{the life} The Friday social

by Rachel on September 21, 2012

ice cream cones

I haven’t been this happy it’s Friday in a long time. But after three intense weeks at work, today is the deadline. I’m really excited to shout “Pencils down!” at the end of the day.

This week:

  • I learned of Amazon Whispersync. Basically, you can buy a book for Kindle, add narration from Audible, and seamlessly transition between the two. The site says “Now you don’t have to put a book down — even if you’re cooking, running, or commuting.” OR SHOWERING?!?!?! This is amazing.
  • My favorite boots were in the shop. After five years of a lot of loving, they were literally falling apart (huge holes in the toes, worn-down heels) but I was afraid to leave them with anyone after the first pair of shoes I had repaired turned out kind of eh. (Like, they are repaired but the service was awful — every time I’d go back to pick them up on the agreed-upon date, he’d tell me it was going to be another week — and they are fixed but not OMG AMAZING fixed.) Finally, I couldn’t ignore the holes any longer — picking out socks with the thought of “will these look OK showing through the holes in my boots?” on your mind is kind of sad — so I read a bunch of reviews online and took them to Houston Quality Shoe Repair. I’ve felt a little lost while dressing myself in the morning this week, but I get them back tomorrow!
  • My hair was out of control and I kind of gave up on trying to tame it. I have to believe that, plus my lack of boots, has a lot to do with why I’ve felt extra stressed this week. But I’m getting a relaxer tonight, thank goodness. It seriously felt like we had a third person living in our house. On my head.

For your reading (and viewing) pleasure…

The New Girl: Mindy Kaling Promotes Herself Out of The Office and Into The Mindy Project [Vulture]

A Reaction to the Backlash Against Mindy Kaling [Racialicious]

Is ‘Opting Out’ The New American Dream For Working Women? [Forbes]

An Interview with Jessica Valenti [The Hairpin interviewed the feminist author of the new book Why Have Kids?, which I am planning to start reading this weekend. It’s free to borrow if you have Amazon Prime, but I might make it my first Whispersync purchase.]

My mom sent me this video about the new Little Mermaid ride at Disney California Adventure Park. It’s about how they made Ursula and it’s pretty incredible. Three-year-old me is terrified by it but adult me finds it pretty badass.

My friend Dallas started a new blog, Pearl Clutching. So many of my posts are inspired by conversations that she and I have so I’m really excited that she’s blogging now!

That’s what’s up with me! What’s up with you?

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jacki September 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

Opting out and working for myself without worrying about how much money I make is my dream. Sorry I’m not sorry.

The thing is, I never wanted a career and I was always really open about that. I wanted to be a writer, but knew I had to pay the bills somehow, and married a guy who wouldn’t work, and got trapped in this job that pays *just enough* to make leaving really painful. But there is ZERO potential here for more money or a better position, just more responsibility and stress without compensation for it.

What I feel I’d serve the world best as is a writer, mom, and … who knows what else. I want to help people and I want to create, and I don’t want to do it in the tiny pockets of time outside of a cubicle.

Unfortunately my boyfriend opted out and started a business before we started dating. So right now he makes no money and I don’t have the option. And there are days this makes me very jealous/sad/scared for our future. Aaaaand that’s hard to admit.

I love Mindy Kaling. So. Much. For so many reasons.

Off to check out Dallas’s new blog!

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2 Rachel September 21, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I think about this a LOT and I think the fear for me is that when you opt out as a way to work from home, that maybe you don’t really get to work from home? It might different since you’re planning to be a Gocky (stepmom, for those of you who don’t read Jacki’s blog) so you get the joy of being home with a toddler that might be different from staying home with a baby, or with a couple little kids? Basically, I think there is a difference between a work-at-home-mom (or dad) and a stay-at-home, and I wonder how hard it would be to actually be a WAHM or if that’s what I’d tell myself I was but in reality, I’d never have time to write.

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3 Jacki September 22, 2012 at 8:41 am

I do think it would be tough to consistently work from home! I think my ideal life would consist of teaching yoga part-time, writing from home, and chasing a kid (or three). But for now … not gonna happen.

Most moms I know who work from home are required by their employer to have childcare, and I think a mom (or dad) working for her/himself from home would probably want to have at least part-time childcare for the same reason – to actually get some work done! Kids are freakin’ exhausting.

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4 Brandy September 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I love it when you share things that you are reading — I’m always looking for new blogs/books/articles and you have great taste.

Also I can’t believe how real Ursula looks! That would seriously creep me out if I saw that as a kid.

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5 IDK My BFF Jes September 21, 2012 at 10:47 am

I’m all about opting out!

I have never been career driven. My goals have always been to get married and raise a family..shoot, if I can even work it out to be a stay at home wife before it’s baby time then I’m all about it! But this isn’t to say that I will marry anyone to have this happen. I’m just hoping that I will be lucky enough to marry someone that will provide this for me. But love comes first, so who knows what will happen.

