Let’s Do the Time Warp Again

by Rachel on December 30, 2010

I left Michigan this morning.

I don’t really think of my trips between Texas and Michigan as flying anymore. I think of them as time travel.

When you time travel, people gawk at your funny clothes and what life is like in the strange, unimaginable world you live in.

Last week, I left my present and traveled to December 2009, a time when I had two little dogs, when I saw my breath when I left the house, when I had breakfast with my family every morning.

A time when I baked cookies, because that’s what you do when it’s December and it’s 30 degrees outside — although when I time traveled this time, the cookies were influenced by my present.

A time when I could ask my mom to make a case for my new Kindle and she wouldn’t have to text me pics of the potential fabric or go to the post office and ship it. I could have it that night.

This week, I’ve been torn between being excited to see Eric and spend New Year’s Eve with him in Houston…and wanting to stay with my family another week, because they haven’t started to get on my nerves yet.

(I KNOW — I’m confused too.)

This morning I had to leave the house at 9:45, and I didn’t start packing until 9:20. I put off doing it for that long.

Flying is usually a happy thing, but time travel is always sad, because no matter the circumstances, it always involves leaving someone behind, either in your past or your present. As exciting as it is, when you arrive either in either time, you’ll know something has always changed, that it’s not exactly like you want it.

My favorite time traveler, Henry DeTamble, says in The Time Traveler’s Wife,

“I hate to be where she is not, when she is not. And yet, I am always going, and she cannot follow.”

It’s not that I wanted to stay, exactly, but time traveling is just such a depressing reminder that I will never have everyone I love in one place. And not even close — more like two planes, a car ride, seven hours, and hundreds of dollars.

I mean, it’s not much easier than climbing in the Flying Delorean when you look at it that way.

I’m about to board for Houston, torn between ecstatic and miserable.

I need to make more money so I can afford to do this more often…or really, bring people to me more often.

Seriously — weeping in airports is so unbecoming.

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Diane December 30, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Is that herringbone and flannel on your kindle case? LOVE.

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2 Dori December 30, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Gorgeous photos. Love the Texas cookies! I know how you feel… my brother has been in Seattle for so long now and it never stops hurting my heart.

Your mom is so talented, I LOVE your Kindle case! Also love that you quoted Henry.

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3 Rachel's Mom December 30, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Well I didn’t cry after you left this time….until I read this. :(

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4 Manon December 30, 2010 at 4:44 pm

soooooo reminds me of when I lived in Texas and I’d have to leave my fam after Christmas. So much that now I’M crying with just the thought of it even though I moved back 6 yrs ago and am only an hour from my fam. I feel BOTH of your pain though, I did it for 4 years and it never got any easier. :(

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5 hilary December 30, 2010 at 3:28 pm

I know exactly how you feel about leaving your family to go back to where you live. It’s so hard to just pack up and leave your family, no matter how much you love your life some place else. I’ve realized I can’t stay longer then a weekend with my family, not because they annoy me, but because if I stay longer I won’t ever want to leave. I miss them all so much, so I understand. I love the life I have at home but part of me always wants to be close to my family.

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6 Bonnie B December 30, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Can I pay your Mom to make me a Kindle cozy? I have the new cheap one, in a case, but I would LOVE to have a Kindle warmer.

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7 Rachel's Mom December 30, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Bonnie, you’ll have to measure it so I know if it’s the same size as Rachel’s, and then tell me what kind of fabric you like. (Flowers, brights, polka dots, etc.) I’ll give you a freebie since you’ve always been so good to my kid!

Andrea

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8 Stephanie December 30, 2010 at 3:58 pm

I feel that way everytime I leave my family and I’m only a two hour train ride away! It’s such a happy/sad feeling. I can’t even imagine how hard it is being so far away :(

On a happier note, I really do love your kindle case! So cute and creative. Your mom definitely has a talent! Safe travels!

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9 Elina (Healthy and Sane) December 30, 2010 at 4:02 pm

I’m not that close to my family but I really missed my boyfriend (now husband) when we dated long distance. I definitely cried every weekend before leaving (or if he was leaving). Hope this gets easier with time! :)

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10 Elina (Healthy and Sane) December 30, 2010 at 4:03 pm

PS – that kindle cover is AWESOME!

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11 Bridget@PavementandPlants December 30, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Rach, this is exactly how I feel when I fly back and forth. I still cry at the airport, looking ridiculous. I’m a mash of my moms side of the family that has lived close to family in Michigan their whole lives, and my dads side that travels everywhere and has lived in Thailand, London, Africa, all over. I understand your pain.

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12 Lisa December 30, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Love the kindle cover…got a kindle too and was looking at the leather ones on Amazon but really….would I be reading something boring enough to be leather covered? I don’t think so! I feel your pain re. the distance thing. My brother, his fantastic wife and my adorable (only!) 7 month old niece live in LA. I live in Ireland. Balls!

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13 MelissaNibbles December 30, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Cute Kindle cover! I’m sorry you feel so torn, but at least you’re living the life you want to live on your own terms with no apologies. You rock :)

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14 Jennifer December 30, 2010 at 7:03 pm

I understand and can sympathize with you on this, especially what you wrote about not having everyone you love in the same place.

Also, can your mom please open an Etsy store and sell Kindle cases?!?!

