the complete opposite of you on this matter, but you make some really good points. If I were a stranger looking at myself watch football, I’d totally make fun of that chick. The high fives especially!
Eunice´s last post ..Project EHC Meets Project Tasteless
They sell shirts during Gator gamedays from a tequila bar called 101 Cantina that say “I tailgate for (or with) tequila” I should totally pick one up for you!
ahhh that’s perfect!
I grew up near the University of Tennessee where people are rabid sports fans and orange and white (the most disgusting college colors ever) are plastered all over everything. They even changed the area code to 865 which spells (VOL). My dept (anthropology) was IN the stadium and I still never went to a single game. I used to pay $150 every semester for a parking pass but they sold the spaces on game days so I had to walk an extra mile or so and was often late to class. You can’t go anywhere near downtown on game days here. Casual Fridays in every office are “wear orange and white” days in the fall.
The only sport I’ve gotten into is Hockey and that has only been in the past 3 years or so. It’s a semi-pro team called the Ice Bears that play here 2 or 3 times a week from October thru March. It’s very fast-paced, there are hot sweaty men and I suppose the occasional fights bring out my inner redneck. But do I own any of their merchandise? No.Do I ever post about them on my facebook? No. Do I even know the rules of the game besides if the black heavy thing gets into the net, that means “Score!”. Nope.
I’m totally with you on not faking an interest to please a guy. Screw that.
Bwahahaha! I love it! I was vigorously nodding my head the entire time I was reading this. YES. A couple weekends ago, we were visiting family and my Sis-in-law’s fiancee would do the background sports thing and I just about wanted to strangle him or the tv by the end of the weekend. The best part is that he’d try to talk sports w/ my Huz who knows sports but doesn’t follow b/c we don’t have cable and he isn’t passionate and it would totally be a one-sided convo. Go figure, the guy is from Texas.
Oh, and I feel the same way about my college. I love the Cougs and I like it when they beat the Huskies but other than that, I don’t give a damn.
Loved this post. I am completely there with you, and I am an MSU grad as well. So I’m with you on the U of M student body ;-)
Moving to Australia has been weird because the country is SO obsessed with sports. I mean, they put America to shame when it comes to sports madness. And they kick everyone’s ass in the Commonwealth Games and Olympics. Yet…they don’t have sports teams in schools. Not in primary school, high school or university. How do they do it?
Anyway, I’m way off topic. I was nodding my head through this whole post. Difference is….no one has ever expected me to like sports ;-)
Ha! I don’t always agree with everything you write (and thats ok) but I’m with you on this one. Sometimes I even forget I’m not into sports and let myself get excited by the hype coming up to a big game. Then I get to the bar, start enjoying myself socializing….and get told to hush by someone because the game is on. Grrrr! So I sit there quietly and try to be interested, but really I could get into it more if each game last ten action-packed minutes.
HAHAHA I couldn’t agree with you more! I totally go to Superbowl parties/all sporting parties JUST for the food, drinks and social aspect, and really could care less about what’s going on in the background. I have to admit: I’ve grown to enjoy watching the Celtics / Sox games in Boston but that’s just ’cause I live in Boston…and again the social aspect. Whenever I try to “watch” sports with my dad he tells me to lower my voice and “down in front” because I’m always standing up to get snacks or bring more food to the table. So at least you love baking and cooking Rachel…you can make it more like a tasting event : )
Rachel´s last post ..My Cappuccino & Gelato Lunch- No Regrets
This makes me so thankful I married a man who could care less. Although, all day yesterday I heard the niners game on in the background while I baked off in the kitchen. I secretly think he only watches certain games just so he’ll have a conversation starter with my dad, because otherwise he’s usually bounding off with me to Target on the weekends. I know, if it wasn’t for his obsession with engines and his complete lack of style, he’d totally be able to pull of gay.
Agreed with the mini-feed/Twitter thing. I just about throttled the computer screen on Saturday night when the Giants won. I live in Northern California and apparently that qualifies you to be completely over the moon about SanFran teams. I’m actually considering de-friending some people simply because they always have something bonerhead to say about sports. If it was intelligent commentary, fine. But usually it’s all that “The sky is blue” crap you’re talking about ….
