Living in Sin: Sharing is Caring

by Rachel on August 22, 2011

Saturday afternoon, I realized I was out of shaving cream. Rather than use soap, which just isn’t ideal, I snuck into Eric’s bathroom.

I sort of knew I shouldn’t steal his shaving cream. The last time I ran out and asked him if I could have one of his extra new cans, and he begrudgingly gave me his half-empty one and then he opened a new one for himself. But when I checked his current can, it felt pretty empty. I didn’t want to take an empty can, so I went under his sink where there was a two-pack of shaving cream, still wrapped in plastic. I busted one of them out and returned to my bathroom, where I took a shower and shaved. I planned to buy my own shaving cream at some point…soon.

Later that day, I hung some laundry over my shower curtain rod to dry. That meant the shower  curtain was open a few feet, and you could see the purloined shaving cream in the shower. I briefly thought about moving it out of view, but I didn’t think he’d care that much. I actually didn’t even think he’d notice it. We don’t spend that much time in each other’s bathrooms.

Saturday evening, I went into my room to change my clothes. I took off my top and bra and was about to take off my shorts, when I stubbed my toe really hard on my closet door.

Eric came in moments later to see what the problem was, as he often does when he hears me screaming in my bathroom/closet (a surprisingly common occurrence). I covered my bare chest with my arms and told him what had happened. He was sympathetic.

Suddenly, he looked over my shoulder.

“Rachel,” he said. “Is that my shaving cream?”

He had that kinda pissed/kinda laughing tone.

“No,” I said. “I just…um…found it.”

“Oh you found it? In my bathroom??”

“You have no proof! That could be my shaving cream!” I defended myself. “I could have bought it! Stop with these accusations and allegations and think about that!”

He didn’t buy that for a second.

“I was all out!” I said, tightening my arms over my bare chest. “What do you want? A hairy girlfriend?”

“No, I want a girlfriend who buys her own shaving cream!”

We went on for a minute or two, mock arguing about it. Eric and I tend to have joking arguments like this from time to time; neither of us were that serious during the entire conversation. We were actually trying not to laugh.

“You better not have taken one of the new ones!” he said.

I froze. I wanted to deny it, but I didn’t want to lie. I tried to look innocent, but my mouth twitched.

He was not amused.

“The one in your bathroom is empty! I didn’t want to take an empty one! I was going to give it back!” I tried to make my case. “And why are you getting so precious over the new one? Yes, I opened the package and took out a new one. SO WHAT?”

He ignored me and marched toward the shower. Then he grabbed the shaving cream and marched past me back to his bathroom.

Damnit!

Suddenly I had an idea. I ran after him, still covering my chest.

“UNLAWFUL SEARCH AND SEIZURE!!!” I screeched.

(I watch a lot of Law & Order.)

He paused, considering this. I mean…I had a point.

“YOU VIOLATED MY FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS! YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE SHAVING CREAM!” I argued.” YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO COME IN TO MY BATHROOM!!!”

“Well, you have no right to be in my bathroom,” he said. “So…get the fuck out.”

I think the look on my face said, “Jeeeeeez, Mr. Selfish” for about a second before we cracked up; we tend to enjoy taking small things and turning them into ridiculously dramatic over-the-top “arguments” for our own entertainment.

He’s pretty good about sharing a lot of things, but he doesn’t like it when I help myself to his stuff without asking. He also gets cranky when I borrow his comfiest T-shirt (that he never even wears!) and didn’t appreciate it when I borrowed his deodorant for a few days because I was all out.

I thought living in sin meant sharing, right? Does your significant other react like this when you borrow their things?

On the other hand, if he tried to take food off my plate, I would have reacted in exactly the same way. We all kinda have our things, I guess!

