{living in sin} But Where Will We Live? Part III

by Rachel on June 12, 2012

In trying to figure out where to live, Eric and I made it through the Houston vs. The Rest of the World dilemma and then started to look at the pros and cons of the city and the suburbs. After I told Eric that I wanted to move back to the city, his immediate reaction was that it would be too expensive. He wasn’t willing to pay that much extra in rent if we were only renting. The only way he’d be willing to pay more than we were currently paying was if it was going toward a mortgage payment. Ah, renting vs. buying.

This is the point in the conversation where I started looking really uncomfortable — biting my nails and looking around for an escape route.

Dilemma #3: Renting vs. Buying

Eric made all of the good arguments for buying instead of renting, and I can totally understand them from a logical point of view. I get that renting feels like throwing money away. I know that in the long run, it can be less expensive (or at least comparable) to buy. I get that it’s a buyer’s market right now. I know that a lot of people see owning real estate as a very good thing. But I’ve always felt that while all these things make it a good option for other people, it’s not a good option for me.

Given how much I’ve moved around, and how much trouble I’ve had committing to any particular place, I think you can see why committing to one place for 30 years freaks me out. To me, paying more to rent is paying to be protected if the unexpected happens; if I lose my job, find an amazing job on the other side of the country, or just want to be closer to my family, I want to know that I have the flexibility to do that. While some people see renting as a waste of money, given the way I’ve lived my life for the past decade, I think it’s money well spent. Buying scares me because I’ve seen what happens when people get caught up in the excitement over the idea that they can own a home, when they stop worrying about the unexpected happening. Living in Michigan, I saw family members lose jobs and then lose their homes. I’m well aware of all of the people affected by the mortgage crisis. Renting feels like the financially responsible thing to do, and for someone who hasn’t been financially responsible most of her life, I’m actually proud of the fact that I’m thinking that way.

But Eric is pretty much the perfect candidate for buying a home. And he wants to. Once again, I realized that this is a difference in our goals, values, and how we see ourselves. He values loyalty, commitment, working hard for what he wants, and spending what he earns very responsibly. But while I value all those things, I’d also accepted a long time ago that it might take me a while to get to the point wherein I’d made it. I’d accepted that I’d have to struggle for a while. I’d accepted that I’d go where I needed to go and sacrifice what I needed to sacrifice in order to have the career I wanted to have. To some degree, I have a sense of not having earned the right to settle down quite yet. And in a more literal sense, I haven’t: I personally am not in a position to buy a home and I don’t expect to be for some time. And I had made peace with that.

Still, I knew this conversation was coming. I knew that not being renters anymore was on Eric’s list of before-we-get-married goals, and I had accepted that when we decided to get engaged. I knew this was something we were going to have to work through, and so, at this point, I opened myself up to a potential compromise: we could live in the city…if we were buying, not renting.

This was definitely not an official compromise. It was a “let’s see what’s out there before we compromise” compromise. We weren’t sure if Eric really could be happy about living in the city. We had no idea what we could afford. I wasn’t convinced I was actually going to be comfortable with it. But we decided to dip a toe in and see what was out there. We had asked “but where will we live?” enough; it was time to get some answers and options.

The Search

Eric took immediate action on getting the search started. We had that conversation on a Sunday; by Monday afternoon, he was sending me links of potential homes. The good news was, there were a lot of affordable, spacious, nice townhouses in good areas that weren’t in the heart of the worst traffic clusterfucks of Houston. We were super both relieved that moving to the city was a real possibility and wouldn’t be exorbitant. (Everything was pretty comparable to similar homes in the suburbs.) A few days later, we were looking at properties.

I went into each home with a lot of trepidation. The whole thing was exciting, yes, but it was still stressful. I looked in every home at every home and thought, Can I see myself here every day? Can we have kids here? Is there room to grow (personally, professionally) here? Can I see myself here in ten years? How about 15 years? (Because I know everyone says you can just rent it out or sell it if things change, but sorry — I just can’t accept that it’s that easy. While I know that it’s unlikely that we’d have to stay forever if we didn’t want to, I’m not OK with cutting corners or settling for less just because we can “just” move out whenever we want to.) But what I was surprised to find out was that…yeah, I actually could see a future in some of these homes. And in Houston. We quickly let go of the ones that we couldn’t see a future with, even if we absolutely loved them for right now, and focused on the few that seemed like a great fit, for now and for a while.

