The Flight of the Bumblebee Part II

Once I had a working car, I was ready to show Kara a good time in Houston.

After successfully taking the Bumblebee, we drove it straight to Tiny Boxwood’s for lunch. I parked the Bumblebee next to all the Lexuses (Lexi?) and BMWs and then got ourselves some delicious salads and a chocolate chip cookie. Once lunch was finished and we were no longer shaking with hunger, we popped into Central Market for a few ingredients for dinner and coffee.

Then we were finally ready to go on our true mission: cowgirl boots! Despite the fact that our destination was going to require quite a little drive, we didn’t hit any Houston traffic. It was nothing short of a miracle.

Everything’s bigger in Texas? Yup — the place was huge and we were greeted by a tall handsome cowboy who asked us if he could help with anything. I was so excited to be all “Sorry about my tourist friend” and explained that Kara was in from Michigan and was on a mission to get new boots. He directed us to the huge selection of women’s boots.

(Seriously…multiply that by ten, just for the women’s section.)

We browsed for a few minutes and then the  cowboy came back to assist us. Everything was answered with a “Yes, ma’am” and, naturally, we ate it up. I have never had a huge interest in cowgirl boots — I’m not opposed, I just had never been motivated to research them — but then again, I didn’t know why I should take interest until I was faced with hundreds of pairs them. I could be a black and silver sexy cowgirl or a pink and purple camo cowgirl. I could be a knee-high boots cowgirl or a high heel cowgirl! And did I want to be a cowgirl? Uh…yes, ma’am!

Still, though, I had no intention of buying anything for myself.

Kara had been planning to buy black boots, but then she found a pair of absolutely fabulous brown ones with a butterfly pattern and bursts of yellow, red, and turquoise throughout. They were so her and so great. Then she asked me to try them on with my skinny jeans so she could see how they looked with jeans tucked in. I obliged.

And then I was in love.

Because at that moment I discovered that cowgirl boots? Can make you look thinner. If, like me, you have relatively thin calves and yet also have thighs that, some days, are more on the side of prime rib than filet mignon…cowgirl boots can be just what you need to look all balanced. The two inches between the boot and my calf? Was two inches that was suddenly subtracted from my hips!

The red ones were right next to the ones Kara had bought and I decided to try them on. Why not? It would be fun.

Trying on those red boots was like going home with a guy from the bar for a one-nighter and waking up five years later with to find the two of you picking out a mini-van for the twins on the way.

And the boots were on sale.

For the second time that day…

God.

Damn.

It.

I had already stolen Eric’s car…was I now going to have to tap into his Christmas present fund?

While I was mentally transferring money around, I was also hunting for my size. Turns out, they didn’t have them. The cowboy said several other stores had them, so I asked him for the address to the closest one. I checked my watch and realized we had more than enough time for a boot-mission-turned-tour-of-Houston. We’d be back with the Bumblebee in no time flat!

I mean, the other store was…several miles away. But it was all highway driving, and, once again, we didn’t hit any traffic. The sun was setting as we drove and we totally had that giddy feeling you get when day is turning tonight and you’re having a great time and are even more excited about what is to come.

At this point, though, I did notice that Eric’s trip-odometer (a highly technical term) was…climbing. I had randomly noticed when I took the car from him earlier that it had been at 46. How the fuck was it now at…91?

But he had said to me in his office, “Here are my keys, baby. Go have some fun with your aunt. Put lunch for the two of you on my credit card.”

OK, actually, he didn’t say that. I really want a boyfriend who says that, but then again, if your boyfriend says that, he’s probably handing over the keys to something…not so yellow.

Anyway, I put that out of my mind. Yes, we had already put 50 miles on Eric’s car and yes, I still had to drive the rest of the way to the boot store and home, but, seriously, I the Bumblebee probably hadn’t seen this good of a time since Eric was in high school.

Then I thought, GROSS!, got pissed off at the ghosts of girlfriends past, and I hit the gas and continued on with our good mission!

We picked up my boots and headed back to my neighb just as it was getting dark. We had just enough time to swing by and pick up my car (just $15 to put a new valve on her — crisis averted!), pick up some beer, and drop off the Bumblebee right where we had found it.

Though I do think it looked a little out of breath — like, the bike rack askew and its windshield wipers all out of place. But, then, being kidnapped and taken for a ride by two women on a cowgirl boot mission in Texas will do that to a car. Even one like the Bumblebee.