{ 70 comments }

1 Leah @ L4L August 22, 2011 at 10:49 am

Wow! lol. Who knew someone could get so worked up over some shaving cream? My husband and I have always shared everything, really. It’s just easier that way. We buy a costco size thing fo shaving cream, toothpaste, shampoo, body wash, and share it all. Granted, we don’t have the luxury (?) of separate bathrooms either but it’s never been an issue. It seems easier to just have one supply. I suppose it would be annoying if he always had to be the one to pay for things that I used regularly but that’s not the case either – it all comes out of our joint account so it’s “whatever”. But now that I think about it… even before he wifed me and pre-joint checking, it still wasn’t an issue.
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2 [SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. August 22, 2011 at 10:50 am

LOL I can’t believe he freaked out over his. Boyfriend & I share everything. If we’re out of deoderant, we definitely use the other person’s stick. He uses my moisturizer. We share shampoo, a razor, etc. Too funny!
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3 Amanda August 22, 2011 at 10:56 am

My boyfriend and I live together and, while we generally have our own things (I think we just share facewash and toothpaste), if one of us runs out, we use the other person’s without asking. This could be due to the fact that it’s all bought together and split down the middle, so it’s not like we feel like we’re entitled to something.

4 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:20 am

Toothpaste hasn’t ever been a big deal with us…I don’t know why the shaving cream was such an issue!

5 fan of sharing August 22, 2011 at 10:57 am

red flag! eric sucks. someone who doesnt know how to share sucks. i suggest kicking him to the curb, immediately.

6 Carolyn @ Lovin' Losing August 22, 2011 at 10:59 am

I can’t recall my husband ever freaking out over something little like that, except for using his razor. ;) Everyone has their little pet peeves, though. If it’s a money thing, however, it might bear having a conversation about it because money and finances are such a huge part of any serious relationship, that it’s better to hash it out early.
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7 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

I don’t think it’s a money thing! I mean, we have money conversations pretty frequently (and we have a joint checking account)…I think he would have made it clear it was about money if it were about that! I think it’s like someone else said…some people just see their stuff as theirs and don’t want to share!

8 Melanie August 22, 2011 at 11:05 am

I would never use D’s deodorant, but I’d use my BFFs in a heartbeat. That’s because D uses that Degree gel crap, not a solid. Gross. And I’d use D’s shaving cream in a pinch, but he wouldn’t be happy about it.

He did get mad when I used his Head and Shoulders (which I do once a week or so) when he was almost out. I just blew him off – it’s not like there’s no more H&S being made. Get over it. I would not care if he used my shampoo (I have like three kinds in our bathroom!), but he never would.

I’m actually more distracted by the fact that you covered yourself up when he came in. Why?

9 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

Oh, haha, I guess because it’s weird to have an argument topless? I don’t have a problem being topless (believe me!) but it was just part of the joke of the fight that I was acting indignant about being topless.

10 Melanie August 24, 2011 at 8:33 am

Have you seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Where Kristin Bell breaks up with Jason Segal while he’s completely naked (and she’s clothed)? I can see how you’d want to cover up for the argument!

11 Paige August 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

So bizarre…is it some special, expensive shaving cream? I don’t really see what the big deal is! My boyf and I could have separate bathrooms if we wanted to, but we share because, hey, that’s one less bathroom to clean!

12 Melanie August 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

Forgot to add that I would never, ever use his toothbrush, and if he used mine, it would go immediately in the trash. People think that’s weird, given all the, ahem, other stuff we share, but other people’s toothbrushes creep me the fuck out.

13 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:07 am

Oh no, sharing toothbrushes is TOTALLY off limits!

14 Lymie August 22, 2011 at 11:07 am

I’m with Eric on this one. I hate people using my things without asking, even if it is small and seemingly insignificant. Don’t get me wrong, I love sharing and offering, but TAKING? Smack. Down. I don’t think it changes in a relationship, especially since you don’t share a bathroom.

15 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:21 am

Good to know! Thanks for sharing some insight on how he may have been thinking!

16 Susie August 22, 2011 at 11:07 am

Wow, that does seem extreme! My boyfriend and I are really lax about sharing things, even if we don’t share the cost – lotion, facewash, shampoo, etc. And I’ve definitely used his deodorant when I’ve run out. There have been a few times where one of us forgets their toothbrush while traveling and we just share. We already swap spit, right? Ha. I feel like when you live together for so long, you stop worrying about splitting the cost of everything exactly or using things equally as much… I just sort of know it’ll even out eventually.
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17 Dori August 22, 2011 at 11:09 am

His reaction seems a bit over the top. When I am at my boyfriend’s, he doesn’t mind me using anything — even his razor. But I guess it is a sensitive issue to Eric!
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18 Laura August 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

Be careful when borrowing shaving cream from men- I once used my bf’s shaving cream on my lady parts not realizing that it had a special cooling agent in it. Let’s just say it did not feel good.