I became a lot more comfortable with house hunting once we started doing it, and I remembered that a lot of the things about adulthood that scare me are scary because I don’t really understand them. So often, I’ve listened to the cultural narrative and I’m afraid of what I think certain events or experiences will be like. The idea of buying a new car really scared me because I didn’t feel adult enough; I needed my mom to remind me that that I am an adult and that it was time, and then go with me to the dealership and sort of walk me through it and let me see, Oh, yes, this is the right thing for me to be doing. Eric felt similarly about engagement; it wasn’t until we talked about what engagement meant to us that he realized he was ready. Buying a house seemed terrifying to me based on the horror stories I’d heard from other people and it felt at odds with what I’d always expected my life, career, and living situation to be at this point in my life. But when I considered what actually is, and began to see what this would actually look like (and not like “Oh look, this house is so pretty!” look like, but what it would actually feel like), I realized that this was the right decision for me.

And in so many ways, it was my decision. Eric may have brought it up, but every step of the way, he kept checking in to be sure I was sure. He’s wanted this for a long time, so it was easy for him to be sure; since I had openly and honestly expressed hesitation and fear, he needed reassurance that I was fully on board and didn’t want to pressure me into anything. Much like getting engaged, this felt like a huge step, and before we could be happy doing it, we both needed to be all-in. And once we found the right house, we both were.

The search itself was pretty exciting; it was a bonding experience that reminded me of ring shopping in a lot of ways. It was this big decision we were making together, but also for each other, and there’s something romantic about that, and about spending a lot of time openly and unabashedly envisioning your future with someone. We both felt a bit out of our element doing it, like we were playing dress-up or something, but we were both on the same slightly-unsure team, and that was awesome.

Eventually, we found the right house for us, the house that fit all the needs we had spent a lot of time considering; we put in our offer, they countered, we countered, they agreed. Then we had a very rough week when the very first house Eric sent me, the house we loved for a million reasons, suddenly became a possibility (long story short: it had sold just days before we began our search, but the deal was shaky; we were able to put in a backup offer and then spent four excruciating days waiting to find out if the deal would fall through). The disappointment when we didn’t get it was real, but it was just another way we grew closer during the experience. The next day, we were over it and back preparing happily for our move into the house we had already decided on and that we were so excited about.

And we are both SO EXCITED, but I can’t say that I’m not still a little scared. Even as I write this, I realize that we could be wrong about everything. Committing to a house feels, in a lot of ways, like committing to a person. It’s scary to say out loud, “Yep, I’m sure” because we’ve all seen so many people say that and turn out to be wrong, whether it was about a person, a job, or a place. You can look at it from a practical point of view all you want, but eventually, you have to trust yourself. Who cares if something — or someone — is great on paper? Or terrible on paper? I feel like you can never really know when you commit to something this big what might happen in the future, so the goal is to be as self-aware and as sure as you can be.

We’ve now made it through the hard conversations, the search, the fears, the negotiations, the inspection, and then more negotiations. Next up is the appraisal. Though it doesn’t feel real, and we’re kind of holding our breath until the closing date, we have started on the fun stuff: paint colors, floors, cabinets, etc. (Well…it’s fun until you look at how much it costs. “Cheaper to buy,” my ass.)

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Samantha M. June 12, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Yay, a (so far) happy ending! Congratulations on finding a compromise you’re both happy with, and a house you both really like! Fingers crossed that the rest goes smoothly, and can’t wait to hear about your home-improvement projects (which you’ll hopefully be sharing with us as well, if you feel the need).

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2 Laura June 12, 2012 at 12:01 pm

congrats, i hope it all goes off without a hitch!

buying a house is a huge commitment, but, in your own words, you’ve “owned” the fact that maybe it might be a huge mistake, and maybe this decision was the wrong one. but at the end of the day, you’ll have never known unless you made a decision in the first place. you live and you learn and you own it!

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3 Dori June 12, 2012 at 12:12 pm

GREAT compromise! When do you move in? I can’t wait to see pictures.

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4 Rachel June 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Thanks, friend!

Our move-in date is July 18th!

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5 deva at deva by definition June 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Congratulations!

We held our breath until closing, and our closing did go off without a hitch. The appraisal was quick and easy, the inspection didn’t reveal any issues that the seller didn’t fix or that we couldn’t take care of ourselves. I hope that your closing goes just as smoothly!