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6 Erin September 21, 2012 at 11:06 am

I have a totally different view on “opting out.” I was raised in a household that turned traditional gender roles upside down.

My mom made about 4x what my dad made and he cooked our meals, did most of our laundry and really took on a traditional “mom” role. In fact, I used to refer to him as my Dad-Mom.

Although it was completely different from all of my friends growing up, honestly, I loved it. He owned his own business, but he was always around and we are super close as a result. He ALWAYS put us first and it has impacted my life so positively. Now that all of his kids are out of the house, he still works for himself, but he works full time.

While I’d love to around my (non-existant) kids like my dad was, I’d hate for them to miss out on having another parent like I did. My mom majorly provided for us, and while I appreciate it greatly, it left me without a close relationship to my mom.

That said, there is definitely a balance to strike no matter if you work outside of the house or not. Finding it is the key.

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7 Rachel September 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm

That’s an awesome story! People talk about stay-at-home dads as if it’s a new trend, so it’s great to hear about people who experienced that and what it was like for them.

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8 Sara September 21, 2012 at 11:54 am

I just picked up my favorite boots from a new repair shop, and I can relate to feeling really nervous about it. I’ve had bad experiences with tailors ruining my clothes and shoes are wayyy more important to me. But aside from them not taking credit cards, it was painless, plus my boots look fantastic since he took it upon himself to spay with some kind of suede restorer. Good luck with your boots! Hopefully you’ve found one of the good ones.

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9 Rachel September 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Thanks! Fingers crossed it works out as well for me as it did for you!

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10 Kat September 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Yep, terrified to take my fave boots in too – but they’re no longer wearable, so I might as well give it a shot! Hoping the place everyone raves about in Lansing will come thru for me.

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11 Aj September 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Summer is supposed to be easy at my job since I work at a university and fewer students are around. For a variety of reasons, both personal and professional, this summer has felt very busy. Today marks the end of summer as the students are moving back for Fall Quarter today and this weekend. I’m basically terrified for the next 11 weeks. It’s going to be non-stop madness. There will be so much going on and I truly care about every single project and responsibility I have. I think this is why I simply cannot concentrate today. And, you know, Friday in general.

That said, my mind has bypassed Halloween (although we have a GREAT costume idea) and gone direclty to Thanksgiving and Christmas. My parents will be visiting us this Christmas and I’m excited to take over my dad’s role of doing a totally over-the-top Christmas meal. In fact, I’ve been researching recipes instead of work today.

Also, I’ve become more and more intrigued by the idea of having a wedding…I even created a pinterest board.

That’s me this week!

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12 Stephanie September 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Growing up I wanted to be a stay at home mom with the 4 kids and the perfect little house and ever since I went to back to school I find myself hating the idea of being home. I have total respect or the moms and dads who stay at home with their children all day, I imagine it can be quite hard, but as of right now that is just not what I want. When I am looking for a man to spend the rest of my life with it is important to me that he is confident enough in himself to be able to stay at home with the kids. Not that I think my career is more important than his but I want someone who is flexible either way. I may have kids and want to never leave them or miss the hustle and bustle of a career I have busted my ass to get to. Whenever I tell this to people they tend to laugh right out loud. Why is my career automatically less valuable then my partners?

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13 Sarah Crowder September 21, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I’m currently a SAHM but I’m not sure if that’s what I want. I think I want that for my son’s first few years but I’d like to be back to work when he’s school age. The challenge is how to keep myself attuned to the pulse of things and involved enough to be employable when the time comes. It weighs heavily on my mind.

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14 Samantha M. September 22, 2012 at 12:06 am

I’ll own it: I would go insane as a stay-at-home mom. I hated being unemployed, and now that I’m back at work I’m exhausted but SO happy (and working my butt off to make myself invaluable, haha). I hate housework, I like cooking but hate feeling like it’s a chore, and basically I’d be the worst housewife ever.

That said, I hope to be a part-time employee when we have kids. I just know I need my own thing happening for myself to be really happy, and that being a housewife/mom wouldn’t fulfill me like it does others. But as a latchkey kid, I resented that my parents weren’t around to take me to sports or classes for the most part (I mean, I don’t care NOW, but as a kid it bugged me a lot), so I think part-time employment, if it can work out, would be a great compromise so I still have something for me that financially helps out our household while also being home when my kids get home. But again, that’s the dream; I’m fairly sure we’ll have to both work full-time (we live in CA after all, where the COL is ridic even in the STICKS – and we don’t live in the sticks), but I admire the hell out of people who are willing to be more financially regimented to have one parent stay at home.

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15 Kristin @ FoodFash September 25, 2012 at 7:41 pm

I never get the timing right with repairing boots. They’re always WAY ruined by the time I accept the fact that they are in need of some love. Fingers crossed yours turn out perfectly!

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