19 ana August 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

My boyfriend CONSTANTLY uses my shit, and it makes me so irrationally pissed off. I use guy’s deodorant because I sweat like a man, and it just protects better. I’m not sure why it pisses me off so much when he uses it, but it just does. Like, get your own deodorant, dude. I can see where Erik is coming from, even though there is absolutely no logical explanation for it. One time my boyfriend used the last of my (girly, peach scented) shaving cream to shave his face. I smelled it on him, and was like “hey babe, did you use my shaving cream?” He denied it. When I went to shave my legs the next morning, and discovered there was no more shaving cream left, I threw one of the biggest tantrums of my life. He just thought it was hilarious.

20 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:20 am

LOL — “irrationally pissed off.” Thanks for this…good to know how the other half feels!

21 ana August 22, 2011 at 11:15 am

Eric***

22 Laura Georgina August 22, 2011 at 11:18 am

Heh. Mr. Man actually was surprised the first few times I stole his shaving cream, but after that (and the realization that I always buy it in bulk and we NEVER run out) he’s been fine. He’s very generous with his clothes, socks, stationary, etc… The only thing that still causes a bit of occasional fuss is me using his desk (fair enough–but it’s too hot for me to work in the non-AC!), and only when I leave my manicure stuff all over it.
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23 Danielle August 22, 2011 at 11:23 am

Yikes!

Nope, my significant other wouldn’t react like that. I don’t think it’s the same as eating off someones plate at a restaurant or something. There, you’ve ordered a dish and there’s a finite amount. You’re hardly going to order a second one. And, in that case, you’ve each ordered a dish to eat for yourselves so it would be like you saying “Oh I don’t like my own shaving cream, let me steal all of yours”. That would be weird and annoying, but this would be like if you show up at your boyfriends house and he’s got a fridge full of food, and you haven’t eaten yet, but he says “No sorry, go out and buy your own food”.

Seems weird and possessive! But, maybe it’s his thing. Are you sure it’s not about money? Why else would he get SO pissed? When I was a broke student, I’d have been annoyed if my boyfriend was constantly using my stuff, but we weren’t living together. It’s not like some special, magical deodorant or cream – he can get more at the drugstore. I think once you live together and share your life, if you can’t share your toiletries, there’s a big problem!

24 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:29 am

I’m pretty sure it’s not about money! I don’t think he was that pissed; I think he was just annoyed (apparently justifiably so, as other commenters have pointed out) and I just didn’t make it clear enough that we really were both joking the entire time!

25 Laura August 22, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I don’t think he got upset over money… I think he just might have felt territorial about his things and that’s OK! Men have different ways of manifesting this, some get crazy over cereal and their juices (Lord have mercy on my soul if I ever drink his Pom/Cran juice) and some don’t want anyone to touch their shaving cream!

26 Liz August 22, 2011 at 11:35 am

My boyfriend and I are pretty good at sharing but I HATE when I buy junk food and he eats it all in about two sittings. On the rare occassion I buy a box of cheez-its I want them to last me a couple weeks. More often then not they are gone within two days. Now I just hide them and eat them when he’s not around.

I did catch him using my toothbrush once… He had forgotten his at work and had been using mine for a few days. I did throw a fit about that. Had he just asked I would have pointed him to the closet where we had about eight brand new extra ones.

27 Rachel L August 27, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I know I’m late on this one, but I wanted to add that this is totally me! I do it more with healthy food, though ($$$$). Once I freaked out because my boyfriend finished some sundried tomatoes that I was saving for a week of salads. Junk food and healthy food…paws off, sweetheart.

28 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:41 am

I definitely used to be ridic about sharing like Eric, but I’ve pretty much gotten past that while living with my fiance the last year and a half…at least when it comes to sharing with him. Other people? DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF! haha

29 Lymie August 22, 2011 at 11:43 am

You’re engaged?