Love this post….despite the fact I’m the opposite of you :) There isn’t much I get annoyed more by than bandwagon fans, and stupid girls pretending to like sports because they think guys will like them better. I’m ‘that girl’ who loves it so much I’ve dumped otherwise amazing boyfriends because they couldn’t get over the fact that yes, I’m going to spend fall Saturdays watching College Football. You don’t have to like it too, you don’t have to come with me. But if you’re going to whine like a little bitch because your girlfriend is at a football game with your friends, it’s not going to work out. AND, my Facebook status is more than likely going to say “GO HAWKS!!” on Saturday, because that’s “what’s on my mind”. Sorry, I’m not sorry.
Manon´s last post ..Project Tasteless- The Kitchen DISASTER
“Yes, I went to Michigan State University. Yes, I love the Spartans and I truly care whether or not we beat U of M, because I hate U of M, for reasons that don’t really relate to sports. (See also: your student body is way too unattractive and lame to be so pretentious.) But I just can’t get so into what MSU — or any team for that matter — does that I’m willing to give up my Saturday for it.”
THIS. SO MUCH. I’m not a girl who drinks beer and watches sports. I like dresses and thrifting and romance novels. I’ll never be “one of the guys.” (Unless the guys are gay.) I’ve owned it.
Growing up in EL, you know I can relate to this, though my college did not have a lot of rabid sports fans…I mean, I went to school in New Orleans (and let’s just say there were a lot more fun things to do than watch college sports).
I am definitely finding the weekend newsfeeds the most obnoxious…I mean, I get the MSU U of M game but every weekend, the two teams don’t square off. And quote me if I’m wrong (which is highly likely) but doesn’t basketball season start right after football season?
The only sport I turn into a rabid fan for is men’s professional tennis, but I will only shush people if Rafael Nadal (aka my future husband) is playing.
Bess´s last post ..Wrapper’s Delight
I couldn’t agree more. I have tried, for the sake of my husband to be more into sports. I have found that while I do love baseball, I can’t understand football, and really don’t want too, either. I love March Madness, but only because I like filling out my brackets and Oral Roberts is a funny name for a school. I refuse to be one of those girls that tries too hard. And that’s just how it is going to be.
Also, I am totally with you on the Dillon Panthers. #33 Tim Riggins for life!
I used to not care about sports, but honestly, seeing how passionate my hubby is about sports, especially NFL (less with college), made me take an interest. The fact that he loves my interest makes me want to like it even more.
Jasmine @ Eat Move Write´s last post ..Naked Cooking Fail
ugh college sports.
Why is that when I first introduce myself to someone and tell them I go to UT they automatically respond referncing a Texas game? What about asking me what I’m studying instead?
I did not go to UT for the football… but I have met plenty others who did.
Carolyn @ texaseats´s last post ..Cinnamon Roll Dessert Undressed PT Challenge 1
go blue! :)
sorry, I had to.
LOL. I am not really into sports either, but I have to support my Bama team ;)
I think of watching sports as an excuse to make a burger and drink beer. Is that wrong?
Matt´s last post ..Apparently I Am Sexy
I completely agree with you about the televised sports such as baseball and basketball. Very boring to watch, but fun live when you can eat, drink and chat! I probably would hate myself during football season. I live next door to WVU’s football stadium and the excited atmosphere is contagious so I find myself sporting Blue and Gold pretty much every weekend. Other than that is is so much easier to root for a pro-football team because they don’t get a whole new set of players. I love the Pittsburgh Steelers with all my heart, but I also feel as if I “know” the players. Kinda like you feel about Friday Night Lights Panthers (which I also love)!
I’m with you 100%. I hate watching sports. I’d rather go do something physical than watch people doing something on tv. And I live in a ridiculous college sports area. So everywhere you go, it’s all people want to talk about. Especially when you’re out shopping. It’s idle conversation that will appeal to everyone, so they think. Until I tell them I don’t watch it. And then it gets awkward for them…
angela´s last post ..YES!!
I hate those bitches who are “laid back and into sports.” Posers designed to make the rest of us look bad. :)
Rachel, You’re awesome. I loved this post!