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6 Savannah June 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Congrats on deciding to buy and finding a wonderful place! I am so excited for you and impressed at all the grown-up decisions that you are making this year. I can’t wait to hear more!

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7 Caity @ Moi Contre La Vie June 12, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Thanks for sharing this journey, its a great narrative. I couldn’t agree more about being shocked and taken aback when the hallmarks of adulthood have reared their head in my life – buying a car, looking at houses etc. I think that’s one of the signs that you’re with the right partner, you may not feel ready or even enthusiastic, but they ultimately make you feel like you’re brave enough to give it a try (with a little handholding).

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8 HS June 12, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I wish you would just own the fact that this isn’t really a very good “compromise” and was not ‘your decision.’ You wanted a) not Houston, b) to rent, and c) definitely can’t afford to buy. And now you are…buying in Houston (side bar: how are you going to afford it?).

It seems like you are a little lost for what to do and are just going along with Eric’s plan. And honestly, that is okay. If you are committed to the person and REALLY believe they are the right one, then I suppose it makes sense. Hang on to that person and enjoy the ride. But it is crazy irritating as a reader to watch you rationalize and justify and make excuses for it. Just “own it” as you are so fond of saying: you are doing what your future husband wants because well…I don’t know your reasons. But don’t masquerade it as compromise/your decision. I suppose it was your decision to sacrifice your desires/goals, but…yeah.

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9 Rachel June 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

HS, I’m sorry you don’t see it as a good compromise (or a compromise at all); I do. I’m not sacrificing any goals. My goal was to be able to live in the city and focus on my career and…I that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I think you have the wrong idea about what my goals are. Renting long term wasn’t ever my goal. Being broke and in debt wasn’t my goal. Neither was moving around a lot. These were just the things I’d come to expect because of the choices I’d made and the hand I’d been dealt. I never said I liked it; I said I’d made peace with it.

This wasn’t me rationalizing giving up the things I desperately wanted (and what, exactly, do you think I gave up here? I’m still unclear on that) — it was me explaining how the things I’d come to accept about my life/my future were based on perception and the past, not based on who I am now, what I really want, and where I see my life going.

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10 HS June 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm

What did you give up? Living somewhere where you actually have real friends, living near family, the freedom to move for your dream job, living in a city you actually love (as opposed to merely liking it or being able to tolerate it)…etc. Also, in a bigger sense, you talk about the major differences between your and Eric’s values. It seems like one of your values was the freedom to move or relocate if you wanted to. Just because you “can” envision yourself living there for the longer term doesn’t mean it is your top choice. And yes, relationships are about compromise. But it just seems like 4 out of 5 times, you are the one getting your B choice while Eric gets his A choice. And then you spend a lot of time telling your readers how ‘no it is okay that really was my A choice too’! Or ‘look at Eric compromising too!’

Can I just bluntly say: WHAT’S THE RUSH? I don’t get your relationship with Eric at all, and clearly it isn’t my place to need to do so, but just like…c’mon. Marriage with the wrong person (one who you don’t even have the same values and goals as? which are sooo crucial to success in the long term) is not a good marriage. All marriages are not good marriages. All adult-type decisions (marriage, buying a house, etc.) are not right for all people even if they are the right age for them. That is fine!

You made finding love your priority for a while. And then you found something that looked a lot like it and followed it. Good for you! But every single post that includes Eric or relationship issues just seems like you guys are forcing it. And maybe the desire to be committed is enough for a long-term commitment. But I know that personally, when I’ve had different goals, values, priorities, etc. from my significant other, it just doesn’t work.

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11 Hannah June 12, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I don’t mean to step into this, but I think Rachel’s relationship is a good one. Honestly, I’m a little wierded out by couples who say they never fight. Like you really agree on everything all the time? I think her blog would get kinda boring if all she talked about was the rainbows and sunshine part of her relationship. We look here for advice/conversation about how to deal with issues, so that’s what gets mentioned the most. I have no doubt that if we knew them in person that we would see how great they are together. It’s hard to get some of that stuff out of just the words and bits of info that gets shared on her blog.

Rachel and Eric have been together for a while (like 2 years I think), so it’s not like it’s rushing into things. In fact, I think they’re taking things slower than a lot of couples do, and they’ve put the thought into what it means to them. They didn’t move in together just because they could (like when Rachel first moved to Texas), they did it for a next step in a relationship. And many couples that are just boyfriend/girlfriend (not feyonce or necessarily planning on getting married) buy houses. Rachel did get one of the A’s on her list: living in the city; Eric wanted to be more out in the suburbs. But I don’t think this is a keeping score thing, where they compare who got more of what they wanted. It’s a “what’s right for us” kinda thing.