30 Lymie August 22, 2011 at 11:44 am

There are to many rachels here. I’M a Rachel, too. :/

31 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 11:50 am

There are a lot of Rachels here! Well, you know it’s me (the not-engaged author) by my Gravatar pic with my comments! A lot of other Rachels use them too. If you want your pic to display too, you can set it up here: http://en.gravatar.com/!

32 nic August 22, 2011 at 11:59 am

Heh, my husband would probably react like Eric and it’s no reflection on our relationship or our bank account, so don’t worry about comments about you and your man. I “borrow” my husband’s razor all the time and he hates it because it dulls the blades. Totally fair argument on his part but I still reach for his razor when I run out of pink girlie ones.

FYI, conditioner works great for me in lieu of shaving cream. I read this tip on the Nest a million years ago and haven’t bought shaving cream since (it’s a good way to use up those hotel conditioner bottles, too.)

33 Laura August 22, 2011 at 12:13 pm

I do the same thing! It works wonders on my sensitive skin and thick hair. There’s no shaving cream on earth that won’t leave me nicked and irritated.

34 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I have used conditioner on occasion but I’d still have to buy some! My current conditioner is too pricey to waste on this. GREAT idea on hotel conditioner though!

35 Diane August 22, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Just third-ing this! I’ve used conditioner for years and I find that it really helps my dry skin.
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36 Martha Lilian August 22, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Ever since I moved in to his place, pretty much everything is fair game. I’m not sure if you have shared household expenses or if it is every man for himself, but unless I used up something of his and didn’t bothering letting him know or replace it, it is pretty much a non-issue. For the most part, we use different products anyhow, but I’ve found that his Dove for Men Sensitive Skin Body & Face wash is actually quite wonderful, so I use that at my leisure and I’m always stealing his razors. (I keep my disposables for my lady bits and legs and use his for my underarms since they’re always getting clogged with deodorant residue.) IMHO, this is a total overreaction, but those are just how things go in my house.
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37 Rachael August 22, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Lemme add to the “Rachel” mess ….

this post made me snort. my coffee. ow.

At first I was worried about the whole “my bathroom, his bathroom” but then I realized my husband and I have that too … but really they’re both mine. I just favor one for peeing in more than the other. But my shit covers the counters of both and we only use one shower (um, I’m not cleaning both.) so I guess it’s not that weird. After a few months, you’ll be buying shaving cream together so that you can share a 2-pack. Guy’s shaving cream works better anyway. I swear it does. It smells better too, I don’t want my stems to smell like buttercream raspberries or whatever. I want that crisp rainwater scent all the guys get.

38 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 12:08 pm

I’ve always said that I would need separate bathrooms if I were going to live with a guy. I want to be able to groom in private! We can share a bathroom — when we had separate places and one of us would stay over, we had to share — but I prefer not to. I am messy in the bathroom and he is messy in the bathroom, but in a different way, so we both find each other’s mess gross. Luckily, this apartment has two bedrooms and two very spacious bathrooms! He kept his old bathroom and closet, and I took over the other bathroom and closet that is actually attached to our room. We can use the other’s, but for the most part, we don’t. And we definitely shower in our own and are responsible for cleaning our own because there is no way I’m cleaning his bathroom!

39 Diane August 22, 2011 at 12:56 pm

This sounds like the perfect arrangement! When I live with a guy, I want to shower in private. Sorry I’m not sorry! We can fool around in there if you want, but I’m kicking you out when it’s time to wash my hair. (You really don’t want to watch me use the weird, $20, blood-colored shampoo that keeps my fake red hair red. Some things should just stay private.)
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40 Laura August 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Ahh, the early days of cohabitation. I remember those. How I cringed at the sight of his boxers smushed behind the bathroom door and his socks on my toilet cover (barf). This is a hard time, but you guys seem to be making it WAY funner than mine was (let’s just say he no longer does the laundry and now I TRULY hate the color pink).