“I’m mostly interested in live sports if a cute outfit, a cute date, good drank, or good weather is involved.”- HAHA couldn’t have said it better myself. I live in Boston can’t get more into sports then this damn city and I do not pretend to like them or be interested in them at ALL unless like you said a cute outfit can be worn and drinking can be done…totally a social activity to me :)
See … I actually really love sports. I’m constantly frustrated that because I’m a girl, guys don’t take my opinion about the game seriously, AND all the girls at the bar/party assume that I don’t care, and want to talk to them. Sorry, I don’t. I want to watch the game.
Guess I’m owning the other side of this story :)
LC´s last post ..Arugula Pesto Pasta
thank you! i hate that my opinion on sports never gets taken seriously because i’m a girl.
Freaking.Hilarious. This is EXACTLY how I feel about college sports (well…just sports in general I guess)
AMEN.
I hate sports. Hate. Hate. Hate. I used to pretend, but now I don’t even bother. I can have a conversation about them because my last boyfriend was OBSESSED and I had to at least half listen, but everytime I have to talk about sports or watch them on TV, I die a little inside. There really is nothing worse. Except for pink hats. A pathetic attempt to get girls “involved” by making pink hats with sports logos. GIVE ME A BREAK.
Stephanie @ The Cookie Battle´s last post ..Weekend Highlights
So, I happen to love college football (that’s pretty much it…the Pros are a yawn and I too only go to Superbowl parties for the food). But my boyfriend is CLUELESS when it comes to that! It’s a little hilarious and kind of adorable and, yes, sometimes frustrating. But it’s kind of better because he doesn’t trash talk me (he graduated from UGA and I’m at Auburn..big rivals). But at the end of the day, neither of us will ever change and we can deal with that. Besides, he’s always been a soccer player, so he definitely looks like an athlete and that’s good enough for me. My bet is your boyfriend would rather you BE sexy and athletic than give a damn about sports on TV. :) LOVED this post!
P.S. the sportscasters are the worst part of any of it–totally agree.
I love going to sports bars (EVERYTIME I write or say sports bars, it comes out sports bras, anyone else have this problem?!) for the fact that I can wear a tshirt and sneakers. Same thing with going on a date to sporting event.
I was walking home from work tonight by the Boston Garden, there are tons of people out and Bruins decals being projected on the Garden, so I figure Bruins game (C’s are playing tomorrow). There are limos everywhere and girls decked out in heels and little tank tops with spandex. 60 is warm in Boston in October, but not that warm. My first thought was these girls are going to freeze to death at an ICE hockey game. I immediately thought of this post and told myself “these girls are owning it” just because it’s not my style for a hockey game it’s cool.
Then I saw a man hocking shirts for Monster Jam (a rap concert hosted by an area radio show). So these girls were appropiatly dressed.
Totally feel you. I live in Columbus, OH and HATE the OSU F*ckeyes. You would think that the entire world lives and breathes on them. I don’t get it at all.
Just found your blog and LOVE it. You had me at “Am I the only one that doesn’t get into college sports?” My answer is HELL NO- You are not! I can’t stand the sound of sports commentary or the loud buzzers at football games playing through the TV. Ick. Once I realized I was into girls *not boys* I was so happy that I didn’t have to deal with Football Sundays (and saturdays, and mondays) anymore. :) One of the best things about being a lesbian is dating someone that hates watching sports. :)
Aaaaaahhh, this made me smile. You know me well enough to know that I in fact love sports, but always love to hear the other side/differing opinions. The way you feel about sports is the way I feel about fashion.
When I was in college our football team was shitty (oh wait, we still are). In spite of that, we were a top party school, so it didn’t matter how bad we were, football was going to be watched & alcohol & greenage would be consumed.
I try & keep my foodie side Twitter away from my “s#$t talking sport side”, for I save that for Facebook.
I once had a guy ask me out for SuperBowl Sunday. He didn’t realize it was THE SUPER BOWL that Sunday, so you can guess what happened. I own it that I judge a guy on how into sports he is, it’s just something that matters to me….
FoodCents´s last post ..FRIDAY FREAK…
Reading some of your old blog posts and OMG Friday Night Lights is amazing. Are you still watching? I didn’t give a shit about football until I started watching and learned to be super invested in a fictional high school football team. Seriously, one of the best shows ever.
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