Don’t Bring Me to the Gym

by Rachel on May 4, 2011

After reading this awesome article by James Fell on FoxNews.com — Don’t Bring Her to the Gym — [updated: I originally read it on Fox News but it was reposted from AskMen.com] I feel compelled to write my own. I mean, all these people are calling Fell a pig and saying he’s sexist, but come on! Go read it yourself and then tell me…

The gym is no place for a woman, not even a woman with “hail damage on her ass.” Eric and I both know this. I mean, he tells me all the time to take care of the hail damage on my ass, but he sure as hell doesn’t want me taking care of it in his gym.

Here are the author’s six reasons why a man can’t bring a woman to the gym and why I totally agree with them.

1. You Can’t Check Out the Babes. “If your girl is with you, you can kiss that goodbye. Seriously, no matter how discreet you think you are, you’ll get busted. And you’ll pay.” This is SO TRUE! I’m not going to let him check out other women at the gym, because you know what? Women LOVE getting hit on at the gym! I know that if he even so much as looks at another woman, she’s going to drop the US Weekly she’s holding as she bounces on the elliptical and go home with him right then and there. This one time when Eric and I went to spin together, he set up his bike next to a woman and then I had to call the other woman a homewrecker in front of the entire class and make him switch bikes with me. And then I made him pay by not having sex with him…because I’m a girl and we don’t like sex!

2. She’ll Check Out the Babes and Ask How She Compares. “Going to an environment where there are lots of sweaty hard bodies in spandex for her to compare herself to could make her anxious, and this won’t be good for her mood.” OK, well this is where he kinda gets it wrong — this isn’t just a problem at the gym…it’s a problem everywhere! You seriously shouldn’t take your girlfriend anywhere where she might see other women in spandex. Eric and I can’t go to the park or to the beach or even to Target. No matter where we go, there is always some woman all skanked out in running shorts and an old 5-K T-shirt showing off her bod. I see Eric looking at her sexy uniboob and I know he’s thinking about how much hotter she is than I am and so then I ask him…and then he LIES and tells me that the woman is 65 years old and has varicose veins and a mustache and that I’m the most beautiful girl in the gym. Obviously I never believe him. I get really anxious and then I have to call the woman a homewrecker in front of everyone, which isn’t good for my mood. And so then I make him pay by refusing to have sex with him.

3. She’ll Distract You. “But even if she is capable at lifting, chances are she isn’t going to be as strong as you or want to follow a similar program. When working out with a friend, I go with a guy of similar abilities so that we can push each other more effectively.” I cannot tell you how many times I have distracted Eric at the gym! I mean, given the fact that I’m a certified personal trainer, I’m always distracting him by correcting his form and trying to tell him the number of reps he should be doing or how much weight he should be adding on. He gets sooo frustrated with me trying to teach him the proper way to lift, so now I’m only allowed to come with him if I agree to stay on an aerobic machine or take a class while he goes to the weight room. The last time I went into the weight room with him, I accidentally tried to lift a 10 pound weight all by myself and seriously hurt myself. So now, like the author says, I just make up for it in “other ways!”

4. She Won’t Listen to You Anyway. “Say you do take her to the gym and decide to train her — you’re going to have to give her instructions. Let me ask you something: Does your woman like it when you instruct her on how to do something? It’s a fight waiting to happen.” Well, no I don’t like it when he instructs me on how to do something, but I always listen to him. But it totally is a fight waiting to happen — I only listen when a guy shouts or gets physically aggressive, and no guy wants to get into that fight at the gym. Pushing your girlfriend around is seriously distracting (see #3), right guys?!

