While I know I have a lot of Greek readers out there, I also know that a lot of you don’t know much at all about sorority/fraternity life. So I thought I’d start sharing some lessons on that!
First up…a vocabulary lesson! Some of the definitions are inspired by urban dictionary, but most of the new words are straight out of the Spartanette blog that I wrote while I was a sorostitute at Michigan State.
Sorostitute (n.): A girl who absolutely lives for her sorority. She usually carries a pink cell phone and talks very loudly into it about details of what happened at the bar last night — at least what she remembers — or the latest Greek Week drama. On Facebook, she has a minimum of 800 friends and is tagged in twice as many pictures, usually wearing a slutty costume, because no matter the season, a sorostitute loves a theme party. If you spot a young woman driving through campus in a black SUV blasting a 50 Cent song or see her waiting in line outside a bar in sub-zero temperatures wearing stilettos and a mini-dress, it is very likely you are dealing with a sorostitute.
Fratty (adj.): 1. The quality of enjoying relaxing activities like tailgate, texting, skiing, golf, bronzing at the beach or lake, shopping for new polo shirts, day drinking, and exuding unmistakable confidence at all times while denouncing sketchiness and douchebaggery. 2. Wild, insane, or otherwise completely over-the-top behavior induced by the consumption of alcoholic beverages and done by Greeks. Also commonly used as verb — to frat.
GDI: A college student who is not in a fraternity or sorority. Origin: “Goddamn Independent.” Contrary to popular belief, it is possible for Greeks and GDIs to be friends. Dating is another story.
Chapter: A specific sorority. Also referred to as a “house.”
Recruitment: Formerly known as “rush,” the period when sorostitutes put on perfectly coordinated outfits, open their houses to non-Greeks, and pretend to all get along.
PNM: Origin: “potential new member.” Any uninitiated girl going through recruitment. One must refer to every girl as a PNM, even if she has absolutely no potential.
Standards: A chapter’s judicial board. A sorostitute is sent to Standards for breaking the chapter’s rules, where she is judged by a small number of chapter members who also regularly break the chapter’s rules.
Closed Rush: A mixer between one frat and one sorority that happens in a public place such as a club or party boat; gives Greeks something to talk about for at least four weeks (three leading up to it and one following it) until another social event comes along to replace it.
Courting: The process sororities and fraternities use to choose which house they will partner with for events like Greek Week and Closed Rush. Usually involves the frat guys offering the sorostitutes gifts in the form of alcohol or attention, which is basic Greek currency.
Formal: A sorority’s formal dance at the end of spring semester, usually held at a country club. Formal is like prom, but with a bar. Usually follows an intense period of over-tanning, over-dieting, and over-exercising just up to the point at which one’s hair and skin would start to look really bad.
Shacking: Spending the night in a frat house.
Shacker: One who shacks. Related: Shame, Walk of.
Shack-righteous: An attitude adopted by a sorostitute who does not want to spend the night with a frat guy but will stay as late into the night as possible, provided she doesn’t sleep at his place. Like the “everything-but” girl of slumber, she gets indignant when a guy asks her to spend the night because she’s not “like that.” She will insist on laying her head elsewhere (although she’ll probably give head first).
Bangover: The unpleasant physical effects following a night of sex.
Standing Room Only Dress: A dress that is so short it does not allow the luxury of being able to sit down. The sorostitute’s LBD.
Stumblers: Usually characterized by tall, spindly heels or blister-inducing pointy-toes, these are the are the stilettos that are so high, the sorostitute appears incredibly drunk, regardless of the actual amount of alcohol she consumed. When wearing stumblers, the she adopts a limping, stumbling gait in order to cope with her inability to stay balanced or walk comfortably. Frat guys often respond by attempting to take advantage of the wearer of the stumblers based on what they think is a reduction in judgment or a lack of inhibitions. Stumblers are a sorostitute’s favorite party shoes.
Fluck: This common date between a frat guy and a sorostitute involves him inviting her over to watch a movie with no intention of actually watching the movie. Origin: a flick for when one needs an excuse to fuck.
In Be-tweener Wiener: A sexual rebound for when a girl needs to get over her last relationship.
The Dichter Scale: A way of measuring how bad of a dating faux pas a Greek has committed.
Mistaken pledgdentity: When an upper-class Greek sleeps with a pledge, believing he or she is an initiated member.
Re-fraternization: The central cultural doctrine practiced by all sorority girls who swear off frat guys at some point in their lives, only to later tell everyone a “frat boy” can totally become a “fraternity man.” They can forgive the fact he binge drinks, does weird hazing shit, and objectifies women because he really “gets it” when it comes to understanding why they act batshit crazy during Greek Week.