My BF and I moved in a mere 7 months together, and after 5 years of love and cursing at each other, it’s still annoying to find his sink covered in trimmed hair and globs of toothpaste (the day after I cleaned, WAH!) but I wouldn’t have him any other way (that’s a bold-faced lie, but I love him).

Have fun!!!

41 Jessica August 22, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Hmmm curious. I’ve never understood people who have strict ownership over items. Maybe because my parents never had separate bank accounts, but I get really confused over couples having a “this is mine” ‘tude (unless its a toothbrush). Couples usually share very intimate moments/thoughts/lives, yet, you’re gonna get all 13-year old girl on me because I used your facewash? No way, this is a partnership and you bettabuhleive we are sharing.

I don’t use any of my boyf’s products at his place because they smell like man, but he uses whatever I have in the shower/eats whats in the fridge/etc. I have always had the “what’s mine, is yours” attitude.

PS. cheaper conditioner works better than shaving cream and lasts a lot longer.

42 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 12:24 pm

LOL at “you’re going to get all 13-year-old girl on me…”!

Also, I’ve definitely used conditioner, but my current bottle is too pricey for that! But stealing his can definitely wasn’t my first choice.

43 Kayley August 22, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Frankly, my husband is just happy when I make the effort to shave my legs at all! That’s what 6+ years of cohabitating does to you.

44 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 12:24 pm

HA!

45 Tada August 22, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Quite possibly the BEST comment thus far!

I have to say, though, me and the S/O don’t have a sharing problem, but oh em gee do I HATE it when I offer to get extra drink/food/dessert/whatever and he says “oh no none for me” but yet still manages to take some (all) of it. Drives me ape shit…

46 Toya August 22, 2011 at 12:22 pm

My boyfriend is the same way! I have repeatedly preached to him, “sharing is caring!” and that was more so in the beginning of our relationship. It has become a little easier to use his stuff, but when we first moved in together, I don’t think he was used to sharing. I have also compared it to him having 2 siblings and probably not having the desire to share things as they grew up together.

Ok, I can understand if you’re not living together and you have your separate belongings, but if you’re living together, I think EVERYTHING should be shared! Obviously, if you’ve taken the step to live together, you are going towards becoming life partners (for most) and so why not start SHARING EVERYTHING?!

And sorry I’m not sorry, but I WILL continue to use his razor when and if I need it, even if he throws a hissy fit! ;P

47 nikkiana August 22, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I think I’d be a little weirded out if my live-in significant other was being stingy with sharing his shaving cream. If it was some sort of expensive specialty product, I might understand but if it was just a regular can of run of the mill shaving cream, I don’t really see what the big deal is.
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48 Alex August 22, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Why are you covering yourself during this entire ordeal?

You live together… he’s seen you naked already (I’m assuming)

49 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Partially in jest…and partially because I gesture a lot when I talk so I didn’t want to feel like I was running without a sports bra on!

50 Liz August 22, 2011 at 1:22 pm

When it comes to toiletries my husband and I share, (for the most part) I do agree that he should just share the shaving creme… Yes you can buy your own, but you didn’t have any at the time and I think we all agree that he would rather you be nice and clean and shaved then, “Oh well I am hairy because I had no time to run out to get shaving creme and my bf refuses to share his.” Try using that next time and see how much he minds. I get that you should ask if absolutely possible but if buying shaving creme or asking in that moment isnt an option than I say, gett ovver it! Although, I am weird about sharing food too. My hubby and I buy ice cream and I always throw a fit when he eats MYYY ice creme… He does it every time too… Atleast ASK dude!
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51 Jessica August 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm

My husband and I have to share a bathroom and lately I’ve found myself using his stuff…a lot. It started out innocently enough with me using some of his deodorant when I was out. Then I really liked it on me so I started using it regularly. Then I tried some of his body wash. And toothpaste. And mouth wash. Now I’m wondering if I should come clean…maybe he already knows?
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52 Erin August 22, 2011 at 2:51 pm

I’m not sure where I fit in on all of this, but perhaps I can offer some perspective. I grew up as basically an only child (my brother is 10 years older) and I’m not used to having to share things, but I don’t mind sharing, either. My SO is one of four children who share everything. He always takes my stuff and it mostly just surprised me. Now I’m used to it and don’t care–except for deodorant because I just hate underarms and thinking about them. It’s completely irrational! I don’t actually mind him using mine, I just don’t like knowing about it, haha. It’s a strange hang-up. But I don’t even mind sharing toothbrushes or whatever, now. So maybe it just seems odd to Eric, too, because he’s not used to someone taking his shaving cream.

