Lesson #65: Why Women Buy Expensive Jeans

by Rachel on January 19, 2011

Today’s post is a lesson about a serious medical condition. So serious, in fact, I had to come up with a new word to describe it.

So, I’ve managed to lose approximately six pounds since Thanksgiving. This is due in large part to switching up the BC (more on that fabulous side effect another day!) and my commitment to working out and eating sensibly for the past two months. I hadn’t been too aware of this weight loss until I was weighed at the doctor two weeks ago. Oh, I thought. Is that why my jeans need to be hiked up…every five minutes? Then, over the weekend, Eric was engaging in his typical, frequent ass-grabbery — seriously, over the holiday when I was home in Michigan, I’m pretty sure my butt was like, What happened to all the attention?! — and came back with a handful of baggy denim. I was now facing the ultimate white-girl problem: I had lost enough weight to need new jeans.

Now, I’m not at all picky about my jeans. I have friends who swear by designer denim, but it’s never been my thing. Rest assured, I find other silly ways to blow my money on my appearance. But I’ve tried on True Religions and Sevens and all the other important brands that Fergie references in “My Humps,” and none ever really looked that great. The waist was always too low and the hem was always too long, to the point that taking them to a tailor would just ruin them. I get that people say it’s worth investing in one pair of expensive jeans instead of several pairs of cheap ones, but that only works if you actually like the expensive jeans.

And why make myself like them? Express jeans have always fit me perfectly. I know exactly which ones I want and I can just go in and grab a size without trying them on. And besides, my weight fluctuated a lot in college and the year after; I couldn’t invest in a $200 item of clothing that could be too big or too small in a semester. So I stuck with Express. Last winter, I branched out and bought a $20 pair of Target jeans that I loved. I bought a second pair online when the first pair became too big, but after that pair also became too big, I was sad to see they no longer existed.

Faced with the prospect of swimming in my jeans all week, I headed to Express Monday afternoon to buy a new pair of my favorite skinny jeans, in a rather skinny size. But standing in front of the wall of denim, I realized my beloved jeans were…not there! Well, OK, that I could handle. I’d worn the other styles before, and I could make the switch if I had to.

I located a dark pair of skinnies in my size and lifted them up for inspection — at which point I discovered that some designer for Express thought it was a good idea to stitch a cheap silver tag to the waistband. Don’t get me wrong, I like my leopard prints, but this went way above and beyond my Housewives of [insert any city here, they’re all tacky as fuck] threshold.

Well that was out. I was so annoyed. Frustrated, I went to Target. I mean, they could be counted on in a pinch, right?

When I arrived at Target, the wall of denim was the sort of situation that I file under “F” for “Fuck, Cluster.” The sizing system confused me. Why did they have size 5 and size 6 on the same wall? Typically, it’s evens or odds. And apparently now Target carries six different styles of jeans, which are all labeled with numbers. So I could turn down the “1” because it wasn’t my size…but then maybe it was my size, because maybe “1” referred to the cut? And, of course, there were four different washes and three different lengths. After digging for about 10 minutes, and working up the kind of sweat that is the reason I needed new jeans in the first place, I went to the racks.

And then, there they were! Perfect dark skinny jeans with some stretch. I started to go through the rack to find my size when I saw the label: JEGGINGS.

I abandoned the rack and headed to another, but again: JEGGINGS.

Like, when did this become a thing????

I get that leggings-cum-jeans are a trend, but come on. To the point that I can’t buy regular jeans anymore? At Target?

I decided to try on a pair of jeggings, along with some of the possibilities I’d settled on from the wall.

The jeggings? Were vile. Sure, they’d work as leggings, but I don’t have a closet filled with shirts you wear with leggings. If I wore those god-awful things as jeans, I’d most definitely be That Girl. There was just no way. The other jeans were a disappointment too. I went back to the wall and dug for another 10 minutes, and then went to the racks again, where I discovered, nope…still all jeggings!

You know it’s a bad day when you leave Target empty-handed.

I had not planned to go jeans shopping. I had just planned to buy jeans.

I didn’t want to go back to the mall, so I made an executive decision to stop at Off 5th on my way home. I mean, it was right there. I knew it would be all designer denim, and I figured I’d hate it, and it would cost way more than I wanted to spend…but at this point, I was so over shopping, that I didn’t care.

When I arrived, I realized that Off 5th had none of the stress of Target.

Off 5th had neat stacks of all of Fergie’s favorites.

And Off 5th had everything buy one, get one half off.

I had no idea where to start.

Luckily, I knew what I wanted: dark skinny jeans without embellished pockets and no pocket flaps. I started collecting jeans, having honestly no idea what size I was, both because I’m not used to buying jeans with inches instead of just sizes, and also because I’ve lost weight. I had to try on so many pairs to even get to the right size, and there were some brands in which I totally overestimated my weight loss and was left tripping all over myself in the dressing room in jeans that would not go over one thigh.

I made several trips to the dressing room, and the uppity salesgirl got more uppity every single time I returned. Each time I’d step out of my room to view my jeans in the three-way mirror, I’d see her reflection in the mirror as well, several feet back, just glaring at me as she folded pair after pair of jeans. (Which, to my defense, were not all mine.) She offered no words of reassurance and I didn’t have that friend to tell me what they thought. I don’t know that you’re supposed to go jeans shopping alone.

Eventually, I found a pair of Sevens. The length worked. They fit well. I liked them…I could even say I loved them. But from what I’d heard about buying designer denim, I was supposed to have a raging hard-on when I found the perfect pair. These did not seem to do anything more for my ass than my Express jeans had, yet they cost about twice as much.

But the thought of going back to the mall made me give in. It felt wrong. Yes, I was investing…but I couldn’t be sure I was investing wisely. I felt like one of those girls who dates the wrong guy because she’s too lazy to find someone she’s really crazy about. He seems good on paper and the thought of trying online dating just kills her, so she toughs it out.

Blame the dressing room lighting, blame shopping fatigue, blame whatever — but I was wrong. When I put the jeans on the next morning, I fell in love.

Like, hard.

What the hell is in that denim that just makes your ass just look right? I mean, I lack the badonkadonk that I thought was entitled to me as my birthright, but these jeans at least gave me the ass of a hot white girl. I could walk and breathe and sit without concern, but somehow, the jeans were just the perfect amount of tight.

And that was when the denimentia set in. I could not stop checking out my ass. Not only did they make me look a million times thinner than my too-baggy jeans had, but they also just…sprinkled me with magic fairy dust! No matter which way I turned, the jeans chanted like Nelly.

I was infected! It’s a miracle I even left the house; I was rather content to just quarantine myself and play Narcissus all day long.

So, yes, I love them, and want to think of them as a reward for a year of Core Fusioning when I’d rather be doing anything but, but quite frankly, they’d only feel like a reward if they had been free. Yes, they are amazing, but they damn well better be amazing at that price! It’s really not a reward when you have to spend your own money on it, now is it?

I got home from work and was tempted to skip Core Fusion but then I realized the true magic of designer denim: when you spend a lot of money on something like that, you sure as hell want to wear them as long as possible. Out came the mat, the sports bra, the Thighs & Glutes DVD. I can get them tailored smaller if I shrink, but they’ll be trapped in the closet like R. Kelly if I go the other direction. Apparently, the extra $75 dollars on the tag is the price you pay for motivation.

Of course, the true test will come tonight. It’s time to debut them for Eric and see if they attract the same sort of attention that short boxer shorts and yoga pants tend to attract. I’m really looking forward to my first trip up the staircase tonight ahead of him. I’m pretty sure once I get that seal of approval, I’m going to stop looking for a cure.

So now it’s time to be honest. You’re among friends here. You can talk about it. Tell me — do you suffer from denimentia?

{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Bethany @Bridezilla Bakes January 19, 2011 at 9:19 am

Haha! Love this post.

I guess I have fallen hard for designer jeans — but I do tend to go the Nordstrom Rack/Off 5th route rather than suffer through actual department store prices. Trust me, your sticker shock would be OFF the charts if you had bought those jeans at Saks… ugh. NOT worth it.

But like you said, the shopping experience at Off 5th or Nordstrom Rack is actually pretty pleasant (minus the snooty staff). Everything is organized, there are usually a TON of choices — and everything is about half the price. Very fun.

Lately though, I’ve been into some regular old Gap jeans — and I have that magical “what just happened to my ass?” moment every time I put them on. I guess it doesn’t matter where you find them, as long as you love yourself in (and out of) them!

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2 Dori January 19, 2011 at 9:27 am

Can’t wait to hear Eric’s reaction. Also, I need to tell you to to go the Gap. I have had denimentia for years, yet this year my favorite pair of jeans that I wear more than the others is from the Gap and they cost $60! (They are labeled jeggings there, but I ASSURE you they are just skinny jeans — try them). I have spent more than I can admit on designer jeans, and my size has fluctuated so much that it has not been worth it. But my favorite Seven jeans from when I was a size smaller do more for my ass than anything, which is why I sometimes force myself back into them. Welcome to my world!

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3 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 9:30 am

I definitely was exclusively Gap jeans in high school, and I have a pair of black capri jeans I got there this fall that I LOVE! It occurred to me later that I could have gone to Gap, but like I said, the thought of going to the mall was just overwhelming. But after I talked about my foray into designer, TONS of people recommended Gap!

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4 shelby January 19, 2011 at 9:28 am

Denimentia. Great word.

Yes, I would say I’m a sufferer, but I’m in the “only buy one pair a year” camp. I have a pair of J Brand skinnies and a pair of straight leg Sevens that are pretty much the only two pairs of pants that I wear in public. Don’t ask me about what happens when laundry day rolls around.

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5 Leah (Nutritionista) January 19, 2011 at 9:29 am

I’ve totally been stuck in the Target/Express denim forever. Since I’m wardrobe-challenged, my goal is to buy my first pair of “expensive” jeans this summer (with the help of a coworker!). I can’t be trusted to buy jeans by myself — or apparently any piece of clothing.

I do appreciate being the beneficiary of your old jeans when they got too big! Oh, but I found jeans that are very similar to those Target ones. They’re Old Navy Flirt skinny jeans in a dark wash — Try ’em out if you ever need to go back to the cheapies.

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6 Laura Georgina January 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Leah, those Old Navy jeans are MY FAVORITE JEANS! They do booty wonders and their “short” length is perfect (usually, I’m marginally too tall for their short but way too short for their regular lengths). I got a pair on sale for $14 in December. I hope that doesn’t mean they’re trying to get rid of that kind for good. Maybe we should stock up ASAP…

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7 Leah (Nutritionista) January 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I know, I got a few on super sale in Nov/Dec!! I hope they keep making them. They’re my go-to for comfort and fit.

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8 Emily @ Relishments January 19, 2011 at 8:28 pm

The Old Navy “Flirt” jeans are my favorites, too! Come to think of it, I’m probably about due for a new pair, cheap as they are, I still can’t bring myself to buy them unless absolutely necessary. Could I be thriftier? Probably not.

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9 J's Everyday Fashion January 19, 2011 at 9:31 am

I love this post!!!! Jeans shopping is SO not a fun experience in my opinion. I tend to try them on as I go, rather than making a specific shopping trip because otherwise I think I’d loose my mind. I always say that when you find a brand that works, stick to it so I’m sorry to hear Express changed everything. I used to buy all my (designer) jeans at Filene’s, but lately I’m a Gap girl. They, eh-hum, give me the raging hard-on that you mentioned (I’m blushing now).

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10 Kaleigh January 19, 2011 at 9:36 am

Oh, jeggings. This is all you need to know:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9zcGGrvcck

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11 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Here’s what’s weird: I had never seen that video until just now, and lo and behold, it features a girl I went to the summer theater program with in 2002, who was pretty much the funniest person in the world. I haven’t seen her or talked to her since then. What’s even weirder? I JUST messaged her yesterday about Beckinfield.

Jeggings bring everything full-circle, man.

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12 janetha @ meals and moves January 20, 2011 at 12:50 am

wow. that IS weird!

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13 Allison @ Happy Tales January 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm

OMG that youtube video is hilarious… HILARIOUS!

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14 Gracie January 19, 2011 at 9:46 am

Oh, jeans. I have such a love/hate relationship with them. There’s absolutely nothing like the perfect pair of jeans….but I’m not sure I’ve ever found them! And jean shopping is pretty much the bane of my existence. My problem is that I’m short, but petite jeans are usually too small for my bum (which, is quite impressive for a white girl. Just sayin’).

What I really should do is invest in a good pair and get them tailored, but I’m too lazy/cheap. So instead, I have about 20 pairs of jeans from H&M/Forever 21/Old Navy that I barely ever wear.

The other day I came *this* close to denimentia. I fell in love with a pair of Seven’s on Gilt Groupe (I think it was primarily because of the discount), but chickened out because I couldn’t bring myself to spending over $100 without trying them on first. It’s only a matter of time, though!

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15 Jessica January 19, 2011 at 10:02 am

I have been reading your blog for some time and you absolutely crack me up. You are able to articulate everything that goes on in my own head, but you are able to put it so well. Jean shopping absolutely kills me. Currently, I am trying to drop weight and am resisting the temptation of expensive jeans. I have to say after reading this you make me want to go buy new jeans and make my ass just irresistible:)

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16 Stephanie January 19, 2011 at 10:02 am

I am sort of midgie (super short) and when my weight goes up and down my jean size fluctuates like crazy.. I don’t have the budget to get saddled with denimentia so I avoid those stores like the plague. This post was TOO funny though!

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17 Barbara January 19, 2011 at 10:13 am

Sadly, there is something more sickening than the jeggings trend.

My boyfriend has a daughter that just turned 7. I won’t go into the whole backstory on how her mom is a pothead and spends all her child support money on cigarettes and is basically a horrible person, but her tendency to send my boyfriend’s daughter to us with no socks or gloves in the middle of winter and her pants being so small on her that they won’t zip up or button is the reason I went childrens’ clothes shopping for the first time over Christmas when we had her. And it horrified me.

They have jeggings for children. And low-rise skinny jeans. Here I am, trying to find her an age-7-appropriate wardrobe to delay her turning into her mother sooner than she has to, and all they have is distressed low-rise skinny jeggings in the kid’s section that I can pair with an off-shoulder boho top or bejeweled v-neck. Then when we went to get the kid some new underwear and socks, they had bikini and bikini-string low-rise underwear as well.

Because obviously you can’t have your Hello Kitty and Disney Princess panties sticking out over the top of your skinny jeggings.

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18 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 11:28 am

This is seriously sad, but you are hilarious. :)

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19 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:12 pm

This is why I don’t want daughters. For REAL.

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20 Cyndie January 19, 2011 at 10:16 am

If they’re the “right kind of tight” than obviously Eric will love them. In my experience, guys don’t love the baggy boyfriend fit. ;)

I am so glad you passed on the Jeggings. I hate them so much. I always want to talk about how ugly they are, but when I do, the person I’m talking about always shares how they own a pair. Shit.

This Christmas my mom gave me enough money to go out and buy some designer jeans, but I had no such luck. I actually got two pairs of awesome skinny jeans at Abercrombie and Fitch. I was skeptical at first, but these are by farrr my favorite jeans.

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21 Kelly January 19, 2011 at 10:23 am

I have to admit, when GAP revealed their curvy fit jean I was sort of excited but not by the price. When I had gained more weight than I would have liked to admit, I found that Levi’s worked best for me. Now at a lower number, Levi’s darkwash are still my favorites. The best part? 19.99 at BJ’s–sorry, I’m not sorry for buying my jeans with my case of Fage yogurt at a wholesale club!

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22 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Ahhh….LUCKY!

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23 marie January 19, 2011 at 10:26 am

um I am totally a designer jean addict. It is disgusting how much money I’ve spent on denim over the years. But you know what? There is NO shame in this girl’s game #SorryImnotsorry. I really seriously believe a good pair of jeans is worth all the money in the world. You wear them all the time, they’ll last for years, you don’t have to worry about them stretching out in 5 seconds and most importantly, they make your butt look amazing.

Welcome to the Dark Side!

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24 Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers January 19, 2011 at 10:30 am

yes, yes, yes. i am a long-time sufferer of denimentia. i have very wide hips and have a REALLY hard time finding flattering jeans. the designer denim just LOOKS better on me than stuff i can find at express, american eagle, etc. buying your first pair of designer jeans is a slippery slope, and i have yet to stop sliding..

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25 Caitlin January 19, 2011 at 10:35 am

Well as long as we’re being honest here, let me just put it out there, I am built like a black girl.

Yes, Rachel, that badonkadonk your genes skipped? Were given to me. I have the classic waist-much-smaller-than-the-hips syndrome. We commonly see this on women with overall dimensions that are smaller than mine, but the symptoms are all there: near perfect fit straight out of the dryer, tugging at the waist band in a violent upward motion while simultaneously jumping within 10 minutes, sagging of crotch in 15, inability to wear a belt without the belt coming up higher than the waistband, constant search for new belt when holes are stretched out, washing of jeans every wear.

I’ve tried Sevens, True Religions and the like and all they have ever done is left me in a twisted mess, hopping around the 2×2 dressing room trying to – as you said – get them past my knees. I should have known when the space to try their products on was the size of a pantry that my big ass was not welcome.

I used to love Gap, then I didn’t. Currently I have a few pairs of BKE jeans from Buckle that aren’t bad as well as Rock Revivals. The latter are great, but a size too big. They were a size too big when I bought them, but I had a gift certificate for a fancy denim place and they were the only ones that even came close to fitting me.

I’m finding the more I do CrossFit, the more solid I get and so now I fall under a new body type classification: The white girl built like a black girl turned weight lifter syndrome. Definitely wouldn’t be surprised if this is some kind of breakthrough in the medical field.

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26 Pippa January 19, 2011 at 10:45 am

Ha, try that in South Africa! I’d live in jeans if I could, but so far I’m still looking forward to that truly magical denimentia-inducing pair. They must be out there, right?

Also looking forward to Eric’s response AND A PHOTO! After such a cool post, we definitely need a photo, too!

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27 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I know, I know! I will try to get Eric to stop grabbing long enough to snap one!!

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28 Marg January 19, 2011 at 11:06 am

Hope they pass the guy test! I love Seven and Citizen jeans, but couldn’t find the ones I liked the last time I went to Nordstrom (the denim felt thinner). But they do make my butt look so much better, and they don’t stretch out as much as cheaper jeans. I also like some Gap jeans, the dark trouser, for work.

Oh and if you subscribe to Sevens emails, they have sent me 40% off the whole site sales.

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29 emily January 19, 2011 at 11:43 am

So…. do we get to see a picture of the jeans?

I have generally stuck to Banana Republic jeans (love!) but I do have an undying obsession for Ms. 60.

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30 Bobby @ boymeetscake January 19, 2011 at 11:46 am

To the point where I have multiple jeans that are the same wash/style. It’s disgusting. I’ve noticed that Jeggings are all over the place as well (I fully and proudly admit to wearing women’s jeans…that and I really have no choice as regular men’s do not fit anymore). However, I draw the line at buying Jeggings. I don’t want to be that ‘mo.

My ultimate goal is to find a good pair of black jeans. The only black jeans on the market today seem to be Jeggings. Ugh.

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31 Mel January 19, 2011 at 11:50 am

Don’t hate me!! I’m totally THAT (lucky) girl whose butt looks pretty great in almost any pair of jeans. However – my problem usually lies with my thighs and hips.

My all time favorite pairs have come from Forever 21. I know I know. I’ve also done the Express thing to some good responses but have yet to tip over past $70. Ruelala frequently puts up $99 Sevens which I’ve always wanted to buy, but I’m still holding off buying a fancy pair in fear that my shoe obsession will be left to the wayside.

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32 Mel January 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Speak of the devil…the Ruelala Seven sale is happening now.

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33 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Whaaaaa? I somehow missed that Ruelala e-mail. And it’s probably better that way.

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34 Kaytee January 19, 2011 at 11:59 am

Girl, get you some Levi’s. I had denimentia for years (Meks & Luckys were my poison) but then I lost a lot of weight pretty fast (thanks to a BC switch, too) and I needed jeans for vacation, but couldn’t afford 2 pairs of 150$ jeans. So I was desperate & headed to the Levi’s rack. I have never looked back. I’ve been exclusively buying Levi’s for about 4 years now.

That said, if I made myself try on some more expensive denim, I may fall victim to it all over again, so who knows. : )

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35 Laura Georgina January 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I gave all my love to Old Navy’s The Flirt Skinny jeans in reply to Leah above, so I won’t go on about how much I love them. They do wonders for the ass and have minimum pull-uppery/falling crotch (I have the same problems as Caitlin; my mom has that problem so bad she actually gave up jeans shopping, but I refuse to give up). I also tried on some lovely very skinny stretch jeans from Charlotte Russe that my sister has, and they fit like a dream, but sadly they’re out of stock now and I can’t get my sister to donate them.

I don’t think I could ever even TRY on expensive jeans, because I’m cheap, but I’m also so hard to fit that, should I find a pair that fit perfectly, I’d stockpile for life. And then go bankrupt. So I’m not tempting fate–or my finances…

And I tried on those Target jeggings too. I almost vomited in my mouth when I saw myself and heard similar sounds from my sister, who tried them on at the same time too. Worst. Jeans. Ever.

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36 whitney January 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Good story. I only buy designer denim (and wear it to the ground). I have a strange “white girl body”… long/slim torso, muscular thighs, but “a little over above average” hips and butt. The cuts and wear on designer denim is what works best for me. I wish express had jeans that fit nicely, because I do hate the pricetag!

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37 janetha @ meals and moves January 19, 2011 at 1:29 pm

holy shit. you are hilarious! i am only here to boost your ego. have a great day.

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38 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:09 pm

<3

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39 Keri @ Iron Mountain Movement January 19, 2011 at 1:33 pm

You know there is no turning back now?! Like Marie said, welcome to the dark side.

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40 Caroline January 19, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I have a few pairs of jeans from F21 – I mean, $9.90 is hard to beat! However, my true denim love lies with Joe’s Jeans and I think it always will. I’m a 5ft tall white girl with the ass of a black girl (or maybe Puerto Rican because I frequently get asked if I am..?) so Joe’s Honey style jeans will always have a very special place in my closet.

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41 Mary @ stylefyles January 19, 2011 at 4:03 pm

WHAT? All that text and no photo?

My balls feel blue.

I don’t own a pair of designer jeans but have always wanted True Religions. I tried them on once and did, in fact, acquire a raging hard-on (what is it about your blog that influences me to ease into guy-speak, BTW??) . I think the difference in our situations is that I tried one one pair of TR’s one time, and your Seven’s came at the tail end of a seemingly frustrating day. I can’t imagine anything would seem perfect. That’s why the next morning they felt fantastic. It’s like beer goggles but reversed. (no. no it’s not).

Glad you found a great pair of denim – show a photo!

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42 Rachel January 19, 2011 at 4:09 pm

“My balls feel blue.” HAHA — well said!

I haven’t had the opportunity yet to get anyone to take a gratuitous photo of my ass! I’ll ask Eric to do it tonight!

PS Beer goggles analogy = awesome.

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43 Jennifer January 19, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Buying jeans makes me so frustrated! To find the best pair, I have to buy them tight in the waist because they’ll loosen up after I wear them once or twice. But as a plus-size girl, the most frustrating part is that these jeans designers seem to think every plus-size girl’s ass is as large as their thighs. Um, no. My thighs are pretty small in comparison to my hips/ass, but every pair of jeans I buy are to baggy in the lower part of my ass and my thighs! Every girl wants jeans that hug them in the right places, even bigger girls!

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44 Ariel January 19, 2011 at 6:03 pm

I have such a hard time finding jeans that I like that I’ve pretty much given up and wear mostly skirts and dresses. Although don’t hate me, I do have a pair of jeggings that I like. But mostly dresses and skirts are where it’s at because they just have to fit in the waist and not in the thighs.

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45 Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter January 19, 2011 at 6:25 pm

LOVE this post. I was just thinking about jeans shopping lately. Cause I always get my jeans at the Nordstrom sale in July. So whatever I weigh during the summer, is how all my jeans are going to fit. Apparently eating sorority food wasn’t counted in the jeans that I bought this summer because they are all soooo small. Usually they do stretch out too, so in premium jeans you need to buy them about two sizes too small and wear them uncomfortably until they do fit. I’ve now worn these pairs of jeans for 6 months, and wooo wee are they still uncomfortably small.

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46 Bridget@PavementandPlants January 19, 2011 at 6:32 pm

I am sad to say that I have never found a pair of jeans that work for my body. I try but it hasn’t happened for me yet!!

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47 Aj January 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Skinny jeans are outlawed in our apartment. (As are Uggs.) Spending a lot of money on jeans is also outlawed. I don’t think I need to tell you who came up with the rules and who the culprit is who made such rules necessary. Said culprit came home once with skinny Lucky brand jeans and was forced to return them.

That said, I have one pair of gray skinny-like jeans from Levi (also bordering on expensive-like) that I adore. Otherwise jeans come from American Eagle.

My jeans problem is the length. Most are too damn short and I have to wear ballet flats in order to make them remotely acceptable. The “long” length is just a tad too long. I know, I know #whitegirlproblems …or #tallerthan5’6″problems

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48 sarah (the SHU box) January 19, 2011 at 7:17 pm

ahhh you just made me feel much better about buying a second pair of joe’s yesterday (they were on sale though!).

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49 Allie January 20, 2011 at 3:43 pm

This post is so hilarious/true. I have never ventured into designer denim myself, but if I can lose this last pant size maybe a visit to a discount store will have to be made.

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50 elaine! January 20, 2011 at 6:38 pm

LOL … I’m totally wearing that pair of Express jeans with the gaudy silver tag on them at this very moment! I recently gained some weight, and Express jeans just seem to work with my body at this shape.

I used to be all about Lucky brand jeans, but then I decided I needed to quit wearing boot cut and go for straight leg, and they had practically nothing to choose from.

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51 Erica January 20, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Oh my, I had this exact same dilemma about a month ago! I’ve never been picky with jeans either, but I was sick of mine literally falling off of me if I stood with my legs touching, so I sucked it up and went on a search. But all I could find were cheap-ass, thin-ass, spandex “jeans” or, of course, jeggings.

Seriously, how hard can it possibly be to just find a pair of good, quality jeans? Like, I want them tight, but not suctioned to my legs so that you can see the definition of my quads (and they’re not that defined, trust me). I finally found some decent ones at Macy’s, but I’m still not totally satisfied. I must say, though, it was great to feel them hugging my bootay when I first put them on. I might have had denimentia for a day or two.

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52 Joy January 21, 2011 at 7:39 am

I think I have the polar opposite of denimentia – I have 4 pairs if jeans 3 bought in the kids department of walmart (a store I only go to for jeans) for $3 a pair – I found out they were my size by accident one say when I threw my niece’s jeans on instead of mine and they fit better! And a 4th pair I found at old navy for .75 in their clearance department but they don’t really fit that well because the waist is too big, the thighs perfect and they’re too long (I’m short) but I wear them anyway because they are the only black jeans I own — ohhh and I tried I really did to like jeggings but nope!

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53 Allison @ Happy Tales January 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

I want to see a picture of you in the jeans!!!

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54 Miriam January 25, 2011 at 9:28 am

Just fell onto your blog today. I already love it! And let me tell you I HATE jean shopping. Hate hate hate! LOL I don’t think there’s a day I go jean shopping that I don’t leave the store in tears. LOL But I concur with some other said about Old Navy jeans. I used to hate those jeans because for some reason they used to leave the big old pouch in my groin area. It was so gross looking. LOL But those new “Flirt” boot cut jeans were Faboo! I got them for $15 the day after Thanksgiving. First time I left a fitting room without bursting into tears. I was even tempted to buy the skinny jeans. But I don’t think I could ever get into the skinny jeans trend.

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55 Nicole January 25, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Yes. I wasn’t proud of it either at first, but it happened to me a few years ago after I had lost some weight too. I jokingly tried on a pair of Sevens and fell.in.love. Same thing happened with a pair of Joe’s. And then again with a pair of Lucky’s. Now I’m screwed because nothing else feels as good as they do. Talk about motivation!!

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56 julie February 14, 2011 at 6:44 pm

tell us more about the birth control weight loss side effect! No seriously, I’m considering an IUD b/c I’ve realized why should i spend $25/month on a nuvaring – that’s 2 pairs of seven jeans in a year!

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57 Rachel February 16, 2011 at 8:34 am

I am waiting until I’ve been on it for a little longer to write a post about all the side effects! But I definitely will!

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