So if Rachel is happy and excited, then I’m happy and excited for her too! Can’t wait to see the new place and how you make it pretty!

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12 Rachel June 12, 2012 at 4:37 pm

HS — I thought I made it clear in the first post that “living somewhere where you actually have real friends, living near family, the freedom to move for your dream job, living in a city you actually love (as opposed to merely liking it or being able to tolerate it)…etc”…that is actually not possible for me. None of those things exist in one place for me. Even without a guy in the picture, I was already compromising on that. My friends are all over the country, I’m not happy living where my family is, my dream jobs (I have many) are anywhere and everywhere, and I don’t LOVE once particular city any more than any other. I tried to make it clear that I don’t have a top choice and that’s why this was difficult for me.

As for your strong convictions that I’m marrying the wrong person, well, I’m not really sure what to say except that I’ll let you know where/when we are planning to get married so you can stand up when they ask “Does anyone object to this marriage?” and say, “I do! I don’t know either of them, but I just know they are doomed because I read her blog.”

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13 Aj June 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I hate to be a big buttinsky but there’s also this thing called “change.” Sometimes we think we know exactly what we want and then we learn that we could be just as happy, if not happier (because we’ve got the partner we love with us), doing something different.

I LOVE NYC and ALL my family lives there – and a number of my friends are there or in the vicinity. And I can do my career there, with great ease. But when I met my partner and fell HARD, she informed me she was heading back to CA as soon as she could (we were in another state for graduate school, where neither of us were happy). Well I got a job in CA because I had never tried living in CA but she had spent enough time in NYC to know it wasn’t for her. But my job was in LA rather than Northern CA, where she wanted to live. But again, it wasn’t NYC where I want to live (and where, by the way, we could actually get married). But you know what? We love it here for so many reasons. Each step of the way we compromised and neither of us got our A choice. But in compromising we actually found a great choice that winds up being greater than the sum of what we each had to give up to be here.

It’s great that Rachel and Eric are having these arguments and discussions before they get married. So often (and I myself am guilty of this) these occur later on and suddenly a couple is married and realize they disagree about the fundamentals. What they realize is that they can find agreement and they each value each other’s happiness. I think we may see everything more from Rachel’s perspective and feel defensive for her (because who doesn’t want to make sure a friend is not settling for a guy who’s less than) because we are reading everything from her perspective. We’re not hearing about Eric’s decision to compromise about living in the ‘burbs in full detail because it’s not his blog.

Ok stepping off the defensive train at the should get back to work station.

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14 Erin June 13, 2012 at 8:32 am

The thing is, NO ONE knows that they are for sure marrying the right person, so yes, you could be making a huge mistake. But you could also be making the greatest decision of your life. That’s the beauty of life: nothing is certain.

People who say they know for sure they will be married to same person forever are full of shit; there’s no way to know that without jumping in and giving it a try.

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15 Aly June 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

I have to be honest, while I don’t share the same views as the original commenter, I found the narrative you used to explain this process a bit confusing and could see how it comes across as you putting in more effort/compromise to make yourself happy in Houston while Eric already had a more established life. I appreciate that you go into the comments and “connect the dots”, but (just as an example), I think you could have been more direct in the first part about there not really being a place that has “everything” for you, or explain more in-depth about there isn’t ONE city you love and miss type thing and then go on to explain how eric did x,y,z, which helped you pursue other writing opportunities, etc. I know you have made a few posts that brought up that topic indirectly (making friends, working on some other writing pieces, etc), but I think it would have come together nicely and more cohesive if you had done part 1 bringing all of it together to set the foundation for the rest of the posts.

I know at the end of the day it’s your blog and you can write as you wish, but honestly I just felt like this particular entry was difficult to follow because I felt like you brought up some interesting points (like what do you need to be happy in a place or how maybe how your goals for yourself were changing now that you knew you would be committing to a house in Houston) but then just sort of left them there. Anyway, it’s not mean to be critical for the sake of being critical and I hope it doesn’t seem that way. I know people (and their writing styles) grow and evolve (and they should), but I just found it harder to connect the dots with your writing recently.

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16 Rachel June 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

@Aly — I appreciate this type of criticism and I know you aren’t trying to be mean! Thanks for weighing in!