53 Manon August 22, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I was dying reading this! I totally got that you were both being dramatic and joking for your own entertainment, and it’s exactly things like this that make me miss being in a relationship. I absolutely love the dynamic between you, mostly for selfish reasons because it results in hilarious blog posts, and I like to laugh….keep stealing his shit please!
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54 Samantha M. August 22, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Well, just to avoid future arguments… You could always use conditioner in a pinch if you run out of shaving cream! =)
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55 Liz @ IHeartVegetables August 22, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Hahahaha thats too funny. I’ve never co-habitated, but I’ve totally “stolen” shaving cream, t-shirts, deodorant, cookies, and more from boyfriends ;) haha
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56 Eunice August 22, 2011 at 3:59 pm

My boyfriend doesn’t even notice when I use his things, and he likes it when I wear his shirts. The biggest argument in our household is the matter of toilet flushing. He has this weird thing where he flushes before using the toilet. I’ve been meaning to ask other men if this is normal because he seems to think all men do it and that I was the crazy one for not knowing this (“so it doesn’t splash!!”). What? All I know is that I’m left with nasty toilet paper water.. or even worse. Having my own bathroom may solve this issue though. I think I’m banishing him to the guest bathroom.
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57 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 4:22 pm

I have definitely never heard of the pre-flush! Very interested to hear what other people have to say about this!!

58 Emily Susan August 22, 2011 at 3:59 pm

I can totally see both sides. I’m all for sharing, but sometimes opening something new ( yes evening something little like face wash” gives me a little thrill, so I would be mad if someone opened my new things because now I have to wait to open a new one. Silly, but I am like this with make-up too, but thankfully my fiancee does not borrow it…. then we might have a problem.

59 maria August 22, 2011 at 5:48 pm

my boyfriend and i moved in about the same time you and eric did so i have been loving these “living in sin” posts. but what’s with having your own bathrooms?? you don’t share a bathroom with him? just curious…

60 Rachel August 22, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Nope, we don’t! As I said above, I’ve always said that I would need separate bathrooms if I were going to live with a guy. I want to be able to groom in private! We can share a bathroom — when we had separate places and one of us would stay over, we had to share — but I prefer not to. I am messy in the bathroom and he is messy in the bathroom, but in a different way, so we both find each other’s mess gross. Luckily, our apartment has two bedrooms and two very spacious bathrooms! He kept his old bathroom and closet, and I took over the other bathroom and closet that is actually attached to our room. We can use the other’s, but for the most part, we don’t. It’s nice to have that privacy!!

61 Phoebe August 22, 2011 at 6:20 pm

My boyfriend and I share everything. We even trade off bites of sandwich instead of each having a sandwich, and will drink out of the same glass.. We usually shower together and I use his shampoo occasionally because I like smelling like him. Yes, I know how unbelievably, staggeringly nauseating all of this is! The only thing I can imagine getting pissed off about is if he used my super expensive moisturizing razor blades but that’s just because they’re so expensive. But we definitely do have a lot of those hilarious “LUCY!!!!!” type moments like the one you described, like when I don’t close the chip bag or get toast crumbs in bed or whatever.

62 Summer August 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

My boyfriend and I share toiletries with no problems. I pick out and buy most all of them anyway; if there’s ever something random afoot from him, it’s an item his mom bought on sale and “thought we could use.”

The only thing that I get annoyed about if he gets into without asking me first are my groceries. I’m VERY broke right now and I eat far healthier than he does, so it really grinds my gears if I go to make lunch for myself and see that he ate an entire package of my expensive Flat-Out wraps in his drunken stupor the night before, or cooked my last 8% extra lean ground beef patty…things like that. Luckily he is pretty good about apologizing and replacing said consumed items, often bringing the subject up himself before I even have to confront him.

