After Fake Christmas Eve on Saturday night, Eric and I woke up bright and early for Fake Christmas!
I’m not going to lie: I was really excited. Like really excited! I love gifting.
And also, that damn little white box had been haunting me for more than a week!
I could barely take it anymore!
But just like on real Christmas, we did breakfast first. Once thoroughly full of spiked egg nog, cranberry walnut orange bread, and bacon, we moved on to our gifts.
But first, we had to do stockings!
Eric’s stocking had gingerbread, peppermint bark, a nutcracker (something he desperately needed for the bag of chestnuts he bought last week), and eyeglass cleaning wipes (something I desperately needed him to have because his dirty glasses drive me crazy). My stocking? Had Christmas lottery tickets — two days before I had just been talking about how I think lottery tickets are a great addition to a gift! — and other fun treats.
Why hello, little pints of tequila!
The one with the purple label is espresso tequila and comes with a recipe for some sort of fabulous smoothie involving coffee-flavored ice cream!
“Want to take a shot?” I asked Eric.
I mean, yes, it was 9 AM on a Sunday but it was a fake holiday.
He refused my offer, so we moved onto the main event.
Eric went first.
First, he opened his card, a gem I found on Etsy via Pretty in Orange.
The upup shop has tons of funny cards like that one — I highly recommend checking it out.
Anyway, once Eric got through the card, he unwrapped a docking station for his iPhone, something he’s been saying he wanted for a couple of months.
I suggested he start throwing some wicked dance parties. Neither of us dance, but the sound was so good, it almost made me consider it.
Next, he unwrapped a new alarm clock.
You see, my boyfriend has a serious problem with hitting the snooze. His old-school alarm clock blares the most annoying BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP for about three rounds every morning. He insists he needs to gradually wake up. I never hit the snooze, so I do not relate to this at all. But this alarm clock has a light built in that mimics natural sunlight. Thirty minutes before the alarm goes off, the light starts coming on, which apparently helps you wake up slowly and naturally, so that by the time the alarm goes off — and there is no BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP setting — you’re more ready to get up and not hit the snooze.
I mentioned this type of alarm clock a long time ago and he said he’d actually like to have something like it, so I was excited to get it for him. My original intention was to get the wake-up light plus an iPhone docking station all in one, but when I went to buy it on Thursday, I realized it had terrible reviews. I didn’t want to buy them separately, but that seemed like a better option than getting him something with a 1-star average.
Anyway, I’m really interested to see how this alarm clock works out. Honestly, I’m just impressed he’s figured out how to set it himself. I generally bring the whole “setting up new pieces of technology” thing to the relationship.
Finally, it was my turn to open my gift! My little white box was now wrapped in blue and white reindeer paper and inside was…
A shiny gold necklace!
For those of you who don’t dabble in the dark arts like I do, that is my astrological sign, a symbol I like very much and that is a very good representation of me!
I love it!
Once presents were opened, I surveyed the damage. I didn’t feel like cleaning up all the wrapping paper, so I picked up the tequila.
“Want to take a shot?” I asked.
He refused again.
“But it’s Christmas morning. Why do you get to play with your new toys, but I can’t play with mine?”
He told me I was welcome to have some of my tequila, but he wasn’t going to partake.
I suddenly got very suspicious.
“Wait,” I said. “Is all that tequila some sort of hint that I’m not putting out enough?”
Then we both laughed. I mean, seriously. If one of us wasn’t putting out enough, we’d just break up.