Living in Sin: My Boyfriend Eric

by Rachel on December 21, 2011

I mention Eric pretty regularly on my blog, but I’ve never been quite sure what to say about him.

When I first started dating him/blogging about it, I was really concerned about not being That Girl Who Posts the Mundane Shit Her Boyfriend Does and Acts All OMG ISN’T HE THE BESTEST CUTEST GUY EVERRRRRR?!?!? I could gush about him, but who wants to hear that? And most of the conversations I find cute/funny/interesting or that I tell my friends are too bizarre/inside-joke-ish to try to explain via the Internet (see also: everyone thinking he was an asshole over the shaving cream incident, which was totally light and funny to us).

On the flip side, I was also worried about not keeping it real — being That Girl Who Tells You Her Relationship is So Perfect and You Know It’s BS. The fact is, there is a lot of negative/awkward stuff that happens as you’re getting to know someone and especially once you move across the country for them. I didn’t want to be all “Cue the credits!” after I moved last year and only post the times he’s charming and leave out how new/different/tough this year has been for me (and us) at times. I didn’t want to be fake.

I’ve also had to deal with the fact that he has a right to some privacy and doesn’t want every conversation we have posted on the Internet (especially considering the story would never be told from his perspective). I’m lucky to date someone who lets me write about him at all, even negative stuff, but I have to be careful not to turn him into some character for everyone’s entertainment. I’m willing to do that with a guy I’ve hit it and quit it with, but not so much with someone I love. (On a related note, this is the same way I feel about sex tapes.)

So! As a result, I feel like I’ve given really strange impression of him and our relationship. I’ve never really written about who he is as a person or how he makes me feel.

The easiest way for me to describe our relationship is to play one of my favorite games: Who Would You Cast In the Movie Version Of Your Life?

If I were making a movie about my life, I’d probably want James Roday to play Eric.

Actually, I’d only want James Roday to play Eric if I could get Dulé Hill to play me. You might think I’d want a smoking hot half-black actress to play me, but the fact is, the chemistry these two have on “Psych” reminds me so much of the way Eric and I interact that I’d totally be fine having a dude play me. (And really, Dulé Hill is just so good-looking that it would be an honor to have him play me.) Anyway, Eric is very irreverent and silly (like Shawn), while I tend to roll my eyes a lot, wear very tight pants, and think I have really good game but there will always be something just nerdy about me (like Gus). These two seem to always be at play and you just know from how fast they trade one-liners and banter that they are just so thrilled to have found someone who can keep up with them and who is always one step ahead with a joke or a bit, and I feel like that’s how Eric and I are together.

If James Roday wasn’t available, or Dulé Hill wasn’t willing to play a woman, the next person I’d have read for his character is David Cross.

Though Eric is considerably younger and hairier — and has a voice that is ten times lower — he reminds me a lot of David Cross, who just happens to be my favorite comedian. Aside from the glasses and facial hair, they also share a similar way of making a joke or just a point and telling stories. And by “similar way of telling stories” I mean “take a long-ass time to tell a story but I don’t really mind because funny and interesting things happen in the tangents.”

This? Is similar to what I live with.

Since David Cross keeps me endlessly amused, entertained, and thinking, I suppose it makes sense that I’d want to date someone with a similar sense of humor, style of storytelling, and approach to bullshit. I love listening to David Cross on long drives so I guess that’s why I like taking road trips with Eric.

If David Cross were not available to star as Eric in my movie, or was just unwilling to wear a hair piece, I’d probably want Paul Rudd to audition next. What’s funny about Paul Rudd is that he reminds me a little bit of Eric in…every movie he’s in.

I wasn’t the first person to say Eric resembles Peter in “I Love You Man.” He got that a lot and had actually never even seen the movie. (Which is how I knew he was saying “totes magotes” without irony.) Although Eric has a lot of guy friends and isn’t socially awkward, there is something about his nice-guy approach that reminds me of Peter.

The other Paul Rudd characters — Andy in “Wet Hot,” Brian Fantana in “Anchorman,” and David in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” — all remind me in subtle ways of Eric.

He’s a fan of comically overdramatic responses to everything like Andy….

And our banter sounds a lot like “You know how I know you’re gay…” in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”…

And when he wants to be intentionally cheesy and ridiculous, he sounds exactly like Brian Fantana…

Eric tends to enjoy being intentionally awkward when he’s being funny, but I’m convinced that eventually one day this will turn into unintentional awkwardness, and then he’s just going to be Phil from “Modern Family.”

For the most part, life in our apartment reminds me of an ongoing improv game. After all the improv I’ve done (theater kids FTW!) it’s so great for me to have that at home, all the time. A lot of my Beckinfield videos are actually based on our real conversations that I then make fit in with my character.

Although we like to play, we also have hours of conversations about serious topics. Just the other night, a segment on “The Daily Show” led to us staying up until 2 AM talking about politics, the Occupy Movement, racism, and reality TV. And despite all his joking, he’s the responsible one in our relationship in a lot of ways. When we first met, I was a little intimidated by his good credit score and lack of…well, baggage and typical 25-year-old-guy bullshit. I’ve definitely grown up a lot this year when it comes to managing money and just acting like a grown-ass adult. That said, he’s a total flake when it comes to schedules and such, so that’s where I tend to be the responsible one.

So. That’s the guy who fell in love with me that I fell in love with too. I’d like you to like him because we plan on staying together for quite some time.

(And to answer the question no one is brave enough to ask because you know how I feel about it…probably sometime next year.)

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Paul @minutrition McConaughy December 21, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Wow… I may never be able to watch Shawn and Gus again now that you’ve got me thinking of Gus as you. Really though, this was a really sweet way to create a solid impression of Eric. Sounds like a great fit and I’ll never be afraid to ask THE question. Remember I’m the one who tries to make sure you don’t turn into THAT girl with the dogs. So I’m glad to hear things are lining up for next year.