5. You’ll See Her at Her Worst. “Sure, lots of women show up to the gym looking great, but if they’re not some hoop-earring-clad girl just doing the 15-minute-yoga-mat-elliptical-prance-and-stretch combo and instead are actually working hard, then things could get ugly.” Well, the author makes it clear that most women do the 15-minute-yoga-mat-elliptical-prance-and-stretch combo (that is why we should be sent “to pilates or Curves instead”) and that is why there are so many “babes” at the gym (see #1), but the thing is, the babes never have boyfriends! Every hot girl at the gym is single. What sucks is that your girlfriend will be “possibly smelly. Seriously, do you really want to see her pit stains and smell her B.O.?” This is where Fell TOTALLY nailed it! I mean, I used to be the hot girl at the gym but as soon as I got a boyfriend, I started wearing baggy T-shirts with pit stains and I stopped using deodorant. I mean, now that I’m in a relationship why would I even want to go to the gym with my boyfriend? I’d rather sit at home letting myself go! And OMG if there is one person who can never ever see me with my hair in a ponytail, it is Eric! I mean, I shower twice a day and don’t have sex with him because I’m afraid if I lost even a drop of sweat during sex, he would get super turned off and then he’d totally lose interest in having sex with me. But that’s fine because I don’t like having sex anyway!

6. You Need Guy Time. “I live with my wife and kids, and they’re awesome and I love them, but sometimes I just need to get the hell away from everybody. The gym is where family doesn’t intrude, and vice versa. It’s my separate oasis where I go to recharge. I have a wife who I love with all my heart. But the gym is my mistress, and I love her, too.” OK this is where I disagree. Why the fuck does Eric need guy time??!? Why can’t we do everything together?!??! NOT COOL. I mean, this is a RELATIONSHIP. Why would anyone want to be alone when they claim to love their significant other?!?! I love Eric so I make sure we do everything together. Sometimes I even go to work with him because I don’t think we’re spending enough time together. I don’t need “Girl Time”…why would I???! Sure, maybe I used to need it for when I was in the mood to watch Oprah/talk about my period/eat yogurt, but I make Eric do that with me now. So while I agree with all of the author’s other points, I just can’t get behind the idea that men and women need to spend some time alone when they are in a relationship.

Everyone is calling this guy out for this article but come on, ladies…it’s not flagrant sexism! It’s just that men are from Mars and women are unimportant! The gym is his church and we don’t belong there. It’s a place for him and other members of the human race who “also stand up to pee.” And single, hot women. Who I don’t want to think about because it’s not good for my mood.

{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Chrissy (The New Me) May 4, 2011 at 3:14 pm

I love your response. I read enough articles telling me why I, as a woman, am stupid/weak/fat/ugly/constipated/uncool and how I can fix it. It’s nice to read a no-nonsense response that rips those ideas a new one in a funny and disarming way. You’re awesome!

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2 Laura May 4, 2011 at 3:18 pm

You kick ass.

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3 Paige May 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Love!

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4 Leah @ L4L May 4, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I adore you. Spot on, love!

For the record, my husband and I work out together 90% of the time and very happily. We actually DO do the same weights program. And we DO both run the same distances. And we DO support each other and encourage each other. And I think seeing me work out is actually a massive turn on for him cuz he’s always randy afterward and I don’t complain.

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5 Ali May 4, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Everything about this post is hilarious and amazing. You are great. I admire your wit and your charm ;)

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6 Anon May 4, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Looks to me like James Fell isn’t with Fox News – he’s from AskMen. The article originally appeared on AskMen.com, and other outlets, including Fox, reposted it. Down with sexism and all, but place blame where blame is due.

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7 Rachel May 4, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Noted! Thanks!

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8 Emma May 5, 2011 at 8:10 am

You’re absolutely right that James Fell is responsible for writing the article for AskMen.com. However, I would also say that, in addition to the sexist (and ridiculous) tone of the article, the other big problem is that a major news organization, like Fox, found it worthy of posting it on their site. Fox has a much wider readership, and greater influence, than AskMen.com, and I think it would be prudent for them to take that into account prior to reposting trashy articles. While they may not have been paying James Fell, they certainly endorsed his view.

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9 [SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. May 4, 2011 at 3:26 pm

You’re amazing. I can tell that I’d be too frustrated to read the actual article.

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10 Kali May 4, 2011 at 6:49 pm

It gets slightly better as it goes on. The thing is, he failed to point out that his advice only actually applies to about five men in the world, and that doesn’t include himself, as he points out in the last few paragraphs.

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11 Chris W May 4, 2011 at 3:27 pm

The ladies once again surprise me …lol

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12 Summer May 4, 2011 at 3:30 pm

I thought I was the only woman incapable of working out. So glad to see another girl who has no idea how to lift weights and punishes her man for looking at other women!