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17 stef June 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

On this note, I find the timing confusing. I’m realizing now that the engagement & living discussions happened a few weeks/months ago. The jump from “where will we live” to “we’re buying a house!” happened super quickly. I guess I’m just used to reading more real-time blogs, so my fault. I’m still a fan. It’s really not a complaint.

As for HS, I long ago made a policy to never hate read blogs. If you can’t stand the story and just read to find nasty things to say, walk away.

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18 Manon June 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Congrats! “Cheaper to buy, my ass….”, “NO SHIT” says the girl who has spent almost $8k on all that “fun stuff” that comes along with home ownership like paint, carpet, furniture, a roof…..it never ends. But, even with the huge pain in the ass a house can be, I’d NEVER go back to renting…….EVER. Somehow it’s worth it!

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19 Shannon June 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Congrats Rachel! What a great compromise. You and Eric make an amazing team.

Agreed with the “Cheaper to buy my ASS”. All that fun stuff adds up quick! Have so much fun with it.

What an exciting time for you guys!!

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20 Jen June 12, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Congratulations! Think of it this way. Owning a house isn’t about “saving money long term”, but about having an asset. Whether or not you end up spending more on the mortgage (and, for the love, furnishing the bloody thing!), you’re building equity in something that you should be able to resell at a profit.

If you drop $1,000 per month for rent over 5 years ($200k mortgage at 6% and 30 years), you’ve pissed away $60k and have nothing but your freedom in the end. If you drop $1,000 on a mortgage, you should have at least $20k in equity within five years.

Is your freedom and/or fear of commitment worth $20k?

Sorry to get all math dork on you.

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21 Rachel June 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Haha, no worries — the math dork arguments are very valid! One of the things that helped me a lot was exactly what you said: “Is your freedom and fear of commitment worth $20K?” I realized that buying is definitely risk…but renting is a guaranteed loss. I can’t feel confident saying that we can resell it for a profit (for all the reasons I outlined in my post) but again, losing money in this case is a risk, not a guarantee. So numbers definitely helped me!

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22 Ellie H. June 13, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Renting isn’t a guaranteed loss though – it drives me crazy when people say this, it’s a false equivalency. You pay money and in exchange you get a place to live. That’s like saying that paying for food is a guaranteed loss because after you eat the food you have nothing to show for it – we don’t decide to stop eating though. It’s not a “loss” because you get something for your money, you are not just throwing it out the window.

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23 Ashley June 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

But as so many people learned in the fallout from the real estate run-up of ’05 and ’06, you cannot count on having $20,000 in equity in the home. You cannot count on house values appreciating or even staying the same. My husband purchased a townhouse in 2005 for $140,000 and took a mortgage on it for $108,000.

Today the home is worth $40,000, according to the property appraiser, and there’s $98,000 or so left on the mortgage. That’s negative equity, or underwater, or upside down, or whatever you’d like to call it. It wouldn’t be a problem if we liked where we lived, as he’s good on the loan and has a very reasonable interest rate, but I’d just like to make the point that there are no guarantees in the housing market.

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24 Mel June 12, 2012 at 2:38 pm

YES to that fear that accompanies any “grown up decision.” Buying my first car was much the same experience and I totally dig that sometimes you have to dive into the fear and learn or try in order to grow. Once you make the big decision, it’s no longer about “should I or shouldn’t I?” and more about “How can I make this work?” and that’s usually much more manageable!

Although I think you leapt off the page of what I would consider relatable to my last year, that’s even more reason I keep turning back. Totally dug this series because it touches on a topic I haven’t really had experience with yet but makes it seem less daunting once I get there. It’s definitely a new way to think about navigating relationships.

I hope this new home will be just the right fit for you guys! And I bet the pups will be thrilled!

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25 Aj June 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I’m so excited for you! I definitely see the role of compromise but also of recognizing who adult Rachel is and is becoming present in this series. It is a wonderful feeling to have the opportunity to be challenged in a loving way by our partners to develop and pursue our goals and dreams.

Le sigh…to own…maybe one day. I’ve done by research in LA and for the same neighborhood (same street) and a smaller apartment with fewer ammenities, we would pay more in mortgage each month plus HOA (not to mention down payment and repairs and all the stuff our rental management takes care of). See, one of the wonderful benefits of choosing Houston!

