The Naughty & Nice Weekend

by Rachel on December 6, 2010

Naughty: I wore the dress.

Nice: With Sally Hansen Lavender Cloud peeking out of black peep-toe heels, a nude ruffled bag, my gold reindeer necklace, rather un-dramatic smoky eyes, and my date in pink, the overall effect was surprisingly nice. And the Spanx did wonders.

Eric’s reactions to the dress?

Nice:

Naughty:

Nice: Turns out, Eric’s boss and his wife are from Michigan! I immediately felt like I had found my people. Later I asked Eric if it was weird that I wanted to be friends with his boss’s wife, even though she’s older than I am, has two kids, and works for her church. I just felt like we had a bond.

Naughty: They invited us to go to go to a bar after hanging out at the party for a little while. The group’s conversation was so outrageous and funny — it all started when his hilarious lesbian co-worker began telling us how she teaches men how to please women by drawing a diagram — and we just cracked up the entire time.

Nice: Eric’s boss’s wife came up to me as Eric was closing our tab and asked me if I really had to work the next morning or if we were just offended by the bawdy conversation. I love when people do this (it happens more than you’d think!). I need to find a tactful way to say, “Oh, you have no idea how filthy my mind is.”

Naughty: While that conversation was taking place, Eric was getting chatted up by a toothless older woman. What is it about him that brings all the MILF-wannabes to the yard?!

Nice: I loved my dress and heels but I sometimes think the best part about dressing up is getting home and putting on your comfy clothes (especially with your hair and make-up still done). I put on my new plaid boxers and got under the covers.

And then strongly suggested Eric make me a sandwich.

Naughty: I cannot sleep when I’ve been drinking. I tossed and turned and woke up way too early, feeling like crap.

Nice: I convinced Eric to go out for breakfast…

Naughty: …and then we had a ridiculous argument about where to go to eat. When you find yourself sighing, “No…it’s fine. We can try the diner. I mean, I really wanted a bagel this morning, but it’s cool…” and your boyfriend snaps back “Fine! We’ll just go to FUCKING PANERA!” to which you respond, “Why did we even come out for breakfast? Let’s just forget it. I’ll just drive through McDonald’s or something and you can just eat cereal at home”….you know that everyone just needs to go back to bed.

Nice: The food at the diner we ended up trying for the first time was delicious and coffee really helped the situation.

Naughty: Right after breakfast, I had to pick up decorations for the photo studio and then head right in to work because we were hosting a holiday party.

Nice: Despite not exactly being in the mood for this, running around getting ready for the party actually zapped my hangover before the party even began. It went by quickly and then I was able to put on my yoga pants and go back to Eric’s place for a chill night in.

Naughty: I celebrated making it through the long day by watching the recent episode of South Park involving Food Network and the Shake Weight. I love that show, but this episode was a particular type of gem. Oh and from here on out, HJs shall be known as “an Old-Fashioned.” Seriously, even if you don’t normally watch South Park, find this episode OnDemand or watch it online in a couple weeks. It was so funny!

Nice: Made spaghetti for dinner.

Naughty: Had waffles and bacon with — spiked! — egg nog for breakfast Sunday morning.

Nice: Spent most of the day catching up on work, e-mails, and holiday shizz. (My Christmas cards are designed and ordered!)

Naughty: Spent a good hour reading “Cosmo” and starting conversations that went along the lines of, “Question. Do you…want to put your dick in my armpit?” based on the “60 Things You Can Do to Him Without Using Your Hands” article.

Nice or Naughty? After the breakfast meltdown on Saturday, when he was strictly anti-Panera, Eric said last night, “I’m not trying to start shit, but I could really go for Panera right now.”

How was your weekend? Naughty or nice??

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 MelissaNibbles December 6, 2010 at 9:33 am

The party sounds like a lot of fun. You should befriend the boss’s wife. I bet she’s more fun than you think.
My weekend was nice I guess. We went out to dinner then came home and watched a documentary about pimps on Netflix. I fell asleep after 20 minutes. I haven’t had a naughty weekend or even a naughty night in about three months, so there’s that…

Reply

2 Rachel December 6, 2010 at 5:58 pm

What was the documentary about pimps??!

Reply

3 Allison December 6, 2010 at 10:06 am

Love your blog! Especially all of your posts about “owning it”. I blog for The Real Post Grad, and I’ve found that after graduating college, owning it is pretty much the only way to survive and be happy :). Also, that’s awesome you live in Houston! I have family that live right outside the city and have been down to visit a bunch. Thanks for the always entertaining posts!

Reply

4 Rachel December 6, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Heyyy nice to “meet” you! Excited to check out your blog too!!

Reply

5 Angela December 6, 2010 at 11:09 am

So what was his answer to the armpit question? LOL

Weekend was pretty good – rested all day Saturday to fight off Creeping Crud. Spent yesterday in a Raw Foods (Un)Cooking class and it was awesome!

Reply

6 Rachel December 6, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Eric is pretty sarcastic so he’ll often answer a question like that in the affirmative but then he’ll take it a step further, just to be funny. In this case, though, the answer was a simple, “No fucking way.”

Reply

7 Smash @ Appreciate The Now December 6, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Love this naughty/nice recap — fun weekend despite a drunken argument. :)

Reply

8 Allie Finch December 6, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Nice — very nice.
I love this naughty-nice layout. Sounds like a well-rounded weekend. ;) So…did he…? You know, in the armpit? :D

Reply

9 Rachel December 6, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Oh, God no, Allie. That shit is bananas.

Reply

10 Cyndie December 6, 2010 at 3:31 pm

hahaha nice.

I hate stupid arguments like that. Of course I always get into stupid arguments BEFORE we go eat because I get so effing grumpy when I’m hungry.

Reply

11 Rachel December 7, 2010 at 10:06 am

Sounds like the perfect balance of naughty and nice to me ; ) That’s how I try to live… hehehe

Reply

12 eliza December 7, 2010 at 10:17 am

haha Love the naughty and nice theme.

I dont know about befriending his bosses wife.. what if she ends up being crazy?!

Reply

13 Retta @ RunRettaRun December 7, 2010 at 3:29 pm

What? No dick in the pit?? ;)

Reply

14 angela December 8, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Did he get the beat down for the Panera comment? That’s so the sort of thing my husband would do to me. ;)

Reply

15 Rachel December 8, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Haha no…I decided to take the high road.

Reply

16 Margaret December 9, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Love your blog!!! It almost always makes me laugh just when I need it!! I’m going out (for the first time ever) with my hubby’s new boss and co-workers next week in small town Indiana, and couldn’t decide whether I needed to dress conservatively, or just rock it! I’m going with the latter! Now how to pretend we don’t drink to much and swear profusely is another story……..

Reply

17 Rachel December 20, 2010 at 12:54 pm

so f’n funny, thank you!!

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: