I’m trying really hard not to spend money; if there was a debtor equivalent of a purity ring, I’d be wearing it. So even though I desperately needed new workout pants — preferably good ones that wouldn’t stretch, fade, and/or cause me any more of the long list of problems my current cheap ones were causing — I eyed the Lululemon store warily.
I was a Lululemon virgin, the store was a big scary penis, and — as is often the case with clinging desperately to your virginity — the whole situation was a whole lot easier because I had no idea what I was missing. I knew that as soon as I went in that store, it was going to be like the first time I dry humped. And after my recent case of denimentia, and the dip into the Anthropologie pool this month, I knew better than to visit another store where every woman forgets that she gave her word to stop at a third new item of clothing that she could find cheaper somewhere else.
It was a beautiful day as I walked past Lululemon. As the sun beamed down on me, it made me squint, but then it made me feel relaxed and feel happy — it was totally like the first taste of beer at a high school party. I felt like a freshman girl, and Lululemon was the cute senior guy telling me, “We don’t have to have sex. Let’s just cuddle naked.” And despite the fact that I love to use that line…I totally fell for it.
Once they had gotten me through the door, the seduction was easy. The music, lighting, and employees totally set the mood. And then there was a wink across the room from the wall that has all the pants folded in neat little cubes. I went over. The star quaterback, the classic Groove pant, stopped me.
I ran my fingers over the fabric and was definitely curious.
So I picked up a few pairs and let them lead me to the dressing room.
As anyone who has ever played “just the tip” at Lululemon knows…they felt good. Like, really good. Within seconds, I was out of my clothes and into this whole new world. Like, Is that my ass? What are these made out of!?
Unlike many women, I actually didn’t go crazy for classic Groove pant. I fell for the full-length leggings. I’d had a feeling that long leggings would be better for classes at Define than bootcut or flared pants; all that extra fabric at the ankle had been getting in my way and I wanted to be able to see my form. And a lot of the instructors wore long leggings. And, like…leggings as pants. But somehow it didn’t look like jeggings when they did it; they just worked.
Even though I expected it to be awkward at first, I got into the leggings right away. And when I moved to a different position, it got even better. As I pointed my foot, I could see all the little muscles in my thighs and calves that I’d been working so hard to tone, and I realized that being able to see them during class would be a huge motivator.
But…could I do it? Could I really go all the way?
I typically cycle through cheap workout pants very quickly, but Lululemon promised their pants would last for five years. Five years? That was practically a marriage proposal! It was at leas as good as a promise ring. I was sold!
I tried on more clothes — tops, shorts, bras, jackets — and checked out their bags and accessories. I could have bought one of everything, but when you’re a virgin, it’s not a good idea to take the whole team home the first night.
And besides, I was still hurting a bit from just the leggings. I mean, spending two or three times what you’d normally spend on an item makes your eyes water a little bit. But Lululemon was gentle — I did get the personal trainer discount, which helped take the edge off.
Once the deed was done, I had no regrets. I walked into class at Define the next day with that post-first-time glow usually reserved for a high school junior walking into homeroom on Monday morning. I could not get over how much better they looked than any other workout pants I’d worn before. Worn with my black Define socks, they made my lower body look longer than it is and even without a very long top on, I didn’t feel self-conscious in them. The material was just the right amount of thick and perfectly stretchy. Plus, they handled my workout way better than any pants I’d ever worn before — they didn’t droop, get sweaty, or slip around.
They were made of magic, as far as I could tell.
I never thought I’d wear straight-up leggings to work out, and yet here I was. I think because the class is done at the barre, you kind of feel OK wearing something that is more like a leotard and tights than traditional workout gear. After class, I still didn’t want to take them off. I did, because leggings as pants are unacceptable in the real world, but I was wishing I could just lounge around in them. But if that wouldn’t work, and I could only put them on when going to or from a workout…then I was going to have to work out more often.
And just like that, they were worth every penny.
Have you taken the plunge into the world of high-end yoga pants? Lululemon, or maybe Lucy? (I tried on their pants too, and I liked them a lot.) Do you think the expensive ones are worth it? Or are you an Old Navy/Target pants kind of girl? Do share!