I’d write more, but I’m about to be late for my 15-minute elliptical warmup before I stretch on my yoga mat. I still have to put all my makeup on and find my hot pink spandex shorts! Hopefully there’s lots of HOTTIES at the gym tonight because my butt is looking fab!

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13 Liz @ IHeartVegetables May 4, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Hahahaha I love this. You’re freaking awesome

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14 Heather May 4, 2011 at 3:44 pm

“I cannot tell you how many times I have distracted Eric at the gym! I mean, given the fact that I’m a certified personal trainer, I’m always distracting him by correcting his form and trying to tell him the number of reps he should be doing or how much weight he should be adding on. He gets sooo frustrated with me trying to teach him the proper way to lift, so now I’m only allowed to come with him if I agree to stay on an aerobic machine or take a class while he goes to the weight room.”

Ahahaha, I DIED reading this. I literally LOLed like 8 times at work. Gee whiz, I’d hate for any man to see me sweat if I stray from slowly sauntering around the track! And we personal trainer girls are so pesky! Always making sure the menfolk don’t get injured and telling them we can lift more than they can!

Oh, oops, hang on, I forgot to take out my hoop earrings after I left the gym.

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15 Kate May 4, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Thank you for finally speaking for us delicate flowers that dare not go to the gym or anywhere out of the kitchen. Ugh.

What a perfect response to such nonsense. I also don’t like that this guy is of the school of thought that any fitness method that requires a fair amount of flexibility (i.e. yoga and pilates) is a bunch of glorified stretching and not “real” exercise.

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16 Jennifer May 4, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Seriously. Whenever I go to the gym, it’s for Zumba or some other dance class. I never lift weights; that’s the area for men only! I know my place.

And it’s kicking James Fell in the nuts.

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17 Manon May 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I love you. I seriously don’t even know what else I could possibly say…….

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18 Derek Jay Steen May 4, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Wowee! This is the first post I’ve read on your blog, Rachel. I must say it’s pretty intense!

I didn’t read the Fox News article because I prefer the news and opinions of my friends and peers. And I think I get the gist of the article through reading your post.

First, I must say I’m definitely not a ‘typical male’ and I like to stick to more alternative ways of living, but here’s my thoughts on this post:

I rarely ever go to gyms because I feel I can get a similar workout at home without the need for large equipment or weights. However, I will go to the gym with a friend to play squash, tennis, or go swimming for fun.

Last year I went to a gym with Rachel (my girlfriend at the time) to play squash and swim afterward. I don’t recall looking at any other girls in the gym. I was too focused on crushing it at squash, breathing heavily after a long game, and seeing how long I could hold my breath underwater in the pool.

I went on a cruise to the Bahamas in January. There was a gym on the ship. I decided to take advantage of as many on-board activities as possible, so I used the gym every day (especially because I ate 3-4 times the amount of food as I normally do at home; it was too tasty to not eat it all). Even though Rachel didn’t want to use the gym with me, I must say I didn’t feel the need to ogle any of the women there. The only thing that distracted me while listening to podcasts during my workouts were when I wondered what other people where listening to on their devices, and guys with incredibly large muscles (‘I wonder if they have to get XL dress shirts just to fit their muscles into’, etc.).

Also, I like the smell of most people’s body odor (I’m weird, I know), I don’t mind hugging sweaty people, and I love getting hot and slippery/sweaty during sex. I was surprised to read that you don’t enjoy sex — especially since you’re a fit, attractive young woman with a boyfriend.

Lastly, Rachel and I would ogle males and females together, and we would discuss how attractive they are. But we were more secure in our relationship and sexuality than it sounds like the writers of the Fox News article are.
Great post, Rachel! It’s not often that I write such lengthy comments on a blog post. :)

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19 B. May 12, 2011 at 1:51 am

Wait, wait, wait…. Was this guy serious?

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20 Brittany @ Pretty Fit, Pretty Healthy, Pretty Happy May 4, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Weights? What are weights? I just stick to walking on the treadmill so my makeup and bouncy hair doesn’t get messed up.

This post is great (even for a woman?). :)

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21 Carla May 4, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Wow…I am in awe of you. Literal LOL

My husband and I often to go the gym together – it’s great to lock eyes across the room and realize you’re both internally laughing at the same poser making eyes at himself in the mirror while he does biceps curls.