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26 Heather June 12, 2012 at 3:41 pm

My husband bought a house a couple of months before we met (I was only 22 at the time…not quite “house buying” age). It isn’t the house I would have picked, but when we got married I was so excited about the possibilities thar house held. Fast forward a year and a half, and it is SUCH A PAIN to have to deal with broken garbage disposals, leaky fridges, and yard work. I love that we have so much freedon to do what we want to the property, but I sometimes wish I had the ease of apartment living back.

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27 Mary (A Merry Life) June 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Congrats Rachel! I’m sure it’s scary but also very exciting as most adult decisions are. :)

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28 Paul @minutrition McConaughy June 12, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Happy new steps in your rockin’ life. Love your story. Paul

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29 Mikala June 12, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Wow, your post makes it sound like you committed to the idea, searched a few places, made an offer, bam bam boom and it was all said and done within the week. Are you superwoman?

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30 Rachel June 13, 2012 at 6:27 am

Oh it didn’t happen that fast at all! It went very smoothly (aside from the backup offer disappointment I mentioned) but it definitely took longer than a week!

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31 Kristen June 13, 2012 at 8:35 am

Congratulations! I just closed on my first condo on Monday, so I know how exciting, scary and overwhelming this time can be! Everyone kept telling me the financing part would be a nightmare, but it wasn’t so bad.

Best of luck, if you have any questions feel free to contact me!

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32 Erin June 13, 2012 at 8:37 am

“You can look at it from a practical point of view all you want, but eventually, you have to trust yourself. Who cares if something — or someone — is great on paper? Or terrible on paper? I feel like you can never really know when you commit to something this big what might happen in the future, so the goal is to be as self-aware and as sure as you can be.”

The quote above is absolutely right on point! If we all knew that the decisions we made were going to be “right” before we made them, life would kind of suck. Sure, there’d be no reason to worry you were making the wrong choice, but it would be very boring and you’d never experience things out of your element.

Congratulations on buying a house! I’ve owned now for about three years and I would never go back to renting again. And I had those same feelings of, “Is this really the right decision? What is something goes wrong?” I think it’s a normal reaction to a large change.

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33 Rain June 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

I read throught the comments others left you before posting.
You know it’s funny…I too think that you are compromising a little on buying, and not living right in the city. I feel like these were things that sounded realy important to you.
BUT….
Life is compromise and change and trying new things. Nothing in life is guaranteed to work. Relationships/marriages succeed and fail. It’s about taking the chances and making the compromises and seeing if it works.
I am happy for you and I wish you much happiness.

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34 Jacki June 13, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Congratulations! And you know what? The whole compromise thing … well, that’s what being in a relationship entails, right? Life is change, life is compromise. Nothing is guaranteed – not marriage, a job, our health, money, how much we may love or hate our chosen city or work on any given day. AJ said it very well.

Buying a house is scary as shit and my situation is the easiest lame-o version of such – and it is still scary and big. (I bought my grammy’s house. From my dad.) But it’s also exciting and wonderful if it is the right decision for you. So – yay!!

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35 Brittney @ Brittney Breathing June 13, 2012 at 8:31 pm

YAY! How exciting for you guys!!! Agh, buying house seems so GROWN UP. Crazy. Have fun with everything!

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36 Abelle June 14, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Congrats! As someone who’s been following your blog for a few years now, I’m so excited to see you move into the next phase of your life (literally!). :]

Also, I’m actually really glad to see you cover some of the more tedious or not-quite-so-nice aspects of this whole process. The prospect of moving in with someone is something I may have to seriously consider when my boyfriend wraps up his schooling in a year, so I’m glad to sort of get a “preview” of some of the thought processes I’m going to have to get into should an actual move-in end up happening.

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37 Emily @ Relishments June 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm

So exciting! Brian and I are casually doing the house hunt thing right now and will probably get a lot more serious over the summer. I’m the one that really wants it, but sometimes I get a little scared about making such a serious commitment. I’d love to hear more about the before, during and after process.

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38 grace b May 10, 2013 at 10:43 am

Hi Rachel. I know you don’t write here anymore (and I’ve been reading your other blog since) but I just had to seek this post out today (I read it when you originally posted it). My boyfriend and I are having the home-ownership conversation and it scares the shit out of me. But I feel so much better having read through this post and the comments. Thanks for making me feel stronger.

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39 Rachel May 10, 2013 at 4:09 pm

I really, really appreciate that. :) Hang in there and keep me posted!

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