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15 Ashley December 30, 2010 at 8:31 pm

I so feel you on this. We ended up not going for Christmas or Thanksgiving, and it wasn’t such a big deal on Thanksgiving but I was definitely homesick on Christmas. :( I don’t know how next year’s going to play out either because I’ll be using most of my vacay and personal days on the wedding and honeymoon.

Sigh.

On a happier note, LOVE the Texas cookies.

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16 Caitlin December 30, 2010 at 9:30 pm

We definitely live the same life. I cry EVERY time I’m at the airport. I am the hottest mess you’ve ever seen in Terminal C (and A, B, D, and E for that matter.) I am DREADING getting on a plane after being home and in NYC for six days in the coming weeks. I often whine, “Whhhyyyy is America SO big??” Why can’t we be like Europe and just hop on a train and see someone in a different country (state) in two hours for like, five Euro?? Whyyyyyyy?”

Yep, I feel you. Damn Texas and it’s ability to feel like a different country minus the quick trains.

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17 Alyson @ Nourished Fitness December 30, 2010 at 10:04 pm

Amen to making money to travel! Of course having enough money to pay rent & bills is great, but I really can’t wait to be able to visit friends and family! Glad you had a good time in Michigan!

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18 JaNelle December 30, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I totally understand how you feel. I got married and moved to Virginia where the husband/man lived. My ENTIRE family lives in Florida. I feel torn everytime I leave one city for the other. I wish all my lived ones were in the same place too. Maybe one day.

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19 Laura Georgina December 30, 2010 at 10:56 pm

It’s a sign that you have the best family and best life away that you feel this way… I feel you.

(I wish my mom loved me so much she’d make me a Kindle cozy. She won’t even make me a fancy drink when she makes her own. Waaaah).

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20 Natalie December 30, 2010 at 11:46 pm

Unfortunately it doesn’t get easier. I’ve been crying my eyes out every Christmas for the past 5 years leaving DFW for Seattle.

This year, I went 11 months without my momma. Hardest thing ever.

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21 Anna December 31, 2010 at 12:00 am

I know just how you feel–I cried in our foyer after spending a week at home for Christmas. Maybe I’m just super pathetic because I only live downstate, but WHATEVER.

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22 Jasmine @ Eat Move Write December 31, 2010 at 12:56 am

I saw on facebook that you were feeling a little better, which I’m glad about it. I just wanted to stop by and say I noticed the changes to your header and what not — the blog is looking good! xo

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23 Rachel January 3, 2011 at 11:27 am

Awww, thank you!! I appreciate that!

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24 Jenn {Cookies, Cupcakes, and Cardio} December 31, 2010 at 1:01 am

I can totally empathize with you . . . my brother lives in Minneapolis and I live it Western Canada. I used to get quite upset when he was leaving, or I was leaving him, but my SIL left me with a quote that I always think when we’re parting . . . “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” I’ve heard it is a Dr Seuss quote.

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25 Maddy Reoch December 31, 2010 at 1:01 am

Don’t worry! You aren’t the only one crying alone in the airport!

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26 marie December 31, 2010 at 9:04 am

awwww I’m sorry, I know that is such a tough feeling. I am going to need a valium and a xanax overdose just to get on the plane back to London next week…but this just means you have so many people who love you in so many diff places. You also have a ridiculously cute Kindle cover.

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27 Lori December 31, 2010 at 9:22 am

Aw… I was all set not to cry today, what with all the being 1000 miles away from family and hormones all jacked up.

I love this post, mostly because we get to see a different, more somber, more introspective Rachel. Also because I can relate; I miss my past so much sometimes.

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28 kate December 31, 2010 at 11:10 am

it’s raining in michigan and it’s warm. all the snow is melted or gray and dirty. at least it’s warm in houston and your love is there. happy new year!!! that kindle cover is fantastic, go mom! it makes me want to want to sew.

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29 Erika @ Food.Fitness.Fun December 31, 2010 at 11:33 am

Those boots are so cute! I love ’em!

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30 Emma December 31, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Dude, I so relate to this. I just moved to Austin, yesterday, and was living in Colorado for a few years before this, and grew up and went to school in NJ/NY before that; I always feel like the different places represet different time periods of my life, and while I love them all dearly, it hurts when I leave! I always remind myself that I’m lucky to have so many wondeful people and places in my life TO miss, and that eventually, I’ll get it together and plan a wedding, so I can actually have everyone together in one place!

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31 Trinidad Pena December 31, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Awe this was so sweet… It made me feel really lucky that my family is close by. I’m torn btwn the kindle and the nook… Hm…

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32 Monika @ ForeverImprovingGirl December 31, 2010 at 8:28 pm

“time traveling is just such a depressing reminder that I will never have everyone I love in one place”

Sniff. Sadly I know exactly what you mean. Parents in London, brother in California, hubby in Toronto, extended family in Poland. Wherever I go I leave loved ones behind. Wherever i go – because I try to travel mostly to see loved ones – I have some important part of me waiting for me.

My tears were on train, and my post holiday blues are just starting to wane. I understand completely.

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33 Bizzle December 31, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Love poignant Rachel. +1 for your Mom opening up an Etsy store! I want an Ipad AND a Kindle case!

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