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22 Dori May 4, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Brilliant response. My boy and I are the complete opposite of the article so it is extra funny to me. I’m the hardcore one who knows about weights and he walks along on the treadmill.

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23 Jess-The SemiAbnormal Gal May 4, 2011 at 4:11 pm

No words. I tried to write a witty response, but you have all the wit that is needed. Amen, Rach!

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24 Jenna May 4, 2011 at 4:13 pm

You are so right. I was planning on going to the gym after work, but I don’t want to come home sweaty to my husband. Thanks for the heads up.

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25 Christie May 4, 2011 at 4:15 pm

for a few minutes, I missed the sarcasm. I had to go back and re-read (guilty of skimming… sorry!)

My husband is totally my motivational workout partner. I’m going to be squeezing out a kid in 8 months, which I’m pretty sure will be traumatic to watch. I think if I can pop out a kid, I can sweat a little at the gym :)

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26 cindylu May 4, 2011 at 4:21 pm

So this is why he goes to the gym at 5 or 6 am while I’m still sound asleep? It’s not that he doesn’t want to work out after work or in the evening when the gym is much more crowded, it’s just that he really needs to get away from me. I get it now. He must have been totally turned off after all those times he’s seen me run races and get home from long runs all sweaty and salty.

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27 Kaitlin With Honey May 4, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Rachel — PERFECT. That’s all I’ve got.

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28 Tori May 4, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Oh, dear. I am having a stereotypical girly freak out right now because I went to the gym this morning before work with my fiance and we even lifted weights together! Fuck, now he’s probably going to back out on the wedding and my life will be over……

In other news, I have never commented on your blog thus far, but must say, I think I love you.

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29 MelissaNibbles May 4, 2011 at 4:31 pm

This is your best post yet. More stuff like this please.

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30 Allison @ OneWhiteTulip May 4, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Omg! No wonder my hubbypoodems just says “Ok” instead of “YAY! I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE AWESOME AND SEXY!” when I says “Hey, I’m going to the gym with you today.” It’s because now he can’t ogle women and has to look at ME all sweaty in my elastic ankle sweats and men’s xl shirt.

In all seriousness, my favorite moment at the gym with my husband was when he accidentally ogled another women. He wears glasses, but takes them off at the gym, so he’s semi-blind. He saw a woman he thought was me get on the stairs, so he waved and started making faces at her – smiling, winking, etc. He couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t waving back at him, when the women got off the stairs, packed up her stuff, and RAN out of the gym. It was about at this point he realized that that wasn’t me.

When he told me, being the jealous woman I am, I slapped him and refused to have sex with him ever again, instead of thinking it was the funniest thing ever and telling all our friends.

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31 Diane May 4, 2011 at 5:06 pm

You are my favorite.

Fuck this dude. The sweating point is … baffling. If you haven’t seen your S.O. sweat, then you’re not doing it right.

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32 Stacy (Little Blue Hen) May 4, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Oh man, I thought the post couldn’t get better until I read the comments. I must confess I am guilty of #3. Sometimes I pat my hubby’s butt when we’re sharing a lane in the pool. Better me than the creepy old guy wearing flippers who stays underwater too long.

And I literally snorted at Christie: “I think if I can pop out a kid, I can sweat a little at the gym :)”

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33 Kaytee May 4, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Kyle & I have gone to the gym together twice this week & let me tell you why it’s a bad idea.

1) He got totally embarrassed when I could hang on the elliptical longer than he could… which was bad for his mood.
2) All of the guys there were unable to check me out guilt-free, meaning no one else could appreciate how hot I looked in my spandex pants & I didn’t get that totally necessary reassurance that random dudes dig my ass while I do sumo squats.

Never again.

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34 Kalyn May 4, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I’m so disappointed that James Fell let the cat out of the bag. I thought no one knew that the reason us single girls went to the gym was to get ogled by big, strong, handsome men who left their dowdy girlfriends at home…

I freakin’ love you.

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35 Emma May 4, 2011 at 5:55 pm

This is exactly why I get all of my news from Fox. Their posts (and re-posts) are always so insightful, open-minded, and compassionate. This article is just another example of their commitment to equality, fairness, and facts.