I can see both sides of your shaving cream debate. I would have done the same thing as you and thought little of it, but I can also see where he has a right to be irked that you went into his space and opened a new package to take something without asking. The best “compromise” probably would have actually been to take the near-empty can and use that for your next shower or two until you had a chance to get to the store and buy your own. Either way, definitely no big deal in the scheme of things and made for some good blog fodder!
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63 Rachel August 23, 2011 at 8:21 am

That’s good that he usually brings it up on his own and apologizes! That would drive me CRAZY!!

64 sarah (the SHU box) August 23, 2011 at 8:16 am

my first thought was “what an ASSHOLE”. seriously? it wasn’t like you couldn’t just buy him MORE!

then i remembered how it did take some time adjusting to cohabitation at first for me (and my now-husband), too. i moved into his house and at first, he sort of acted like he was ‘in charge’ of the space — but i was contributing to 1/2 the mortgage payments, so that wasn’t really true. it took a little bit of adjustment but i am happy to say that we have learned to cohabitate in the best way. (and if i wanted to use his shaving cream – he would be fine w/ it!). so maybe you two just need some time . . .
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65 sara @ the foodie diaries August 23, 2011 at 10:43 am

I giggled throughout this entire post! My ex and I used to have arguments just like this and then burst out laughing when we realized what we were saying to each other :)

P.S. I’m a sucker for Law & Order too. When I was watching The Lincoln Lawyer I was shouting OBJECTION: CALLS FOR SPECULATION! before my mom reminded me that this was a movie and that they bend the rules to make the plot line work. Damn, I should be a lawyer… :)
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66 Mel August 23, 2011 at 11:31 am

What a story, Rachel! I’m loving all the relationship talk/ stories here and actually have a suggestion for a topic I’d love to hear discussed (as a Dear Rachel/ Girlfriend Discussion).

As I get older I’ve noticed that the guys I date (~ ages 23 – 30) have fewer friendships with other guys, girls, cousins, etc. While none of them are anti-social, I find that relationships, dedication to their jobs and life changes leave many with a few, close friends or a bunch of friends around the country they never really get to see anymore.
It’s nice that the frat-kingdom days are over, but as a woman with a large circle and variety of friends, I’m not exactly sure how to act. I mean, I’m gonna have a lot of bridesmaids! What’s normal when you like your man, but also don’t want to feel guilty going out or hanging with the girls? Do you set him on man-dates? I’m LDR so it’s a little more complicated but I’d love to hear: what are your thoughts on men’s “friendships in the real world.” Thanks :)

67 Rachel August 23, 2011 at 11:33 am

THAT is a great topic for a girlfriend discussion! Sharing it with my friends now!

68 Megan August 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm

My live in boyfriend is fine with sharing the shaving cream. It’s when I go for his new mach 4 10 blade vibrating razor that he starts to get huffy.

If he’s really upset, find a barber close to you that offers Hot lather shaves and get him a gift certificate. Best surprise I love you/sorry I steal your shit present ever :)
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69 Jackie @ That Deep Breath August 25, 2011 at 11:18 pm

When my boyfriend and I lived together, we shared everything…except toothbrushes. That would NOT be okay
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70 Rachel (Yes, another one.) January 4, 2012 at 5:44 am

This was hilarious… Post + commentary.

My boyfriend and I share a bathroom… He’s disgusting.

Anyway, he’s a foot taller than me and uses his height as an excuse for getting water EVERYWHERE. HOW IS THAT LOGICAL? I’ve actually had to teach him to dry himself before he steps out of the shower, and to hang up his wet towels and WASH them when they start to grow colonies and smell like sour ass. But that’s beside the point…

He does NOT like his shaving cream or razor messed with… Though I just use and deny. (I only use when necessary!!) Luckily he won’t use my things because he opens my bathroom cabinets and is immediately overwhelmed… He doesn’t know what any of them do and doesn’t care to know. He basically hyperventilates in Sephora. What he DOES use are my SOCKS. Ugh, drives me effing insane. You know our height difference, imagine the difference in shoe size… Son of a &@!*$!!!

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