Remember the key to a long relationship is always being amazed that he picked you…at least that has worked for me for 43 years.

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2 fluke December 21, 2011 at 5:38 pm

I think you just made me fall in love with your boyfriend! Hahaha. I love non-cheesy love stories! Thanks for keeping it real and giving me hope there are still decent, funny, smart guys out there.

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3 Mel December 21, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Awww. I’m glad you don’t find it at all creepy how obsessed/ excited I was to read this post. Sorry I’m not sorry I enjoy learning all about other people’s love lives.

(…to the point where I had a mini audible squeal at the last sentence. Ok, maybe that part was a little much.)

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4 Elisabeth December 21, 2011 at 5:50 pm

I just had entirely too much fun reading this post and laughing at all of the vids. I love Eric more already.

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5 Ella, RD December 21, 2011 at 6:57 pm

This was a great post. I mean, really, you don’t owe any explanation to anyone because if you love Eric, you love Eric, and who cares what we the readers think? BUT, and I gather that this was your goal – I did have a sort of weird impression of him and wondered why you were so smitten, and this explained it. Not that I was looking for an explanation. I never thought “I wish Rachel would tell us why she is so into this guy.” But it certainly was a sweet read :)

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6 Carrie @ No More Tomorrows December 21, 2011 at 7:20 pm

I see bloggers talk about their significant others and I know I never will have a picture of mine on here. At least, I probably won’t. He likes to not be public and I respect that. I had so many of my IRL friends trying to compare my relationship with theirs and it started to mess with my relationship. Why won’t he this… why doesn’t he that… yeah that’s a recipe for disaster. I’m okay with the weirdness that my relationship is to other people. Because this man is beyond words incredible and I am a better person for knowing him. I reference him and tell stories but I’m pretty sure everyone thinks he’s fake, including my family. Eric is cool in my book because he survived life in Kansas and then got the heck out. Yay for former Kansans leaving their bubbles. :-)

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7 Bridget December 21, 2011 at 8:43 pm

I just loved that you referenced Psych. I love that show.

I would also love to hear the struggles/uncertainties of moving for someone. I wish someone would say that at point or another, you WILL think “I left my family and home for THIS?!” It’s normal and it will pass.

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8 Kaley [Y Mucho Más] December 21, 2011 at 9:02 pm

On my blog, I tend to talk a LOT about my boyfriend, but nothing very personal, I’ve realized. I mean, people see pictures of him and “hear” (read) me talk about him, but they have no idea what his personality’s like. Hmmm!

I’m glad you found a good one.

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9 Joey December 21, 2011 at 10:30 pm

What a cute post!

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10 Parita December 21, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Love this post! So many bloggers blog about their significant others, but oftentimes, it’s on a superficial level. I realize that a lot of people don’t like for every aspect of their lives to be public, including me, however I love your honesty and openness. You share a lot but with class. Love it!

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11 Rachel's Mom December 21, 2011 at 11:34 pm

If I were going to cast someone to play Eric, it would be Megamind. He looks just like him,…well, except for the blue skin. (And his sense of humor is a match, too!)

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12 Rachel's Mom December 21, 2011 at 11:36 pm

[img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkdXBsqq1ok&feature=relmfu[/img]
Watch this and tell me that’s not your boyfriend!

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13 Elise December 21, 2011 at 11:57 pm

I am so very pleased to read this. I like to imagine that in a parallel universe, we became friends while at State. So, I internet stalk you, which means I internet stalk your boyfriend and there are an awful lot of Erics.

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14 shelby December 22, 2011 at 12:39 am

I love Psych. And, um, yeah…Gus is a nice piece to watch. :)

In all seriousness though…I feel like I can understand your dilemma here. Maybe its a little different for me because I’m an Old Married Chick, but I feel like so many blogs are all like “MAH HUBBY THIS” and “MAH HUBBY THAT” that I am almost afraid to mention him sometimes, for fear of being That Annoying Wifey Chick. But obviously he’s a big part of my life, so…yeah.

It’s probably one of those things where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, so you have to just sort of do whatever feels right for both of you, being yourself, and taking in to account the whole privacy thing as well. In any case, I liked this post. I’m open to this Eric character. :)

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15 Emily December 22, 2011 at 9:05 am

Thanks for sharing deets on your relationship with Eric. It’s been intriguing to not know very much about him but it’s clear that you are very happy. I also want to say a HUGE thanks for sharing the “Sorry…I’m Not Sorry” concept. It’s been a life-changer, that’s for sure.

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16 Caity December 22, 2011 at 9:26 am

Love love love Psych. Everytime I watch it I wonder if there are real people like that so thank you for answering that question for me. My boyfriend and I actually devoted a weekend to watching the last season over the summer so I had to send this to him. We don’t normally agree on TV (he watches Surviver & the news – WTF?) so the only shows we can watch together are Big Bang Theory, Bones and Psych. :)

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17 Nicole @ Giraffelegs December 22, 2011 at 9:34 am

haha I don’t think you portray Eric weird at all!

If I could pick one person to play Max..it would be Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. Seriously the same person.

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18 Hannah December 22, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Awesome post. I would love if you talked about Eric/your relationship more, especially now that I have a better idea of him. And I’m living in sin as well.

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19 [SMASH] December 28, 2011 at 3:41 pm

I love how you told us about Eric through different people. It really shows us who he is without exposing every detail of his life! I was thinking about the shaving cream incident the other day when I was in the shower [not creepily…] since my boyfriend and I share body wash and all that. Made me smile.

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