Love.

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36 Sarah May 6, 2011 at 7:15 am

Hearted…

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37 Danielle May 4, 2011 at 6:13 pm

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
believe it or not I used to read James’ articles at thatsfit.ca, but boy am I glad he doesn’t write for them anymore. He has a clear disillusion on what a Woman is, and needs to get over himself and his gender.

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38 Beth May 4, 2011 at 6:13 pm

God you are awesome. I’d totally check you out if we were at the same gym.

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39 James Fell May 4, 2011 at 6:24 pm

I very well may lose a column as the result of this post, but do not care.

I need to come clean. I’ve had nearly 200 fitness articles published in the last two years, and I’m not proud of all of them. People make mistakes. Honestly, I wish I could make this one go away.

I originally pitched it as a “5 reasons TO take her to the gym, and 5 reasons not to.” They said they only wanted the reasons not to. I was new with them, wanting to impress etc., and agreed. I should have declined.

Had it been the original idea, I think it would have been more balanced and not have come across as so sexist. I want people to know that this article does not represent the way I feel, and that it was written purely for entertainment value. Unfortunately, it wasn’t entertaining, just offensive.

For this I apologize. If I could make the article go away, I would.

I’ve written a number of articles that encourage women to lift weights, and am saddened that I put my name to this and have damaged my reputation as a result. I will NEVER write an article like this again.

Sincerely apologetic,

James Fell.

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40 Kali May 4, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I think it was big of you to say that.

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41 Emily May 4, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Takes a big man to admit a mistake.

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42 Rachel May 4, 2011 at 9:19 pm

James — I really appreciate your response and sincerity. All I can really say is that the reason that this article made me so upset was not really that it was offensive, but that it appeared in a major news outlet. I would expect AskMen.com to provide content that is relevant to their readers and I can see how men would find this more entertaining than women would. Going after AskMen.com is like asking Cosmo to stop telling their readers how to touch guys’ balls or asking me to stop talking about tequila. At the end of the day, niche publications are going to write to their audience and that’s fine.

What really killed me is that I came across this on Fox News. And I’m guessing that’s not your fault…that’s the fault of an editor who looked at this and decided that it worked as editorial content for a mainstream medium. My blood boils when I think about how many people an article like this will reach because someone editor who is supposed to have good judgment decided that this was appropriate to run. It’s so irresponsible, it’s honestly ridiculous.

For what it’s worth, I didn’t read your article and think you were an asshole. I read it and wondered how a guy who said he had a lovely wife and who, on further stalking, kinda seemed like a nice guy, could write something like that. It didn’t add up for me, probably because it wasn’t your original idea and wasn’t your true voice.

Honestly, I think your sincere response, the way you’ve handled this, and a body of work that is contrary to this piece will speak for itself and your reputation won’t be irreparably damaged. Unfortunately, neither will the reputation of Fox News. They’ll find other writers and editors who lack the good judgment to keep something like this from happening again. But it is good to know that that writer won’t be you.

We all make mistakes — thank you for the lesson in how to handle them graciously.

– Rachel

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43 James Fell May 4, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Thank you for the kind words, Rachel, and for understanding. This whole situation has reminded me of the power of listening to your gut instinct, because it was twinge-happy when I wrote the article, and I ignored it to my folly.

Nevertheless, I can’t promise it will all be rainbows and puppy hugs from here on out. My job and my reputation is as a guy who is in your face. Actually, my LA Times column is called “In-Your-Face Fitness.” I need to push the limits sometimes, and undoubtedly future mistakes will be made.

Hopefully not as glaring as this one though.

Thank you again for the chance to speak my piece, and for your kind response.

Best regards,

James Fell

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44 Kristen May 4, 2011 at 10:50 pm

This exchange is awesome.

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45 kate May 5, 2011 at 9:57 am

I’m glad I scrolled up and read the comments.

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46 Rachel May 5, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Oh gosh I hope you don’t think I want you to go all rainbows and puppies! Jeez. What kind of girl do you think I am??

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47 James Fell May 5, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Have you ever hugged a puppy under a rainbow?

It’s awesome.

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48 Sable May 4, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Of course Fox News published this…

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49 Eirinn May 4, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Bahahahahahahahaha!!

Fell probably curls in the squat rack.

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50 Parita May 4, 2011 at 6:56 pm

I love your take on the article! And I agree too. I think there are so many other things going that should upset us, and this is not one of them!

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51 Erica May 4, 2011 at 8:42 pm

OH. MY. GOD. I don’t have words. Peeing my pants.

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52 Laura Georgina May 4, 2011 at 8:50 pm

FINALLY a man got it right! I better stop instructing my man on how to exercise, stop letting he be around me after, and never let him go to the gym because then I might be tempted to go with him and that would be so, so wrong.

Grrr. Love your response.

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53 Stephanie May 4, 2011 at 8:59 pm

You mean to say the 15-minute-yoga-mat-elliptical-prance-and-stretch combo isn’t really a workout!! Hot damn, what have I been doing all of these years.

Rachel, you certainly ROCK

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54 Rachel's Mom May 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

“I love Eric so I make sure we do everything together. Sometimes I even go to work with him because I don’t think we’re spending enough time together.”

That cracked me up!

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55 heidi @ runaroundaroo May 4, 2011 at 11:03 pm

LOVE the response!

I think he left out one very important reason not to bring your lady to the gym…what if she manages to out lift his scrawny ass? Then what!? Its not like his ego could handle a smashing like that!

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56 Heather May 5, 2011 at 12:55 am

Yet again, Fox News just nails it!
You are awesome! Completely awesome!

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57 Talitha May 5, 2011 at 2:59 am

I love that James Fell replied to you! And I totally agree with your point about Fox News. You could tell by the end of James’s article though that it was a bit tongue and check and not as bad as it came across.
What is bad about it, is that some men..and some women..think like this! There is a market for this view point.
Because if women aren’t pestering their S.O to follow them everywhere and then NOT have sex with them, or if they are not single-hot-wearing spandex and doing yoga with their hard bodies, they are what?
Manwomen bench pressing more then Arnie, taking testosterone shots and eating balls for breaky?

Whores, slaves, or dikes the lot of us…according to some and that’s what needs to change!
We are all individuals, the private bits are just for decoration ;)

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58 Dan May 5, 2011 at 8:52 am

There is much win in this one.

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59 Dan May 5, 2011 at 8:54 am

OK, there is win in James Fell as well. The things we have to do for our bosses…

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60 Melanie May 5, 2011 at 8:54 am

When I saw this on Twitter yesterday and then read the article, I was worried that you were serious when you said you agreed (didn’t read your post until this morning). I should have known better! I think my eyes are broken, they rolled so much reading the original. Thanks for the tongue-in-cheek take down!

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61 kate May 5, 2011 at 10:12 am

Well shoot, I thought training for a triathlon was the way to go. I’d better step off and head to Curves or maybe just get straight to the kitchen, take my shoes and pop out some babies. Baby-making and cooking are the only work out I need.

“Unfortunately, it wasn’t entertaining, just offensive.” I wonder how many men were encouraged by this viewpoint. Maybe this a naive thought but it concerns me.

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62 Jordan May 5, 2011 at 11:32 am

It’s just that men are from Mars and women are unimportant!
I have been saying this for years, I’m glad someone is finally catching on.

Good lord, I can’t believe someone would publish all of that crap.

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63 Elizabeth May 5, 2011 at 2:05 pm

This is too much. The article, the comments. Love. it.

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64 Sarah May 6, 2011 at 7:19 am

I freaking love everything about this post and the comments. Rachel, you are seriously awesome! I can’t believe James Fell replied to your critique and shared his misjudgment with us (a mistake I think most of us can relate to, especially the types of readers who read your blog–I imagine most of us try new things with gusto!) New media FTW…

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65 Catherine Lohmeier May 6, 2011 at 10:47 pm

Humor is the only appropriate response to this bullshit- so thank goodness for you!

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66 Stephanie September 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

There was a point in this that I realized it was satire and I just started cracking up. It was very early on, and I had read the other article first (pretty sure it WASN’T satire, but who am I to tell?).
I too became a sweaty, gross, ponytailed individual at the gym the moment -I- got a boyfriend.
Amazing.

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